I'm 17. It's official.
My first birthday on a school day in years. Maybe it's my first.
I dont really wanna go to school, but duties call. I wanna slack hard on my birthday.
If I could turn back time...
The reason to start all anew, and the reason is you.
Bye sweet 16th. For the good memories remains to sooth the heart, and the bad memories as steps towards maturity. Somethings gone, can never be retrieved or relive. I guess.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Goodbye~ Sweet 16th. Welcome to adulthood.
Just bout 15 mins more to go, goodbye sweet 16th. Though I didnt get the chance to celebrate my last day as a 16 year old teen. Who would have known...MJC is such a pressure cooker.
The pressure is building up. It's not really bout the competition, it's not bout the politics, it's not bout school life. It's bout Reality. Welcome to a life with the fixed routine 7am - 7pm.
The chances of survial is slim, the light is dim. For the true horror of the power of Knowledge swarms you. With the high demand by MJC, I guess I'll have to MUG LIKE NO TOMORROW. Or...Retain? God knows.
I'm officially 17 tomorrow. I'm not too excited bout that. I just feel empty inside.
But will you be there to brighten up my day? Been wondering though.
The pressure is building up. It's not really bout the competition, it's not bout the politics, it's not bout school life. It's bout Reality. Welcome to a life with the fixed routine 7am - 7pm.
The chances of survial is slim, the light is dim. For the true horror of the power of Knowledge swarms you. With the high demand by MJC, I guess I'll have to MUG LIKE NO TOMORROW. Or...Retain? God knows.
I'm officially 17 tomorrow. I'm not too excited bout that. I just feel empty inside.
But will you be there to brighten up my day? Been wondering though.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Tell me, God, the truth. For your words are final.
This is getting bad, real bad.
My studies is getting nowhere, particularly that I dont know what the heck the subjects are saying, and also another undeniable fact. I cannot focus.
Oh I have seen the power of being able to focus. It's very scary cause it actually makes work easier! It's also scary cause I've seen myself getting focus. I look fierce, darn fierce.
Reasons to why I cant focus... let's just leave it with a messed up life for now. Disrupted sleeping patterns, like an example would be like I'm typing this post at 12.42am on a school day, after 3 hours of nap. I'm too freakin' tired to do work lor. Another factor would be, how can you focus when you're so caught up with verifying whether things that are true, things which are illusions. How sick it is to have friends to act all friendly and "normal" to you, when they seemed to be plotting or have something against you. Conspiracies? I do not know. But curiosity is driving me insane. WHAT IS THE TRUTH?! Who can I actually trust? Even some of my best pals seemed to be against me. Or maybe, I'm just going on a wild goose chase, which I seriously hope for.
Sometimes having thinking alot is potentially harmful to health. This would be a perfect example.
I really treasure and miss my secondary school days. For ignorance is bliss. It may be true, or untrue, but anyway, I've hidden myself under the cloak of the world of gaming during that time. Oh the world seemed prettier that time. A period of time when everything seemed so true.
It would seems that I do not understand God LoL. For I am unable to ingest Physics. I'm not the lawyer kind of guy, I guess. But I also find it hard to place my faith on someone, which I do not really know if the supreme being exists or not.
I was asked,:" Why didn't you take Bio?"
Hmm, I wonder. Would things be different if I've taken Bio? Sorry for the crappy answer though, cause I was stumped by your question, and... I was a little exhausted that day. But it was really a walk to remember.
My studies is getting nowhere, particularly that I dont know what the heck the subjects are saying, and also another undeniable fact. I cannot focus.
Oh I have seen the power of being able to focus. It's very scary cause it actually makes work easier! It's also scary cause I've seen myself getting focus. I look fierce, darn fierce.
Reasons to why I cant focus... let's just leave it with a messed up life for now. Disrupted sleeping patterns, like an example would be like I'm typing this post at 12.42am on a school day, after 3 hours of nap. I'm too freakin' tired to do work lor. Another factor would be, how can you focus when you're so caught up with verifying whether things that are true, things which are illusions. How sick it is to have friends to act all friendly and "normal" to you, when they seemed to be plotting or have something against you. Conspiracies? I do not know. But curiosity is driving me insane. WHAT IS THE TRUTH?! Who can I actually trust? Even some of my best pals seemed to be against me. Or maybe, I'm just going on a wild goose chase, which I seriously hope for.
Sometimes having thinking alot is potentially harmful to health. This would be a perfect example.
I really treasure and miss my secondary school days. For ignorance is bliss. It may be true, or untrue, but anyway, I've hidden myself under the cloak of the world of gaming during that time. Oh the world seemed prettier that time. A period of time when everything seemed so true.
It would seems that I do not understand God LoL. For I am unable to ingest Physics. I'm not the lawyer kind of guy, I guess. But I also find it hard to place my faith on someone, which I do not really know if the supreme being exists or not.
I was asked,:" Why didn't you take Bio?"
Hmm, I wonder. Would things be different if I've taken Bio? Sorry for the crappy answer though, cause I was stumped by your question, and... I was a little exhausted that day. But it was really a walk to remember.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Where the casualties of War teaches you appreciation.
My world is crashing down at a astoundingly fast rate, well with catalysts from both school life, and woefully, my home.
The war between me and Reality, and it seems Reality is winning. Not a good sign at all. I'm exhausted, scarred, and getting really, really restless.
That inner voice, wants to just burst out of me, and scream. I've heard it before, and it ain't human. Sorrow and anger. It bares its fangs, its eyes stares coldly at me. It has a humanoid shape, familiar, yet it seems so alien too. It's barbaric, violent, unpredictable. And it has a craving for something...
Being witty has its flaws, I guess. The images are so vivid, and they flash through my brain over and over again. It is starting to weaken over my control of that inner beast, which I fear is my other self. Sometimes I question where's my other Gemini half. It would seem that my question is answered. It's part of me, and I'm part of it. There seems to be clear, distinct differences, yet, there are no differences at all! Logical ? I'm not sure.
I, cant smile anymore. Let alone laugh. Cause there are so many things I'm starting to feel so revolting. Egos, back stabs, masks, and even girls gaining every opportunities just to touch a guy's body. Guys being nice isn't the excuse for them to stroke their bodies. Our reaction will determine to how we view you. Many, or perhaps some guys enjoy it, but nope. Not me. Overdoing it disgusts me. Seriously.
And well, home has become a living hell. Hell, isn't like what people viewed as fiery pits with little minions laughing manically. Hell, toys with your sanity. Hell, pushes you towards the point of mental instability. Hell, virtually rips your heart out.
Amidst the losing war, an angel appears from the heavens to the battlefield. Her radiance heals all wounds. Her smile dispels all worries. She spoke. But it's inaudible. What is it that you were trying to say? This mystery shaken the confidence of Man.
But one thing seems certain.
I'm gonna follow you through.
No matter the pain,
Through the darkness of this world if I must,
Cause you'll be there to shine the way.
Past the end of the future,
Won't let the weakness..
..Break down my soul.
= Your silence is mysterious, yet heart breaking. Your eyes speak of a beautiful tomorrow. Your elegance, grace, shows true beauty. Your funkiness is intriguing. Your laughter, is soothing. Your smile...Took my soul away. =
I hope it never changes.
In the confusion, and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire. - Taken from a friend
The war between me and Reality, and it seems Reality is winning. Not a good sign at all. I'm exhausted, scarred, and getting really, really restless.
That inner voice, wants to just burst out of me, and scream. I've heard it before, and it ain't human. Sorrow and anger. It bares its fangs, its eyes stares coldly at me. It has a humanoid shape, familiar, yet it seems so alien too. It's barbaric, violent, unpredictable. And it has a craving for something...
Being witty has its flaws, I guess. The images are so vivid, and they flash through my brain over and over again. It is starting to weaken over my control of that inner beast, which I fear is my other self. Sometimes I question where's my other Gemini half. It would seem that my question is answered. It's part of me, and I'm part of it. There seems to be clear, distinct differences, yet, there are no differences at all! Logical ? I'm not sure.
I, cant smile anymore. Let alone laugh. Cause there are so many things I'm starting to feel so revolting. Egos, back stabs, masks, and even girls gaining every opportunities just to touch a guy's body. Guys being nice isn't the excuse for them to stroke their bodies. Our reaction will determine to how we view you. Many, or perhaps some guys enjoy it, but nope. Not me. Overdoing it disgusts me. Seriously.
And well, home has become a living hell. Hell, isn't like what people viewed as fiery pits with little minions laughing manically. Hell, toys with your sanity. Hell, pushes you towards the point of mental instability. Hell, virtually rips your heart out.
Amidst the losing war, an angel appears from the heavens to the battlefield. Her radiance heals all wounds. Her smile dispels all worries. She spoke. But it's inaudible. What is it that you were trying to say? This mystery shaken the confidence of Man.
But one thing seems certain.
I'm gonna follow you through.
No matter the pain,
Through the darkness of this world if I must,
Cause you'll be there to shine the way.
Past the end of the future,
Won't let the weakness..
..Break down my soul.
= Your silence is mysterious, yet heart breaking. Your eyes speak of a beautiful tomorrow. Your elegance, grace, shows true beauty. Your funkiness is intriguing. Your laughter, is soothing. Your smile...Took my soul away. =
I hope it never changes.
You are my signal fire. - Taken from a friend
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The Weekly Update
It seems that I've underestimated the "Chiong rate" of MJC. I wont say Stress level, cause with relative to me, it will be SUPER high. Way of the charts. Enough said.
Ya know how scary it is to come home and unable to relax? Games, music, Tv, they dont really calm me down. Well, once in a while, the solace I find is from spacing out, and daydreaming.
Ah, daydreams. I havent been doing much of that since coming to JC. These dreams, are becoming more and more abstract recently, and sometimes, the same scenes just repeat over and over again. There're good and bad ones, but well, I guess it cant be avoided. But, the bad ones outweigh the good ones. That's for so now. Just give me a break. A LONG one, maybe a week or something without studies or cca related stuffs, and I can safely assure myself, that it will tip back to normal levels. Just like my secondary school days... Where slacking isnt a sin.
Aside with the shitty craps. I've loads of fun to~!
- I went to Benji's house! And man, it was beautiful. But the best of all, we got to play Halo 2. On fullscreen! How would ya beat that? But...I didnt mean to thrash them or what, but well, I'm more experienced I guess. LoL. And the best part? We played Kung Fu Chaos. Bloody hell, they dont sell it anywhere anymore. But anyway, Benji and Leon totally owned us. That game was so exciting, that I continued button meshed even though my character died. LoL. After the whole party ended, Eugene's dad brought me and Leon back home, how sweet, and Thanks alot~!
- I went to an event called "International Understanding Night" held at TPJC. Well, CK invited us over, and I'm curious to how TPJC looked (cause I didnt manage to crash TP during the 1st 3 months afterall...), so I just went lor. The whole performance was ok, but for the modern dance, I hate to say this but...The dance was too artistic. Guys wearing briefs. Awkward actions. I laughed. At the end of that performance. And man did I laughed til I got stitches. Cause of something what Den said, then for magical reason I laughed uncontrollably. No offence though.
And for the first time. The reception was good~~
- Saturday was fun, yet painful. Firstly, I didnt sleep early on Fri, and I gotta wake up damn early to get some Syrups from an office located at Bukit Batok. And the trip there via 506 cost me $2.31...And it's my first time doing this, having the Boss promoting his products to me and giving me his name card. And the 3 bottles are made of glass~! So imagine the horror of carrying it back from Juront East MRT to Pasir Ris MRT. I doze off on my way there, I guess I'm poofed. After storing the syrups there, sampling some garlic bread, I chionged back to Bedok Reservoir to meet up with Rice. We're suppose to go for inoculation in the morning, but oh well. The ironic thing is, most clinics closed at 12pm, and we went all the way to Bedok just to get inoculated. Stupid, but intriguing.
Later in the night, my mom suddenly suggested going to East Point for shopping and dinner. It was refreshing to just go out and unwind. It felt great. But the arcade sucked. I'm suppose to pay $5 for a card just to play DDR, which only costs bout $0.50? JEEZZ. Oh yeah, I met CK on the way, and yes, I wore the shirt for 2 days. But there wasnt any SMELL what. Makes my life easier.
- Happy Birthday to Kathy~! You just have to remind me that mine is drawing near Haiz
- Thanks to Hiqmah, MY FELLOW GEMINI~! For lending an ear. Woah to just talk seriously like that feels WONDERFUL~! Wish me luck. And thanks for that message :
Smile and acknowledge. Show that you care
Ya know how scary it is to come home and unable to relax? Games, music, Tv, they dont really calm me down. Well, once in a while, the solace I find is from spacing out, and daydreaming.
Ah, daydreams. I havent been doing much of that since coming to JC. These dreams, are becoming more and more abstract recently, and sometimes, the same scenes just repeat over and over again. There're good and bad ones, but well, I guess it cant be avoided. But, the bad ones outweigh the good ones. That's for so now. Just give me a break. A LONG one, maybe a week or something without studies or cca related stuffs, and I can safely assure myself, that it will tip back to normal levels. Just like my secondary school days... Where slacking isnt a sin.
Aside with the shitty craps. I've loads of fun to~!
- I went to Benji's house! And man, it was beautiful. But the best of all, we got to play Halo 2. On fullscreen! How would ya beat that? But...I didnt mean to thrash them or what, but well, I'm more experienced I guess. LoL. And the best part? We played Kung Fu Chaos. Bloody hell, they dont sell it anywhere anymore. But anyway, Benji and Leon totally owned us. That game was so exciting, that I continued button meshed even though my character died. LoL. After the whole party ended, Eugene's dad brought me and Leon back home, how sweet, and Thanks alot~!
- I went to an event called "International Understanding Night" held at TPJC. Well, CK invited us over, and I'm curious to how TPJC looked (cause I didnt manage to crash TP during the 1st 3 months afterall...), so I just went lor. The whole performance was ok, but for the modern dance, I hate to say this but...The dance was too artistic. Guys wearing briefs. Awkward actions. I laughed. At the end of that performance. And man did I laughed til I got stitches. Cause of something what Den said, then for magical reason I laughed uncontrollably. No offence though.
And for the first time. The reception was good~~
- Saturday was fun, yet painful. Firstly, I didnt sleep early on Fri, and I gotta wake up damn early to get some Syrups from an office located at Bukit Batok. And the trip there via 506 cost me $2.31...And it's my first time doing this, having the Boss promoting his products to me and giving me his name card. And the 3 bottles are made of glass~! So imagine the horror of carrying it back from Juront East MRT to Pasir Ris MRT. I doze off on my way there, I guess I'm poofed. After storing the syrups there, sampling some garlic bread, I chionged back to Bedok Reservoir to meet up with Rice. We're suppose to go for inoculation in the morning, but oh well. The ironic thing is, most clinics closed at 12pm, and we went all the way to Bedok just to get inoculated. Stupid, but intriguing.
Later in the night, my mom suddenly suggested going to East Point for shopping and dinner. It was refreshing to just go out and unwind. It felt great. But the arcade sucked. I'm suppose to pay $5 for a card just to play DDR, which only costs bout $0.50? JEEZZ. Oh yeah, I met CK on the way, and yes, I wore the shirt for 2 days. But there wasnt any SMELL what. Makes my life easier.
- Happy Birthday to Kathy~! You just have to remind me that mine is drawing near Haiz
- Thanks to Hiqmah, MY FELLOW GEMINI~! For lending an ear. Woah to just talk seriously like that feels WONDERFUL~! Wish me luck. And thanks for that message :
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)