Bored and feeling empty, I was fiddling round' the net til I happened to chance upon this message which I saw long ago.
Gemini & Libra
When Air meets Air, love is a breeze. This refreshing, carefree duo sparkles with optimism. Gemini's sociability reinforces Libran elegance. In the outer world, they are graceful and entertaining dancing partners, complementing and understanding each other perfectly. They love communication, outings, travel, surprises. Libra appreciates the conjugal bond, but is delicate enough to let Gemini decide for him or herself. In any case, their daily life together is such a joy they are inseparable...
Is this true? If yes, I'll be overjoyed. It would indicate that, it exists. But it's up to One to determine the truth of this message. I'm not a big believer of Horoscope, but it does influence my life to a certain degree. But it's great to believe in something, right?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The Process Of Thinking Could Be Lethal
No matter how fun JC life is, the stress of leading this kind of life just keep appearing, no matter how hard you tried to con yourself into believing that it's imaginary, no big deal or is normal.
Well, it's very different from Secondary School life. Indeed. It's always contradictary, cause I like stress, yet I hate too much of it. Gemini traits ? God knows.
Many argue that we should THINK more, but that is not necessarily a good thing. My ideas, my so called thinking, is starting to affect my life. I, erm, cant focus. I feel overloaded with ideas. Yet, I feel empty within. Weird, I know. I dont express myself well, so this explains why I dont really talk to people seriously.
Lacking of confidence is another thing. It's not that kind of academic confidence. Confidence in front of strangers, friends, school mates. It's the confidence to pursue what you want. This question, has been stuck in my brain for a while now. I dont really know how to approach this question. Well, is it meant to be? Does God really exist ? Fate ? Luck ? To ask for a sign from a Being concealed from our eyes. There's no physical evidence to prove his existence, yet I do believe. Why? I would wonder sometimes.
Music feeds my soul. Movies help me visualize. Games allow me to live a different life. Well, I guess they do reflect my personality to a certain degree. I find it hard to even understand myself.
I guess this is one of the reason to why I like to sleep/laze so long in bed. I can just isolate myself from the world, not necessarily from the world to embark on a journey in mine, but...To just feel. Nothing.
Well, it's very different from Secondary School life. Indeed. It's always contradictary, cause I like stress, yet I hate too much of it. Gemini traits ? God knows.
Many argue that we should THINK more, but that is not necessarily a good thing. My ideas, my so called thinking, is starting to affect my life. I, erm, cant focus. I feel overloaded with ideas. Yet, I feel empty within. Weird, I know. I dont express myself well, so this explains why I dont really talk to people seriously.
Lacking of confidence is another thing. It's not that kind of academic confidence. Confidence in front of strangers, friends, school mates. It's the confidence to pursue what you want. This question, has been stuck in my brain for a while now. I dont really know how to approach this question. Well, is it meant to be? Does God really exist ? Fate ? Luck ? To ask for a sign from a Being concealed from our eyes. There's no physical evidence to prove his existence, yet I do believe. Why? I would wonder sometimes.
Music feeds my soul. Movies help me visualize. Games allow me to live a different life. Well, I guess they do reflect my personality to a certain degree. I find it hard to even understand myself.
I guess this is one of the reason to why I like to sleep/laze so long in bed. I can just isolate myself from the world, not necessarily from the world to embark on a journey in mine, but...To just feel. Nothing.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Listening to Moody Music soothes the Broken Soul
Life's going through some weird modifications; Isolation of Classmates (And I don't know the reason why?!), the SUDDEN enthusiasm for JC related activites, Bus no. 58 seems to never come on time when I finally decided to take that bus service to JC (I'm late fro bout' 6 times in 3 weeks o.O!).
But somethings never changes. Brother still sucks, act retarded, goes around calling people G@Y when he's OBVIOUSLY one himself. Parents have really poor, sucky conflict solving skills (I dont even think they possess any). I still think alot and randomly, causing some of my nervous functions to go haywire T.T
Well, listening to some Halo MP3s, spewing insults at my brother through blogging...I feel kinda better =D. Fucking retard has to always pick a fight. No balls to I must add.
Whatever bout' that pathetic existence, at most he'll come read my blog and does his usual shit dance again, possibly tomorrow. I rather spend my time oogling at the girls of MJC LOL. Erm that was meant to be a cold joke LOL.
Edited*
As a Gemini, and as reality knocks maturity in this guy, there'll be mixed feelings for my famliy relationships (But thank God (Should you exist), I have a beautiful, cute sister XD, who resembles me in certain ways). It's something like being insecure. Lacking confidence. And worse, my thinking and logic differs from many. I wonder though, what kept my mind; my soul going, although it seems everything from all aspects of Life is against me?
*Yo Retard! Care to comment using your REAL name? Don't post anonymously. That's equilavent to having NO BALLS.
But somethings never changes. Brother still sucks, act retarded, goes around calling people G@Y when he's OBVIOUSLY one himself. Parents have really poor, sucky conflict solving skills (I dont even think they possess any). I still think alot and randomly, causing some of my nervous functions to go haywire T.T
Well, listening to some Halo MP3s, spewing insults at my brother through blogging...I feel kinda better =D. Fucking retard has to always pick a fight. No balls to I must add.
Whatever bout' that pathetic existence, at most he'll come read my blog and does his usual shit dance again, possibly tomorrow. I rather spend my time oogling at the girls of MJC LOL. Erm that was meant to be a cold joke LOL.
Edited*
As a Gemini, and as reality knocks maturity in this guy, there'll be mixed feelings for my famliy relationships (But thank God (Should you exist), I have a beautiful, cute sister XD, who resembles me in certain ways). It's something like being insecure. Lacking confidence. And worse, my thinking and logic differs from many. I wonder though, what kept my mind; my soul going, although it seems everything from all aspects of Life is against me?
*Yo Retard! Care to comment using your REAL name? Don't post anonymously. That's equilavent to having NO BALLS.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Seeking an Answer, for a Question that I do no know
Well, I got my OGL form, so I guess I'll join the next Orientation as an OGL. Hopefully my O level grades will be sufficient to get me to Meridian JC, cause I'm starting to love this place. The environment is nice. The people there are nice. It's a far cry from my Primary and Secondary schools, there were some memorable occasions, but it's the people. There have to be this group of people, who have to practically ruin everyone's day through immature actions.
This few days, I'm seeking an answer, to a question, which I do not know. It just something, not visible by the naked eye, audible by our ears, and ironically, it's something I even DO not know of. It's just there, bothering me.
Oh well. Settle this Xbox 360 proposal fast, prepare for the college race and OGL thingy =D, and for CNY to come. I can't wait for 4E1 reunion at Mrs Oon's house. I just can't wait.
This few days, I'm seeking an answer, to a question, which I do not know. It just something, not visible by the naked eye, audible by our ears, and ironically, it's something I even DO not know of. It's just there, bothering me.
Oh well. Settle this Xbox 360 proposal fast, prepare for the college race and OGL thingy =D, and for CNY to come. I can't wait for 4E1 reunion at Mrs Oon's house. I just can't wait.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The Void Within
Well, I'm a little "busy" and lazy to blog bout' my JC Orientation, but I THINK I'll post it up sometimes. Afterall it's fun.
I believe, although it's some kind of propaganda by the school, that at least I got some chance to actually enjoy some freedom. Geminis value their Freedom alot. And I DO meant alot. I'm thinking of whether to join in as an OGL (Orientation Group Leader) for the Orientation Camp after the 1st 3 months. A part of me is dying to join. Another, is reluctant, half-hearted.
I've met some WONDERFUL people, made some new, WONDFERFUL friends, but I still can't shake that feeling of emptiness inside me. I'm beginning to isolate myself from everyone. Not a bad sign. But, I just can't help it. It's like some evil Jedi using the evil "Force" to control my mind and actions. But I can't just shake it off.
Extreme Boredom? Lack of sleep? Lack of Porn? LoL that third part is some joke. A really cold one indeed.
So anyway bout' that being empty inside. I've many theories bout' that, but Heck, too much thinking is scary! But the thing is. Is it because of her? The more I think bout' it, the more confused I get.
Dude I SERIOUSLY wish that there's a Xbox360 and Gears Of War for me to indulge in now T.T, to curb me from thinking bout' this so hard.
A early message : Happy 1/17 Day ~ OneOneSe7en~ Halo rules my World! For now*
I believe, although it's some kind of propaganda by the school, that at least I got some chance to actually enjoy some freedom. Geminis value their Freedom alot. And I DO meant alot. I'm thinking of whether to join in as an OGL (Orientation Group Leader) for the Orientation Camp after the 1st 3 months. A part of me is dying to join. Another, is reluctant, half-hearted.
I've met some WONDERFUL people, made some new, WONDFERFUL friends, but I still can't shake that feeling of emptiness inside me. I'm beginning to isolate myself from everyone. Not a bad sign. But, I just can't help it. It's like some evil Jedi using the evil "Force" to control my mind and actions. But I can't just shake it off.
Extreme Boredom? Lack of sleep? Lack of Porn? LoL that third part is some joke. A really cold one indeed.
So anyway bout' that being empty inside. I've many theories bout' that, but Heck, too much thinking is scary! But the thing is. Is it because of her? The more I think bout' it, the more confused I get.
Dude I SERIOUSLY wish that there's a Xbox360 and Gears Of War for me to indulge in now T.T, to curb me from thinking bout' this so hard.
A early message : Happy 1/17 Day ~ OneOneSe7en~ Halo rules my World! For now*
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Truth & Reconciliation.
Possessing 2 minds in 1 body. 2 different thinkings. 2 different personalities. 2 different interest. 2 different life. It's exhausting once in a while. It's weird.
I will show them. I will. But I fear, I lack the strength. Fear of failure.
Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Hatred. Love.
What keeps One going? Not many knows.
What is that I desire so badly? Companions? Achievements? Enjoyment?
Is it the desire to Love, or be Loved ?
"I? I am a monument to all your sins.
This one is machine and nerve and has its mind concluded.
This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded.
There is much talk, and I have listened, through rock and metal and time. Now I shall talk, and you shall listen."
"Fate had us meet as foes, but this ring will make us brothers."
"...I have walked among men and angels for three thousand years. Time has no end... no beginning... no purpose.
I wander the earth, seeking forgiveness for my horrible crimes against God and man.
I live to see death, destruction, over the light, but the light cannot be extinguished.
I live in a prison of my own demise.
I am lost in time... (repeats)"
The Covenant fell from within. Betrayal. Mistrust. Conspiracy. Death.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Malaysia Trip 06
Somewhere around December 06, possibly around the 16th, Me and my family, family friends and some family friends' family went on a 4 day, 3 night to Malaysia.
Well I wasn't really thrilled bout this whole thing, cause of work (I actually got a little Addicted to work =.=) and some other,other reasons.
So it was Saturday morning, my uncle came to ferry my family and my cousins to the meeting point. Conincedentally, the meeting point, a hotel was named "Meridian Hotel". My JC of choice was Meridian JC LoL.
With only 1 hours plus of sleep, I surprised myself by not falling asleep til we reached Malaysia at 4~5pm+. I wonder why. Anyway, went there, meet up, bus came, went up the bus, went to 2nd Link: Tuas, stuck in a 2~3 hours Jam, on our way to K.L Malaysia.
For the trip, Uncle Xue Quan and his famliy came. To tell you the truth, I didnt expect them to come. Firstly, everyone just knew each other of like a few months. Secondly, I JUST didnt expect them to come. So yeah, WHATEVER LES SAYS, JX came too. Well she's pretty and so on, I noticed her, communicated a little. During the trip to K.L, there was a Jam at the 2nd link. To how big it is, I don't know cause during this whole time, I was at the 1st floor of the bus, in this room doing stuffs. Yes, the bus has 2 levels. The 1st floor is mainly for storage, and there's a small room for the kids. There were magazines, and I actually found Maxim SG there. Wow.
So during the trip there, the kids were playing cards while I listen to my MP3, lazing around. What surprised me was how well JX managed the kids. I think I lost my touch with kids, or maybe it's because they've all grown up. So yeah, that's during the ride to the 2nd link only. After that, most of us remained in our comfy seats on the 2nd level. There were TVs too! I watched a few shows, but it's because I was bored.
So when we reached our stop, Istana Hotel, it was bout' 4~5pm+. We'll suppose to have dinner at 6+, but oh well, the hotel room was VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE and COOL, so after watching some National Geographic Show bout Planes landing/flying vertically, I dozed off. So I was woke up by knocking on the doors by Josh. I was late for dinner and everyone was waiting for me. Dude this is bad. So anyway, the whole group went to Lot 1 Shopping mall for dinner. It was at some Food Court, but the choices are limited. So again, the guys will seat together to bullshit around, except Les was with his familt, my cousins with my bro, so me and Josh only.
So anyway after the dinner, we went to shop. Sadly, it was not Times Square, and the shopping mall we went to felt a little like City Plaza. That was this time curfew, and with me lacking $, I wasnt really into this shopping thingy, so I followed Josh/Les and their family. I wasnt particullarly interested in joining my family. It's dysfunctional and tiresome. So blah blah blah, the main draw is that, Malaysia has Xbox360!!!!!! Saw some nice clothes, tried some, bought some coffee, Josh attempted to smuggle/buy hair dye, but who knew that his mom bought him one first ?
So after that, went back to hotel, and "Sleep". I slept at 4.30am, cause Josh and Les wanted me to go over to discuss Maple Story. Guild names, IGNs etc. Talked til 3.30am LOL, and I took bout an hour to bath, cause the bathroom of Istana, was like MASSIVE. Not the biggest, but BIG. The whole bathing time, felt good.
The next day, LoL i cant recall much. Late for Breakfast, erm then.... some exploring of K.L, Petrona Towers, then it struck. STOMACHACHE =.= =.= =.=.
I rushed to the shopping mall located AT the Petrona Towers for toilet. Bad experience, horrible stomachache. But there's Kinokuniya there =D =D =D, and Golden Village. LOL? But anyway it was a short shopping trip, cause we had to leave for Colmar Tropicale later. Tragedy struck again. Sophia (Les's Sis) lost her Beanie. I think it's a HIGH probability that it's me or my dad who lost it. She was angry and cried. Wept. Something like that. It felt terrible to see a girl cry. But anyway matter's solved. Period. Later on.
So on the trip up to Colmar Tropicale (it's located near Genting), I was pissed and everyone could see that. I was listening to my MP3 attempting to cool down, but it was taking a freakinly long time. But weird enough, JX was sitting behind me. I felt better. More at ease. LoL.
So I'll make this short. The Hotel and it's surrounding have this Medival Castle/French village feeling (Afterall it's also called 法国村). My room was ok, toilet was ok. I played Bowling, archery, Paintball (I got a Blu-Black as a souvenior) and the arcade. There were 2 arcades, but they can improve. ALOT. Those machines are like 10 years old le.
So besides the lack of sleep for 4 days straight, the whole 4 day trip was cool. And being late for breakfast DOES pay off. The others have to wait for 10~20 mins for a seat. I just went in, took my own sweet time to take the food and just seat.
I can just say this whole Colmar Tropicale is big, and COLD ! I LIKE! The shuttle Bus has no doors de LOL ! We have to take shuttle bus to Bowling centre Etc LOL! THE WEATHER IS FREAKIN COOLL~!
During the trip back, I spent the entire time at that room in the bus. Well some other friends joined me, but it's weird though. JX was with us, and it's weird. I got this weird, weird feeling. I felt at ease, comfortable. Like I have no care/worries for anything else. It's a feeling, I felt like for the few times in my life. Wow. Funny, ironic.
That's all for today, LoL. Maybe I'll write more posts later.
Well I wasn't really thrilled bout this whole thing, cause of work (I actually got a little Addicted to work =.=) and some other,other reasons.
So it was Saturday morning, my uncle came to ferry my family and my cousins to the meeting point. Conincedentally, the meeting point, a hotel was named "Meridian Hotel". My JC of choice was Meridian JC LoL.
With only 1 hours plus of sleep, I surprised myself by not falling asleep til we reached Malaysia at 4~5pm+. I wonder why. Anyway, went there, meet up, bus came, went up the bus, went to 2nd Link: Tuas, stuck in a 2~3 hours Jam, on our way to K.L Malaysia.
For the trip, Uncle Xue Quan and his famliy came. To tell you the truth, I didnt expect them to come. Firstly, everyone just knew each other of like a few months. Secondly, I JUST didnt expect them to come. So yeah, WHATEVER LES SAYS, JX came too. Well she's pretty and so on, I noticed her, communicated a little. During the trip to K.L, there was a Jam at the 2nd link. To how big it is, I don't know cause during this whole time, I was at the 1st floor of the bus, in this room doing stuffs. Yes, the bus has 2 levels. The 1st floor is mainly for storage, and there's a small room for the kids. There were magazines, and I actually found Maxim SG there. Wow.
So during the trip there, the kids were playing cards while I listen to my MP3, lazing around. What surprised me was how well JX managed the kids. I think I lost my touch with kids, or maybe it's because they've all grown up. So yeah, that's during the ride to the 2nd link only. After that, most of us remained in our comfy seats on the 2nd level. There were TVs too! I watched a few shows, but it's because I was bored.
So when we reached our stop, Istana Hotel, it was bout' 4~5pm+. We'll suppose to have dinner at 6+, but oh well, the hotel room was VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE and COOL, so after watching some National Geographic Show bout Planes landing/flying vertically, I dozed off. So I was woke up by knocking on the doors by Josh. I was late for dinner and everyone was waiting for me. Dude this is bad. So anyway, the whole group went to Lot 1 Shopping mall for dinner. It was at some Food Court, but the choices are limited. So again, the guys will seat together to bullshit around, except Les was with his familt, my cousins with my bro, so me and Josh only.
So anyway after the dinner, we went to shop. Sadly, it was not Times Square, and the shopping mall we went to felt a little like City Plaza. That was this time curfew, and with me lacking $, I wasnt really into this shopping thingy, so I followed Josh/Les and their family. I wasnt particullarly interested in joining my family. It's dysfunctional and tiresome. So blah blah blah, the main draw is that, Malaysia has Xbox360!!!!!! Saw some nice clothes, tried some, bought some coffee, Josh attempted to smuggle/buy hair dye, but who knew that his mom bought him one first ?
So after that, went back to hotel, and "Sleep". I slept at 4.30am, cause Josh and Les wanted me to go over to discuss Maple Story. Guild names, IGNs etc. Talked til 3.30am LOL, and I took bout an hour to bath, cause the bathroom of Istana, was like MASSIVE. Not the biggest, but BIG. The whole bathing time, felt good.
The next day, LoL i cant recall much. Late for Breakfast, erm then.... some exploring of K.L, Petrona Towers, then it struck. STOMACHACHE =.= =.= =.=.
I rushed to the shopping mall located AT the Petrona Towers for toilet. Bad experience, horrible stomachache. But there's Kinokuniya there =D =D =D, and Golden Village. LOL? But anyway it was a short shopping trip, cause we had to leave for Colmar Tropicale later. Tragedy struck again. Sophia (Les's Sis) lost her Beanie. I think it's a HIGH probability that it's me or my dad who lost it. She was angry and cried. Wept. Something like that. It felt terrible to see a girl cry. But anyway matter's solved. Period. Later on.
So on the trip up to Colmar Tropicale (it's located near Genting), I was pissed and everyone could see that. I was listening to my MP3 attempting to cool down, but it was taking a freakinly long time. But weird enough, JX was sitting behind me. I felt better. More at ease. LoL.
So I'll make this short. The Hotel and it's surrounding have this Medival Castle/French village feeling (Afterall it's also called 法国村). My room was ok, toilet was ok. I played Bowling, archery, Paintball (I got a Blu-Black as a souvenior) and the arcade. There were 2 arcades, but they can improve. ALOT. Those machines are like 10 years old le.
So besides the lack of sleep for 4 days straight, the whole 4 day trip was cool. And being late for breakfast DOES pay off. The others have to wait for 10~20 mins for a seat. I just went in, took my own sweet time to take the food and just seat.
I can just say this whole Colmar Tropicale is big, and COLD ! I LIKE! The shuttle Bus has no doors de LOL ! We have to take shuttle bus to Bowling centre Etc LOL! THE WEATHER IS FREAKIN COOLL~!
During the trip back, I spent the entire time at that room in the bus. Well some other friends joined me, but it's weird though. JX was with us, and it's weird. I got this weird, weird feeling. I felt at ease, comfortable. Like I have no care/worries for anything else. It's a feeling, I felt like for the few times in my life. Wow. Funny, ironic.
That's all for today, LoL. Maybe I'll write more posts later.
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