I don't always fall in love, but when I do...

Just a few days into a new year, I've rejoined the ranks of the ForeverAlones.

Not that she and I were officially together in a sense, but we were dating.
I never knew how she viewed our relationship.
Not that I'd ever know,
Since she is calling an end to it.

Two weeks
That was all it took for things between us to deteriorate.
We are strangers to each other now.

There were never any warning signs.
All the time we spent together
And before she returned back to the states,
Things seemed fine.
Or I was wrong?

During the two weeks when we were apart,
Things between us just fell apart.
I do not know what things or events back home influenced her to make such decision
But I could see that she had made up her mind.

I could read and sense all those signs.

But being depressed, I'd say,
Gives you an uncanny ability to sense the emotions of others.

Did she really think that I'm that stupid to not sense things weren't right?

I feel so angry.
Betrayed.
That she did not discussed matters with me before taking them to her own hand.

I trusted her too much.
And she did warn me
"Don't trust me that easily."
I feel hate.
For giving her my trust.

All the things we've done together.
All for naught.
Everything seems to be a big fat joke.

If she wants to end it
Please end it fast.
Don't drag it and make it painful for me.
At least I could get on with life.
If I had one.

Maybe it was a mistake that we got together in the first place.
My mistake.

And with this, my only reason of why I chose to stay in hall for a second year
Just went away.

It's been a while.

Let your past make you better, not bitter.

That was what I shared with friends.
But I'm a hypocrite.
I don't practise what I've said.

Drifting aimlessly,
Wondering what, I wonder.
That I have sunk too deep in despair, hate and anger?
Or haunted by the ghosts of my past?

I see it in my eyes.
Exhaustion. From running away.
Emptiness. By denying who I was.

It's been a long and tiring battle, but I have no intention of losing.
You may have won this battle, but not the war.

Hopefully.

The Caption says it All

Well, here's a quick wish wishing my friends taking their O levels this year All The Best.
I vaguely recall it starts next week, but I doubt I'll come online next week, so I'll make do with an early wish.
By the way to XN, I admit I've forgetten that O level was coming lol =X
Anyway do wish Vince and Suyi All The Best too for me.
I wonder if they still remember me LoL.

And all the best for me for the 'A's. =3

Believe in Me, Who Believes in You (all)~!
(P.S Had to do the Kamina Reference)

It's really Stamina Draining.
Chem, Physics, Math, GP and especially Econs.
The last 3 weeks or so seem like a Marathon to me.

I'm more of a short distance sprinter, not a Marathon runner.

Jia Lat.

It's only 27 days away from the "A'" Levels,
Yet I'm not allocating my time efficiently for studying.
Studying is so hard,
Especially when there're so many anime(s) released recently,
And the Highly Anticipated Games which are bout' to be released in just a month's time.

My Eccentric Perceptions of Everything can only be matched by My Laziness.

Breaking Silence

Sometimes I just cant understand,
What in the world my parents are saying (or yakking in some cases)
They can appear to be "supportive",
But in the next moment,
They undergo a 360 degree change
to become a devastating weapon firing [sarcastic, doubtful, insulting...] comments faster then you can say :"What in the F**king World..?!"

Stinking Hypocrites.
Make up your minds.
That is why sometimes I'll say,:
"How to you have Faith in yourself, when even those who're suppose to be close to you dont believe in you?"

Faith, or confidence dont just appear out of nowhere,
but can only be given by others.
That is unless you choose to lie to yourself or have a bloody huge Ego.

I assume, that my Parents undergo such "drastic" changes with regards to my stagnating results (My results cant get any worse LAWL),
And I'm not taking much actions to salvage this situation.
People will say:
"Prove your Parents wrong with your actions [Lah]!"
But I'll say:
"It's my life, so why should I dictate my actions to meet their expectation?"
"I decide my Life."

Parent are not perfect creatures.
But this does not absolve them from all the (stupid) mistakes they've committed.
Sure my parents shower me with Love and Care through certain "actions"
But that's not what I want.
They do not have the slightest hint to what I really want.
I Smile, Joke , be Nice and keep my Silence,
But that does not mean I have Forgiven.

I condemn those who restrict my Freedom.

= o.O = Confession of a Zombiefied Soul = O.o =

The Prelims are comin' and I don't even feel a slight boost in confidence, let alone feel prepared for the upcoming papers.

It's possible that I'll expect mostly U(s) again, followed by Frowny Faces and the constant echoing of "EPIC FAILURE" in the deep bowels of my mind.
Ironically, when I see the letter U, I'm always reminded of a smiley face.

Constantly drowned in Confusion,
The mind is unable to comprehend the bits and pieces of Life,
[Friendship, Family, Bonds, Relationships~]
Let alone being able to fully assimilate and comprehend the vastness knowledge,
something which I shake my head in Regret.

The pursuing of Absolute Knowledge is akin to understanding the Mind of God =3