It's Official. Grandpa passed away early this morning. I'll not cry (I think), cause we'll remember how he lived, and the lessons he taught (Some indirectly LoL). All we can hope for now, is that he and Grandma will be happy together when they meet high above in the heavens. It has been a while since they've been together, and they should smile more too!
I believe, Ah Gong missed Ah Ma, cause he seemed fatigued, and smiled less when she passed away 3 years back. Well, I do hope he's happy now.
And, Ah Gong, sorry for the troubles caused. I'll missed you. Although we dont speak often, but we do care for each other. I know, cause it's a undeniable fact.
My only regret, was the stupid decision to take a nap instead of rushing down to visit you yesterday. Now I dont have that chance anymore.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Walk by Faith, not by what you see
Today was totally busted, partially of the REACH meeting organized by the ever lovely SLC club(LOL), and also that I went home and collapse on the bed. Again.
So there's no work done. Still a unfinished PI due very soon, a Maths tutorial still untouched and also a Maths Lecture test still unrevised for. But still, I had fun in school today. I guess.
I had to drag myself up today, but thankfully it's a SATURDAY morning. The morning of School days just SUCK. And I just dont know why. With the horrible thought of "OMG I'm goonnaa be late~! 07S208 WILL BE DISGRACED! I'm SCREWED!", I just chionged all the way. Ok, walked fast only.
Reaching there, I found out that I'm the only retard wearing Jeans. Not that I want to, but I dumped my uniform for washing. But at least to be thankful, I'm not the only one wearing OGL shirt. I believe that lady to be JiHan? LoL I'm not good at remembering names. I didnt really expect to see so many people that I know to attend the meeting sia. And also, the SLC members were there too. I was stunned when I was scanning the room sia, I did not know what to DO! For she was there. I panicked and look away. LOL. Talk bout irony, dude...For yesterday I was like,"Wah so busy sia. And sleeping so early too! Puts me to shame T-T. But why? Aiyah cant be lah, I dont think I'll see her tmr in school.." But there she was lor.
Ok back to topic...Truthfully, I dont really recall the whole "training" I had today. I saved it somewhere in my brain. I recall...waiting for Satiya for A FREAKING LONG TIME for lunch, but only have him going home instead. So, there was no lunch. OK, here's the deal. That's not the main reason why I stayed back so long to ask him out for lunch, but...There was this group. I panicked. Maybe cause she always give that kind of look, maybe on purpose or not, but it makes me panic. Alot. Plus I was with Petrina and Hui Ling at that moment. And we're hanging around the side gate...And I think we looked gangly...But I'm scared that she may have the mis-conception of certain issues. After all I've heard people confusing me and Hui Ling as a couple. Yeah it's kinda true, cause We're Cousins. That's right. Cousins. But it's a fear for it really confuses me to know what she's really thinking. There are moments when I would like, hey, that she would just reject me. Feels draggy, and clinging on the "possibly non-existent" thread of hope does make my arms tired sia. For I've hanged that long.
Another piece of bad news. Apparently, my grandpa is in ICU again, and from how my mom phrased the whole thing, his condition is getting worse. And this is bad. I hope for the best, but logic differs. Have faith, this is what I always tell others. I dont like farewells. So that makes me a illogical person I guess. Though I may appear talkative, the truth is, which I just discover, is that I cannot convey my thoughts and feelings during conversations. It feels like a sin, for I had fun at the REACH meeting, while my grandpa is in the hospital fighting for his life. I waste time thinking bout gals, when I should concern for his condition. I didnt visit him today at all...I went to take a nap instead.
All I want now is to just wildly dance away. But I do not know how to LOL. Must be listening too much Dance music.
So there's no work done. Still a unfinished PI due very soon, a Maths tutorial still untouched and also a Maths Lecture test still unrevised for. But still, I had fun in school today. I guess.
I had to drag myself up today, but thankfully it's a SATURDAY morning. The morning of School days just SUCK. And I just dont know why. With the horrible thought of "OMG I'm goonnaa be late~! 07S208 WILL BE DISGRACED! I'm SCREWED!", I just chionged all the way. Ok, walked fast only.
Reaching there, I found out that I'm the only retard wearing Jeans. Not that I want to, but I dumped my uniform for washing. But at least to be thankful, I'm not the only one wearing OGL shirt. I believe that lady to be JiHan? LoL I'm not good at remembering names. I didnt really expect to see so many people that I know to attend the meeting sia. And also, the SLC members were there too. I was stunned when I was scanning the room sia, I did not know what to DO! For she was there. I panicked and look away. LOL. Talk bout irony, dude...For yesterday I was like,"Wah so busy sia. And sleeping so early too! Puts me to shame T-T. But why? Aiyah cant be lah, I dont think I'll see her tmr in school.." But there she was lor.
Ok back to topic...Truthfully, I dont really recall the whole "training" I had today. I saved it somewhere in my brain. I recall...waiting for Satiya for A FREAKING LONG TIME for lunch, but only have him going home instead. So, there was no lunch. OK, here's the deal. That's not the main reason why I stayed back so long to ask him out for lunch, but...There was this group. I panicked. Maybe cause she always give that kind of look, maybe on purpose or not, but it makes me panic. Alot. Plus I was with Petrina and Hui Ling at that moment. And we're hanging around the side gate...And I think we looked gangly...But I'm scared that she may have the mis-conception of certain issues. After all I've heard people confusing me and Hui Ling as a couple. Yeah it's kinda true, cause We're Cousins. That's right. Cousins. But it's a fear for it really confuses me to know what she's really thinking. There are moments when I would like, hey, that she would just reject me. Feels draggy, and clinging on the "possibly non-existent" thread of hope does make my arms tired sia. For I've hanged that long.
Another piece of bad news. Apparently, my grandpa is in ICU again, and from how my mom phrased the whole thing, his condition is getting worse. And this is bad. I hope for the best, but logic differs. Have faith, this is what I always tell others. I dont like farewells. So that makes me a illogical person I guess. Though I may appear talkative, the truth is, which I just discover, is that I cannot convey my thoughts and feelings during conversations. It feels like a sin, for I had fun at the REACH meeting, while my grandpa is in the hospital fighting for his life. I waste time thinking bout gals, when I should concern for his condition. I didnt visit him today at all...I went to take a nap instead.
All I want now is to just wildly dance away. But I do not know how to LOL. Must be listening too much Dance music.
Friday, April 20, 2007
WHEE~~~ Finally the weekend arrived.
This past week has been a short, but bloody painful one. I'm slowly slowly adapting to the Life In Meridian, just some minor adjustments to tweak. When I mean bloody painful, it's again related to "sleeping disorders", body system running wild and that ever, irritating neck-stiffness problem is back again. Makes my head twists like Techno.
But it's not only that. It's also bout the Virginia Tech Massacre, what can drive a man to such desperation, or to such insanity that a human, actually murdered 32 innocent beings. Apparently, something fueled him to such extent, that Cho Seung Hui planned this to every single detail. And the scariest thing? He held the belief that the killings were justified, and the only solution, even until the point when he sucided. It scares me, it reminds me of things.
From MSNBC.com:
"When criminologists and psychologists look at mass murders, Cho fits the themes they see repeatedly: a friendless figure, someone who has been bullied, someone who blames others and is bent on revenge, a careful planner, a male."
Just a day after the Virginia Tech Massacre, the mayor of Nagasaki, Japan was apparently gunned down by a rival from the Mafia. I guess this is an evidence of how sohpisticated societies, or People, can be.
Do you ever wonder why these happen? I don't know, but I do once in a while, and these events taught me to treasure everything. Everyone. Yeah including my Dear Brother(Who still holds the record of being able to piss me off at record time).But at such a huge cost. I guess it takes a hard knock to wake someone realise something eh?
The human mind, or perhaps the soul, can be so fragile, yet so strong at the same time. Is it the way we live? Or is it just pure will power? Or is it meant to be? These events made me look back down the path of my life. Those...images, like the ones I've seen from various episodes of Eva.
And all it takes is a smile to make others feel better. Laughter is good too~! But not strongly encouraged though, cause it really depends on how you laugh. So if Life is starting to suck, Smile more.
= We mourn for the Virginia Tech victims and the Mayor of Nagasaki. For their Lives ended abruptly and violently under the gun =
This past week has been a short, but bloody painful one. I'm slowly slowly adapting to the Life In Meridian, just some minor adjustments to tweak. When I mean bloody painful, it's again related to "sleeping disorders", body system running wild and that ever, irritating neck-stiffness problem is back again. Makes my head twists like Techno.
But it's not only that. It's also bout the Virginia Tech Massacre, what can drive a man to such desperation, or to such insanity that a human, actually murdered 32 innocent beings. Apparently, something fueled him to such extent, that Cho Seung Hui planned this to every single detail. And the scariest thing? He held the belief that the killings were justified, and the only solution, even until the point when he sucided. It scares me, it reminds me of things.
From MSNBC.com:
"When criminologists and psychologists look at mass murders, Cho fits the themes they see repeatedly: a friendless figure, someone who has been bullied, someone who blames others and is bent on revenge, a careful planner, a male."
Just a day after the Virginia Tech Massacre, the mayor of Nagasaki, Japan was apparently gunned down by a rival from the Mafia. I guess this is an evidence of how sohpisticated societies, or People, can be.
Do you ever wonder why these happen? I don't know, but I do once in a while, and these events taught me to treasure everything. Everyone. Yeah including my Dear Brother(Who still holds the record of being able to piss me off at record time).But at such a huge cost. I guess it takes a hard knock to wake someone realise something eh?
The human mind, or perhaps the soul, can be so fragile, yet so strong at the same time. Is it the way we live? Or is it just pure will power? Or is it meant to be? These events made me look back down the path of my life. Those...images, like the ones I've seen from various episodes of Eva.
And all it takes is a smile to make others feel better. Laughter is good too~! But not strongly encouraged though, cause it really depends on how you laugh. So if Life is starting to suck, Smile more.
= We mourn for the Virginia Tech victims and the Mayor of Nagasaki. For their Lives ended abruptly and violently under the gun =
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Emo Post. WHEE~ =P
These past recent weeks had been turbulent for me, for I've been thinking alot bout certain issues, which had been constantly on my mind, and also not to mention events which are slowly unfolding in front of my eyes.
Lies, and deceptions. Time and time again, I question myself of what is the "Truth". This whole "Truth and False" concept is getting more and more blurred, and I don't even know what to believe in anymore. I kinda get the feeling of seeing people around me wear masks which deceive people of their true self. Yeah I admit I do that sometimes, but to use it to distort facts, which resulted in people being hurt, and it involves irrational reasoning. It's part of human nature, I guess. So people, be rational, and never GO ONE BIG ROUND just to express something. Cause it's kinda irritating over the time.
Being neutral, I've forgotten the feeling of believing in something, well, cause I'm a very 2-sided guy I guess. I can hardly make any decisions cause, mentally, the 2 sides will always engaging in a eternal debate bout everything. Therefore, I always contradict myself. Often. I guess this is the flaw of being a Gemini LOL.
Recently, I've been avoiding certain issues. May be important, may be insignificance. I do not know. But I do know I'm running away. And it does not feel great. Neither are the sudden loss of breath, heart racing and the sense of mis-direction.
I survived Friday the 13th without incidents. Maybe it's due to the radiance of The Eternal Sunshine, which all evil are driven away~! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Adopted from Govin)
= stop walking, listen with your heart =
What does it truly mean? Oh yeah, so does the Evil Ice Cream Man LOL.
Lies, and deceptions. Time and time again, I question myself of what is the "Truth". This whole "Truth and False" concept is getting more and more blurred, and I don't even know what to believe in anymore. I kinda get the feeling of seeing people around me wear masks which deceive people of their true self. Yeah I admit I do that sometimes, but to use it to distort facts, which resulted in people being hurt, and it involves irrational reasoning. It's part of human nature, I guess. So people, be rational, and never GO ONE BIG ROUND just to express something. Cause it's kinda irritating over the time.
Being neutral, I've forgotten the feeling of believing in something, well, cause I'm a very 2-sided guy I guess. I can hardly make any decisions cause, mentally, the 2 sides will always engaging in a eternal debate bout everything. Therefore, I always contradict myself. Often. I guess this is the flaw of being a Gemini LOL.
Recently, I've been avoiding certain issues. May be important, may be insignificance. I do not know. But I do know I'm running away. And it does not feel great. Neither are the sudden loss of breath, heart racing and the sense of mis-direction.
I survived Friday the 13th without incidents. Maybe it's due to the radiance of The Eternal Sunshine, which all evil are driven away~! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Adopted from Govin)
= stop walking, listen with your heart =
What does it truly mean? Oh yeah, so does the Evil Ice Cream Man LOL.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Life's all bout Decisions.
I found out a few things today. I apparently developed a fear of the deep ends of pools, I give people the impression of a Hardcore Slacker, and that I hate growing up.
Growing up, in this modern society, seems painful. We're reared to serve as tools to strengthen the country or perhaps even Gears Of War. As my JC life continues, it's starting to surface its ugly side from it "Oh It's A WONDERFUL LIFE" mask. Today, I've made a hard and painful decision. I'm thinking of leaving Life Saving for Biz Club.
Firstly, I cant swim. Well. And Life Saving is bout swimming.
Secondly, I fear the deep end of the pool. Makes swimming harder.
Thirdly, if I go learn swimming, that's bout 3~4 times a week. And...I can't cope with my studies.
I dont know, I just feel bad to leave. Yeah, people may laugh at me for being weak, being a quitter etc, but...I think I know what I want. That is to be carefree. Apparently, Life forbids. Maybe it's just me, cause I dont know what I want. Or bout those things which I want, seems impossible to achieve... Imagine the horror, of not being able to accomplish anything, and these survive as regrets which will haunt you for as long as you live.
I saw this MSN nick, kinda intriguing.
= R.I.P to those who died waiting for the school bell to ring. =
Growing up, in this modern society, seems painful. We're reared to serve as tools to strengthen the country or perhaps even Gears Of War. As my JC life continues, it's starting to surface its ugly side from it "Oh It's A WONDERFUL LIFE" mask. Today, I've made a hard and painful decision. I'm thinking of leaving Life Saving for Biz Club.
Firstly, I cant swim. Well. And Life Saving is bout swimming.
Secondly, I fear the deep end of the pool. Makes swimming harder.
Thirdly, if I go learn swimming, that's bout 3~4 times a week. And...I can't cope with my studies.
I dont know, I just feel bad to leave. Yeah, people may laugh at me for being weak, being a quitter etc, but...I think I know what I want. That is to be carefree. Apparently, Life forbids. Maybe it's just me, cause I dont know what I want. Or bout those things which I want, seems impossible to achieve... Imagine the horror, of not being able to accomplish anything, and these survive as regrets which will haunt you for as long as you live.
I saw this MSN nick, kinda intriguing.
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