My will is not of my own, but that's all right.

The Caption says it All

2008-10-17T00:26:00.004+08:00

Well, here's a quick wish wishing my friends taking their O levels this year All The Best.
I vaguely recall it starts next week, but I doubt I'll come online next week, so I'll make do with an early wish.
By the way to XN, I admit I've forgetten that O level was coming lol =X
Anyway do wish Vince and Suyi All The Best too for me.
I wonder if they still remember me LoL.

And all the best for me for the 'A's. =3

Believe in Me, Who Believes in You (all)~!
(P.S Had to do the Kamina Reference)

2008-10-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

It's really Stamina Draining.
Chem, Physics, Math, GP and especially Econs.
The last 3 weeks or so seem like a Marathon to me.

I'm more of a short distance sprinter, not a Marathon runner.

Jia Lat.

2008-10-07T01:38:00.002+08:00

It's only 27 days away from the "A'" Levels,
Yet I'm not allocating my time efficiently for studying.
Studying is so hard,
Especially when there're so many anime(s) released recently,
And the Highly Anticipated Games which are bout' to be released in just a month's time.

My Eccentric Perceptions of Everything can only be matched by My Laziness.

Breaking Silence

2008-09-24T00:57:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I just cant understand,
What in the world my parents are saying (or yakking in some cases)
They can appear to be "supportive",
But in the next moment,
They undergo a 360 degree change
to become a devastating weapon firing [sarcastic, doubtful, insulting...] comments faster then you can say :"What in the F**king World..?!"

Stinking Hypocrites.
Make up your minds.
That is why sometimes I'll say,:
"How to you have Faith in yourself, when even those who're suppose to be close to you dont believe in you?"

Faith, or confidence dont just appear out of nowhere,
but can only be given by others.
That is unless you choose to lie to yourself or have a bloody huge Ego.

I assume, that my Parents undergo such "drastic" changes with regards to my stagnating results (My results cant get any worse LAWL),
And I'm not taking much actions to salvage this situation.
People will say:
"Prove your Parents wrong with your actions [Lah]!"
But I'll say:
"It's my life, so why should I dictate my actions to meet their expectation?"
"I decide my Life."

Parent are not perfect creatures.
But this does not absolve them from all the (stupid) mistakes they've committed.
Sure my parents shower me with Love and Care through certain "actions"
But that's not what I want.
They do not have the slightest hint to what I really want.
I Smile, Joke , be Nice and keep my Silence,
But that does not mean I have Forgiven.

I condemn those who restrict my Freedom.

= o.O = Confession of a Zombiefied Soul = O.o =

2008-09-06T01:19:00.006+08:00

The Prelims are comin' and I don't even feel a slight boost in confidence, let alone feel prepared for the upcoming papers.

It's possible that I'll expect mostly U(s) again, followed by Frowny Faces and the constant echoing of "EPIC FAILURE" in the deep bowels of my mind.
Ironically, when I see the letter U, I'm always reminded of a smiley face.

Constantly drowned in Confusion,
The mind is unable to comprehend the bits and pieces of Life,
[Friendship, Family, Bonds, Relationships~]
Let alone being able to fully assimilate and comprehend the vastness knowledge,
something which I shake my head in Regret.

The pursuing of Absolute Knowledge is akin to understanding the Mind of God =3

It's a long long good-bye

2008-08-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

My Resolution:

I will move on.
I will stop wallowing in Self Pity.
I will work harder.

I must be selfish.
Cause trying to live to everyone's expectations
Is so frustrating.

Being different is not a Sin.
It's just that people seldom understand.

2008-08-01T00:07:00.002+08:00

There's a little Dan Jansen in all of us.

You may fall down alot of time in the journey of Life,
And sometimes it's not good enough,
To just get up and continue running.
Especially when running in circles,
Cause you'll be forever trapped in the same spot,
Never to improve,
Doomed to fail.
Be different,
Run straight 0.o
That's when you'll truly see,
The difference
The results
The Answers

What's written above was what our Principal shared with us yesterday.
Heros have their fair share of Epic Failures.

Believe

2008-07-20T02:00:00.002+08:00

Me think me found Motivation.
Let's hope it last.

And it came from somewhere really unexpected.

2008-07-05T04:01:00.002+08:00

I know BW will verbally torture me if he happened to chance upon this post, but I'll risk it anyway.

Apparently amongst the very, very random conversations I had with my friends over lunch yesterday, I was told by Jas that some girl actually admired me. I was surprised and a little sceptic when I heard it, but the reactions (Hint:Sarcasm) from the dear BW and his partner in crime, which I would name here as V, was an Overkill. Well it sort of brighten my day a little, for I don't get to hear compliments like this often. In fact, the things I usually hear are sarcastic remarks made to me by perpetrators who don't even make any effort to conceal their identities. Oh well, maybe it's cause they don't feel the need to, and the reason behind these? I'm nice, and perhaps easy to bully lol.

If I were God, it would be a Sin to be Nice =3

Anyway,
Since there's someone out there who admires such a klutz like me,
There's a very, very high probability that you, the superior one, have people admiring you in this vast universe.
Perhaps they might even harbour feelings for you LoL.

This is a Game of [Concentration]

2008-06-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

Studies is like a Game of Concentration,
Concentration which requires Focus, Discipline, Control.
The 3 vital conditions which I lack;
to grant me the "uber-gayness concentration" in to ace my studies.

Mid Years, like Death;
its arrival is inevitable.
Cold like Winter , Merciless like the Flow of Time,
Even the strongest Soul quiver at the mere mention of its name.
Yet I still sit here typing,
disregarding the fact I shall face it tomorrow.

If Mid Years existed as a person,
I would probably just looked straight into its eyes and laugh:
"LOL~! Sorry, just wanted to have a kick of saying that to you in the face"

Ok I'm Lazy.
Take "Lazy" and multiply it by several folds,
that's the level of Laziness which I possess alone.
Seems like I'm not alone in this family.
My sister is still doing her Chinese homework, 10 pages long, as I type.

Marked For Death? o.O~!

2008-05-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

Apparently, the lack of adequate rest has led to my thought process to be retarded, actions stupefied and a loss in sense of time and direction.

On two occasions, I was THAT close to being knocked down by a medium size truck and a van respectively.

On the first occasion, while crossing the road when the Green Man was still brightly lit on the traffic light and not flashing, a bloody truck, which was obviously speeding, almost failed to stop at the road junction. Well, almost, until the truck driver suddenly saw me strolling across the road and then braked suddenly.

The truck was like, 1m away from me and I swear that I felt a sudden gush of wind rushing at me when that truck braked suddenly. Even the people in the nearby bus stop gasped. But strangely, I felt nothing. I stared at the truck blankly for a while and continued towards the other side of the road. It is only when I saw some reactions from several people in the bus stop then I realized that I was so close to getting involved in an accident. In fact, I had to actually remind myself that I am suppose to feel shaken bout the near accident earlier.

The other occasion happened near to where I'm currently staying at. The particular traffic light which I usually use has the habit of changing from green to red man at a very, very fast pace. I was only 3/4 across the road when the green man turned red, but I didnt take notice of that. At this moment, a van almost came into contact with me. It was so close, I could actually see the driver and the passenger pressing against the window LoL. This is when I noticed that the traffic light has gone green, and apparently, after walking for several steps, then I realize that I felt nothing. No skip in heartbeat. I had to remind myself again that I was suppose to feel shaken due to the near brush with the Grim Reaper.

Hmm. Losing sleep = Losing it? A possible hypothesis.

Christian "Latin"

2008-04-04T20:57:00.007+08:00

Sometimes when people try to get close to me,
I'll shun them away.

But when I try to get close to somebody,
why do I find myself shunning that person away from me?

"Maybe I'm not ready.
Maybe I'm just not worthy of the Queen.
Maybe I'm thinking of too much excuses to take any actions."

2 possible choices to decide from. And I cant, for Hell, decide.

It's not that I got a phobia of making decisions,
It's just that, I fear the consequences which come after them.
Some of their effects can be felt for life.

But that's not the problem.
The mind's in a whirl, everything's messed up
Doubts. Uncertainties. Dilemma.
They run amok in my Mind.

"What's in your mind?
Do you mind sharing?
I know I may be noisy,
but when I listen,
I'll jolly do well to listen intently,
with my heart,
because you're the one talking."

"I'm a little different from the guy you percieved me as."

Well, everybody changed. So have I.
But is it for the better?
Even I do not possess the answer.

How bout you? Do you have the answer I seek?

Bestow me Strength, Courage and A Will of My Own

Termination

2008-03-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

Hmm.
I'm tempted to close this blog down.
Hmm~ Temptation.

2008-03-15T21:23:00.002+08:00

Happened to chance upon them in Azi's blog while wasting time.

LoL. I'm almost a saint -.-

I can't make it through without a way back into...

2008-02-12T20:27:00.000+08:00

Hmm. There're somethings that is distracting me from my daily activities in life.
Somethings which weigh heavily in my mind.
Things which distract me from my studies.
Simple, linear tasks which would seem idiot proof by my standards in the past, suddenly becomes tedious and mind boggling to complete.

Silly, perhaps laughable mistakes which I should or would not have committed when I'm mentally sane, confident or joyful, keep appearing recently. Errors which I would rarely allow to occur on purpose keep appearing before my very eyes, even though I didnt plan for them to happen.

A sudden loss in insight, a rapid decline in the ability to grapse basic logical concepts, the apparent dip in memory, and finally, irregular sleeping habits. All of which can only be the symptoms of... Something. I dont really know what is that illness/disease/disability or whatsoever it's called.

If only I could come to terms with them.

Jack, save yourself.
Afterall, you did survive through this once.

Sepia

2008-02-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

Hmm, 3rd post into the year 2008.

There's so many things running amok in my mind,
which I would like to say, ask or share,
but it's a mystery to me to why everytime I touch the keyboard,
staring blankly into the computer screen,
wondering,
"Hey, what was that I wanted to blog about?"

A case of Alzheimer's disease? Maybe.
A case of "OMG I'm TOO Stressed to think of any Nonsense"? Perhaps.
Or..

I'm just going to stay quiet now. =X
LoL.

Well, there's a small possibility that after losing my guiding light, I've been wandering aimlessly seeking for the lost light. It's similar to addiction, and I know it. I dont need anyone else to point it out blankly at my face. So what if I still yearn for it? I....

A HedgeHog's Dilema.

2008-01-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

Stressed.Doubly Stressed. Bloody Stressed.

Yes, yes, this is another post detailing how Daily Life sucks (Especially for me and I really wonder why).

I'm starting to hate myself for taking so much responsibility, though I had ample warnings from my MJ seniors, and I still regret for not withdrawing.

So the question is : Should I withdraw now, and leave everything as it is for now?

But it's not one, but numerous questions which constantly flash in my mind.

"Am I Stupid?"
"Am I useless?"
"Am I different?"
"Why can the others can away when they're in fault? Why do I have to suffer in their place?"
"Why humans are so superficial?"
"Why are some people so rotten and disgusting inside, and yet they're treated like Gems?"
"Who am I really?"

Horrible questions which poisons the mind. I believe I'm tad close to being insane. And I know I'm gonna be in some teachers's naughty list for "not listening" in classes. I know I'm weird. And things does not help, or improve, when you have people who claims to be friends but make every attempt to make you feel even more rotten, more depressed, more... silent.

I guess,
This is why my eyesight seems to be worsening;
This world is becoming too Hideous for me to view.

My hearing declining ever rapidly;
This world has lost its music. What is left is noise and static.

My speech losing clarity and difficulty in expressing;
What's left to talk when no one listens?

I want my life back.

Looking for Lost ZZZs | Sounds like Z, Looks like Z, Comes in Triplets | Offering $ as Reward

2008-01-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been "pre-occupied" for this past few months, and I shall remain in this state for God Knows How Long~, so I'll start off 2008's first post with this.

"BLOODY HELL, LIFE SUCKS. For now"

LOL. Sorry for the crude language above, but I had to vent these frustrations somewhere. I'm never good with destressing, cause I can rarely find things to keep me amuse, or satisfy me, so... Yeah, I suck at destressing. Not to mention sleep and Fun deprived. I miss spacing out, I miss doodling, I miss daydreaming, I miss napping, I miss my 13hr sleep Marathon too. I miss a hell lot of stuffs.

Anyway, at least I'm adapting better to the *AHEM* "Harsh" MJC, I learned how to at least do your homework with a 3/4 cooked brain, bloodshot burning hot eyes and also head splitting headaches which seems to plague me since Christmas 2007. Let's hope that my personal health wont go down anymore. Personally with a "strong" imagination, I can picture myself looking *@#&$^%*@^&$&@*@&#$* in the near future.

God knows how many more months are left to the bloody A levels, but it seems like Armageddon to me. The Judgement day for all JC students to determine if they are worthy of entering Universities or not, with the latter meaning you're as good as dead; Screwed. Haiz, let me do a mini checklist on my studies:

H2 Maths ; Shaky - Checked
H2 Chem ; Cannot make it - Checked
H2 Physics; Never had a chance - Checked
H1 Econs ; I lack Common Sense - Checked

Yep. A levels now seems like a galaxy away from me (Go figure how far is that o.O!), and I need luck. Lots and lots of it. Apparently I've used up mine during last year's Promos. LoL, first and foremost, a Thank You of HUMONGOUS Proportion to Ms Gladys from Miranda 2 for offering to give luck to me for free, but as of now I have yet to receive any =X

= I wanna play Pool | Billiard =

Ang Mohs bully old trishaw rider

2007-10-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

My God.

I just read this article and also saw the video.
Both were bout' 3 Caucasians bullying this old trishaw rider.
Ok maybe not 3, but 2 of the 3 Caucasians.
But to bully an elder who's like 3 times, or even 4 times your age..
That is unpardonable. In fact, I bet The Whole Singapore Population cannot condone such *retarded* actions.

I mean,
Just listen to what the Heck they're saying over the video:

"2 mph? I can walk faster than this!"
- Well, the dear Trishaw rider is an old folk, and the combined weight of those 3 "AngMohs" is bout 200+Kg. And again, the old rider ain't no superman, he cant just zoom across Singapore.

"$10?! Out of your ***ing head!"
- Well, it may be expensive, but there's no need to make such crude comment. Not to mention you guys were sniggering, making sarcastic remark bout' the old rider. And also the "We got robbed, so we'll give you $5!" part.

I only got this to say:
"SPUT OFF. Insulting your elders is a unforgivable sin. Posting the video of how you guys make fun of the rider on YouTube is literally the purchasing of a One Way Ticket straight to Hell. And grow up. Pardon me for the inappropriate language used."

Well, again,
My God.
This is such a sad incident.

Intrusion has been logged.

2007-10-27T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm.
Apparently, I've grown accustomed to depriving myself from sleep.
Regardless how tired I am,
I refuse to sleep early. Early as in before 12am just for your info.

So, my apparent "Blurness" is attributed to sleep deprivation.
Now, I'm not acting Blur. I'm seriously blur.
And I think I'm over reacting. It's like the Geek Alarm as gone wild.

And to also further complicate matters, the Holiday season, which is a mere 2 months long, is packed with my J1 revisions, CCA and OGL related stuffs.

Jia Lat liao seh.

I must really, really, really learn to manage time properly.
Time is a luxury which I cannot afford. God has not granted me this right.

[| Stop punishing yourself. Stop it. |]

lolololololllololololol

2007-10-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

LoL.

I'm going Nuts.
And this is obvious for I actually blogged for the past few days.
My mind is undergoing multiple waves of sieges
By not One, by Two adversaries.

Holy Holy Holy.

My senses are growing dull.
Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth, Touch.
My brain is going numb.
I cant even synthesize a speech properly.
Let alone piece a series of logical thoughts.

Will I ever have a decent break?
Nah. Hard to say for now.

Life's little mystery

2007-10-23T22:52:00.001+08:00

What the Shit.

Sleep Deprivation leads to :

- Impairing of the immune system
- Impairing brain processes such as learning and memory
- Dramatically overreact to bad experiences

So Emotions run Amok.
People go insane.
The Grim Reaper is coming closer and closer.
Soon we'll feel his breath on our neck.

Are things that simple?
Have a good night sleep and everything will go well?
Prove it.

Reference:
Yahoo News (2007) :
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071022/sc_livescience/emotionsrunamokinsleepdeprivedbrains
Livescience (2007) :
http://www.livescience.com/mysteries/070109_sleep.html

A Compound Mind.

2007-10-23T01:07:00.000+08:00

Help.

I'm mentally exhausted.
I'm going hysterical.
I'm feeling nauseous bout everything.
Why is life so unfair?

Please make my life a colourful one.
I'm sick of it being Black and White everyday.
Where has the music gone to?
All I hear now are noises.
I want the melodies to return.

Exorcise the Demons which filthied our precious earth,
Banish them back to where they belong - The Shadows
May their presence never be felt again.

Where's the sun and the moon?
I miss their warmth and beauty.
Wait, right. They disappeared.

These are all orchestrated by it:
The Phantom.
In my mind.
Get. Out. Of. My. Our. Mind(s).
I. We. Dont need you.

Like A Summer SunShine

2007-10-01T02:05:00.000+08:00

The Promos are all over,
Halo 3 completed. Twice.
CCA meetings and projects are once again reinstated.

Time flies.

10 months have past so swiftly.

For the first time of my life.
I despise sleeping.
I fear emptiness. I despise voidness.
And I wonder the reasons why.

Hmm.
I think I have a new interest in : Expressionism.
Just an interest to toy around.

Anyway, I finally got the answer to a question which I asked almost a year back.
But, the answer seemed obvious to me.
But I chose Optimism, and yet Optimism can backfire in certain cases.
Thankfully I expected such outcome.
The blow was softened.

But still, I appreciate the given answer.
I can learn and grow.
I can be a better man.

These are what make Life more colourful and enriching.
And this is what keeps me entertained.
I dont want to miss out anything.

But still, it wont hurt to have someone to share it with.

The Looming Shadow

2007-09-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

Act One :

Panic begins to set in.
The Heart pumps with increasing acceleration.

Act Two :

Anxiety and Fear strikes.
The Mind braces itself for impact.
The Body shivers.

Act Three :

Temporal mental instability kicks in.
Hallucinations are present everywhere.

Final Act :

Stress reaches critical levels.
The Promos has arrived.

May the Promos go well for all.

The Impending Genocide

2007-09-22T02:44:00.001+08:00

When the starts of the P.R.O.M.O. Exams drawing near, it is inevitable that people will feel anxiety, fear, stress. And so on.

But all these tension bout the Promo Exams are somewhat of the scale :

It actually feels like the impending exam spells doom for the whole of mankind, and everyone is grieving.

And this is the first time in my short 17 years, that I actually see such an atmosphere. Well, I personally believe that this will not be the last time I'll be seeing such an ambience.

The mood before the exam is hazardously infectious.
One cant help but to feel depress.
But the magnitude of depression varies for each and everyone.

I've heard numerous stories which prophesied people with the capability to get promoted to J2 being retained.

I've to say that it's absolute nonsense. Have a little faith in yourself people~!

Have faith, don't be deluded. And believe.
________________________________________________________

A silent prayer for all my College friends.
May everyone get promoted and be enlightened on the importance of the A level exams.
May everyone remain healthy and cheerful, for their moods influence my day.

And an additional prayer for you : Shine on. Smile beautifully for eternity.

Dangyunhaji

2007-09-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

Who've expected that Silence is able to simply debunk everything I've believed in.

Who would have known that Silence is able to make you feel Regret? Sorrow? Guilt? Anxiety?

You never gave me an verbal answer.
Though your actions had seem to answer my question to you.

You made me question my values. My Worth. My Character.
It's kinda degrading ya know?
Not to at least a clear cut answer.
But I dont blame you.
I'm plagued by insecurities for a very, very long time. It's a matter or personal perception.

It has been decided that this shall come to a standstill.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'm gonna learn Lee Jong Soo's eagle-eyed mode.
I'm gonna search for my lost wittiness.
I'm gonna let go - But never fully.
Cause it's through this that I learn.

A Pang of Guilt

2007-09-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

Something happened abruptly last Thursday.
Something which no one expected to happen.
Something which is totally unpredictable.

A Male Teacher Wept.

All this while he worried most for the 27 students of 07S208, but his care towards his students went unappreciated. Students still led life like nothing else in the world mattered, when in reality, their failures during the Promos examination may cost them their bright future. He worries,

He bought cookies and chocolate bars for the "improving" students,
but yet he could not keep his grief. Tears fell.

Yet some people took it upon as a joke. Saddening.

What vile creatures are we to make a teacher, a Male Teacher to tear?

Remarks made to the class have been poor. This indirectly highlights how effective the CT is. The class had been also highlighted as "The Class with Potential", but what is the reasons for such poor grades? Time management? Stress? Laziness?

Not that I've not heard of those. And I do not know the reasons to why the others produce such poor results.

For mine. I guess it's my character.
I question alot about everything.
I lack motivations.
I lack the stamina to stick through my resolutions.
I'm weak minded.

Sorry to whip up another excuse, but my confidence has been eroded away.
Not much of it remains.
And confidence isnt built up within a day.

But. Enough of this excuses.
Even with the lack of confidence, motivation,
I shall blind myself momentarily from the reality,
to strive hard for the Promos,
for my future, my survial depends on it.

Most importantly, there's still a speck of dissatisfaction which resides in me. Although small, it's slightly significant to push me to prepare for the Promos.

Hakuna Matata

2007-08-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

Nobody follows the philosophy behind Hakuna Matata.

Which is quite saddening.

The hectic lifestyle.
The increasing workload.
The increasing nonsense I hear.
And again, no one understands.

How boring. How Frustrating. How saddening.

Guess I'm a little too busy recently to blog what I really want, so I guess most of my thoughs will be stuck in my head. My heart. For a while.

After the Promos and PW presentation, I'm so gonna slack. Like I always did during secondary school days, except I wonder if it still feels as good as it did before. Slacking in my JC, is condemned by almost everyone. Makes me wonder, once again, to why I chose JC over Poly. Not that poly is slack, but I'm more adapted for the Poly way of life.

Haiz. I want my slack slack Life back please. And I want the Halo 3 : legendary edition too. Mircosoft, please import it to Singapore. Share the joy~ After all the 360 slogan is :" It's good to play together." So why keep us out sia?

If you're Nice, Sweet, Honest and Sincere, Hakuna Matata. Dont lie though.

The Silent Whimper

2007-08-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well I cant believe I'm was so busy for the past few weeks, that it almost virtually killed me off. I managed to survive with just really dark eye bags, a persistent sore throat, a bloody weird feeling like over-stretching of the neck and a flu. Right now my head is feeling warm, my nose feels kinda stingy. I've checked the mirror, it made my eye bags looked even more obvious. Why am I'm blogging now instead of resting? Heck if I know.

I think I'm not really myself for the past few months. I've lived those days like some zombie, or with some alien manipulating my body with some weird devices. Everything seems oblivious to me. Maybe it's just mental fatigue. Physically, I seem normal. Mentally, I'm exhausted. It's almost near the breaking point. The reason is kinda dumb if you ask me. It's neither bout the hectic JC life, it's not bout being disappointed with your CCA nor it's not about not being able to meet any with the same frequency.

It's about me. Me(s).

In my head, there seems to be a war waging between two parties. Or perhaps even more. Who knows? Those stuffs above regarding bout the school and stuffs, well, they're more like catalysts. Something happened early this year, and I forgot what really happened. Or what even happened. I just lost faith in my view, my values, my beliefs and everything else. I lost faith in myself.

This bloody war in my head is getting into me. The mind could only handle so much, yet it still marvels me. Almost a year and still going quite strong, but it's showing signs of cracks in its defences.

I need faith, but faith only exists for those who truly believes in it?

Mid Life Crisis

2007-07-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Well, it's almost official. I'm having something like a great interest in Business related stuffs. Something like... Science Practical. You get to do hands on~!

Another thing is that, yeah, my colleague, Charles (Not the Charles of 07S208, but the other Charles who's Indian and works in Mediatron Advertising XD).

Dont engage in BGR while you're in JC. Man, from the numerous JC relationship failures I've seen so far, I'm curious to know if it's due to information failure, incompatibility, shift in focus in life or it's just the plain old "I've found a better person, so...I choose him/her over you" kind of crap.

Yawnz. Along with the coming Promos, Double Yawnz. With no holidays in sight, Triple Yawnz. Man, I need a GOOD motivation to mug sia.

I'm starting to question alot of things, bout myself, bout life and almost everything else. Mid Life crisis? So early? I'm like 17 only SIA. Man I'm gonna dying so young YAWNZ. I still wanna have kids sia. I like Kids. I simply adore their innocence.

I still cant shake it off man. I just cant.

Oh by the way people, catch the Halo 3 E3 trailer 2007. IT's AWESOME.
And some things never change. My brother is a fcuking retard. But he's a little better than some others I knew. The only difference between my Bro and them is that my Bro sucks at acting. Suck ALOT.

Temperament

2007-07-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

Well, personally I think, we humans have underestimated the power of Time.

It can shape mountains, bring the mightiest trees down to their knees, silence active volcanoes, change the face of our Blue Planet as well.

Time also reveals the true intent of us, Humanity. This process, well, isnt a pleasant one. Time erodes our patience. It peels off our protective layers, which some of us have given the term "Masks", barring our inner most thoughts to our surrounding. This is when, People will truly know who're they interacting with.

They tell us, who we really are.

And I can say that...I'm appalled by what I've seen. Enough to change my thoughts radically. Is such phenomenon normal?

What people truly says and react contradicts. What?
People use flaws to attack each other. Why?
People with no passion for the things they do. Then why continue doing it?
Why people must be selfish? Why can't they be nice and friendly to each other? Can't they just just smile and enjoy the moment?

The importance of tolerance as a virtue. How many Singaporeans are following it? And how many actually believe in it? How many of YOU actually follow this virtue from YOUR OWN HEART, but not just because it's convenient?

Being exhausted and weary gives you no right to put someone down. There was never such rights. For those people who does it proudly, congratulation. You seriously disgust me, and some are much closer than I've thought. WTF do they have to do this? It shows how powerful you are? No, in fact, it shows that you're immature, weak and twisted. You may have friends, but True Friends? God Knows.

I've tried so hard, and got so far
In the end, it doesnt even matter.
I had to fall, to lose it all
In the end, it doesnt even matter.

Well, I'm awed by BumbleBee. Songs roughly depicts what you feel.

When things start to piece together.

2007-07-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm...

11.7.07

A great day to start. Ho Hum.

Sometimes, things just happen when you least expected them, like for me today.

Who would had known I would receive Enlightenment today? I didnt even expected it though, it's just strange and compelling. I felt that...I just had to go there and have a chat with him.

Viola~ Enlightenment. Made me a little Mature (I hope LoL). Made me, a little more appreciative of everything around me. I've also gained/changed some views bout certain aspects of Life, and...

I really want to cherish people around me. Especially those I love dearly.

It happened to be on this day. The no. 117 appeared here. Makes me wonder bout God. Assuming if you exist, is this some sort of sign? Guidance? Or just a nice slap on the back kind of encouragement?

I'm slowly mugging. Focus on my JC studies. I also have a promise made, though it's not acknowledged. But I should be contented for now. Let Faith and Destiny work their magic.

Doubts

2007-07-08T03:40:00.000+08:00

When One has doubts, he will not achieve much.
When One has alot doubts, he will achieve nothing.

As we're exposed to more and more information from all around us, we start to question more and more of it. For questions we do not have a definite answers to, we can only speculate a conclusion. When these conclusions start to show their flaws, we get unnerved. When we get nervous, we have doubts. Doubts will then lead us to question again, and thus begin this never ending cycle.

Like a human body, The Mind can get exhausted due to "over questioning".
This is when, The Mind just shut itself out from the outside influences.
This is when Life just goes all straight down.

For doubts to be removed, there must be motivation and purpose, one as the fuel and the other as a path. This is when the mind will solely focus on this task, and gradually let go all doubts.
Find a Life Long Motivation. Live it. Fulfil it. Find someone who'll spur you on to continue towards that goal.

If only school was a Boss monsters or something. At least it can be defeated.

2007-07-08T02:58:00.000+08:00

YAWNZ.

It's already July le.

Times flies when you're in JC. Back in the good old secondary school days, time didnt even fly that fast. I had time to nap, play games(Lots of it too), watch TV and just spacing out. Now... Time has officially become some sort of scarcity. My demand for Time is TOO BIG. So big that it's eating into my sleeping time.

And what's cause without effects? Stiff necks. Worse than before, and it feels more and more like someone is either squeezing or stretching the hell out of my neck/shoulder muscles. Another thing is that my body, apparently has reached its limits, or I'm getting old liao. I cant survive long nights. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I cant survive Long Nights and Long Days continuously. And to make it worse, I quickly adapted back to sleeping after morning (How's 6am for starters? Now imagine for the whole of June Holidays..), and when school started, it was HELL FOR ME. Eyes feeling like they've been in the oven, my mind and limbs are getting more and more numb by this exhaustion. My mind is a total blank during school mornings, having less controls over my limbs, aching neck and sometimes fingers, and ultimately. My speech. Man, how to speak when your mind is like...TOTALLY WASTED SIA. It's a miracle that I can still even move my mouth to speak.

I feel like a wasted person. Haiz. Rotting in the inside too. This lifestyle sucks sia. There's no "true" purpose, I only live to mug. YAWNZ. Where's all the fun? Though there's this sayin' :

In every Job that has to be done, there's an element of Fun. And when you find the Fun, SNAP! The Job's a game~!

Sorry people, I'm not saint or some workaholic. I do thinks cause it's Fun. Or if it serves a meaningful purpose. And well. Studying has some fun, which I surprisingly found out last year during the "Month Long Mugging With Uncle John and Friends", but...In JC, it isnt bout studying. It's bout everything else except Fun. Fun via learning? Nah, not during my schooling time. Maybe in the future? God knows.

Politics exists at various education levels, primary, secondary etc. But after graduating from secondary school, One may be surprised by how intense Politics are in JCs. I dont know bout Poly, but from how I view it, if you like Projects, then it's your calling. As for JCs, it's the breeding ground for potential future politicians. But they need more time to mature though, cause at this level, most tend to decide on matters using their emotions.

Workload is another killer, cause you'll be in school for bout...10 hours. Yeap. 10 whopping hours. Not including travelling time by the way. Even adults dont require to work that long sia. And another thing? They get paid.

Democracy in schools are bullshit. Sorry for the strong word used. But it's full shit. Seriously. Vote for someone cause they look hot? Please, we're voting for people who'll devote their time and effort for the school, not voting for "The Hottest Babe and Hunk". Another thing, Popularity vote? SHEESH. Dont vote for people cause they're your friends. In fact, you should decide and vote by concluding if they could handle such responsibilities. Sometimes, popularity voting can be brought to another higher level, which I personally seen before. Your friends expect, and in fact, ask you to vote for a certain someone, and you're expected to do so, cause when friends tell you to do something, you must accomplish it. So, if you dont do so, you'll be questioned, and suay suay ar, the friendship's over. Sad huh, when people say kids and teens nowadays mature faster, well. I think it's in terms of Fashion. Nothing much bout the being rational part.

Exams, HAIZ. THE MOST DEGRADING and THE MOST LETHAL thing you can ever experience in JC life. Exams are much tougher compared to the ones you had back in secondary school or even primary school. Well for example, I've obtained U (The Lowest ever grade you can possibly ever get) for all subjects except Chinese. Ok, I've not gotten back my maths paper yet, but oh well. I guess it's a U.But I got 23 for Physics even though I didnt study for it, I didnt even attempt most tutorials, and I got a 23. Compared to some I know who mugged hard, they got bout 30+. So...Mugging could only get you an additional 10 marks only. Rewarding? Hard to say.

The subjects I'm studying now are kinda interesting, but the school life and exams just have to kill it off. Life now just sucks. Well sorry for being pessimistic, but I dont really like the idea of lying to myself and saying,"Hey, Life's great~! I've having a great time getting killed off by school."

Mid years in 4 more days. Waves GoodBye to Mid Years

2007-06-21T17:36:00.000+08:00

Well, this is just going great.

Chem revision is going a little off pace, and I just found out I misplaced my chp 5 : Gases notes. OMG.
Maths revision, well, may start soon.
Econs....Well, may start soon. After Maths.
Physics...Erm, well. *Waves goodbye to Physics* - I dont understand nuts bout that laws of the universe. I seriously question myself to why I did not choose the Bio Stream. And also why in the world, did I didnt choose Poly.
Chinese - Chinese? Must study meh?

Well, I just hope I can get a minimum sub-pass for all subjects, but...

I dont think it's possible. And damn, I dont wanna get retained.

Holidays made my lazy. Made me turn nocturnal. Made me restless. Made me fat. Made me think alot bout stuffs.

-Hmm, thinking bout stuffs. Some things are just left so complex and puzzlong to understand, but it's all part of the thrill. I'm a thrill seeker LoL.

-And also, somethings never change. Like my brother. "King" of the house, and I can see the effort made by him to be the center of EVERYTHING, regardless it to be of a positive, or negative aspect. AND NEVER TUTOR HIM FOR MATHS. NEVER. Trust me.

-Oh just to add. My attention span for studies was successfully prolonged to 45mins. Gradz. Now to prolong it to an hour...

Creation.

2007-06-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

Ideas are coming in. And fast. Very fast. And they strike anywhere. Even when I'm having phone conversation with Mother Nature.

Some are innovative.
Some are shameless-ripped off. But at least I tried to modify them. Make them better.
Some are God-sent.
Some are inspirations.
Some are observations.
Some are fantasies.
Some are dreams.
Some are realities.

But they are relate to my life. Well to a certain extent I guess.
The flame of creation has been lit. All that's left is the question:

"How to start?"

There's a whole new world. Wait. WORLDS. I'm itching to write it out. Draw it out. Act it out. ARGH HECK. I WANT TO MAKE IT A REALIZATION.

But I want to blog bout Colosseum. My Cruise Trip. My Movie Outing(s). My Holidays.
Hmmm...

Oh yeah. Mid years. And I've not started my revision. Yet. So...8 more days til mid years.
HoHo.

PLEASEEEEE. Just a minimum of 'S' grade for all subjects. PLEASEEEE.

Where the mind is the mirror

2007-06-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

I've thought bout it.

I'm short-tempered, impatient, and I think too much bout myself. I gotta be more understanding.

He's my Brother afterall.

I once said to someone, parents are humans. They're not perfect. If I dont forgive my parents for their mistakes, who will? He may like to vs me at some times, but.

It's our nature. We're kinda alike afterall. He...reminds me of the old me. Or even the repressed nature of me.

I'll try my best to mature, for the weight of responsibilities increases.

You showed me what is Faith.

2007-06-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

After posting nonsensical bullshits bout that brother again.

I was still shaking with anger. He's one of the few who can trigger me to almost go to the state of "Berserk". And in record time too. I guess I can credit him for that.

Then I thought bout myself. My future. Her.

Sometimes I wonder. Is it more than what it seems than meets the eyes ?
Is my attraction towards you, solely because you're my type of girl?
Or it's because you seem to be so mysterious, and I feel the thrill of unraveling your true personality?
Or is it that you're just so beautiful? On the outside and the inside?
Or is it just sexual attraction?
Or is it, that there are no logical explanations behind this. You just have to attract me. Perhaps insanely.
Or it's because I'm just looking for that "perfect" girl, to feel warmth in the heart.

That warm, fuzzy feeling is really comfortable. I hope it last forever.

I hope that, I can be my true self when I'm with you.
And accept me for who I am. Or at least try.
There're so much thing I want to share with you. There're so much things I would want you to know.
There's so many things which I'd want to say to you, but if only if I could. If only you could just know, understand.
I want you to enjoy Life with me, to dance together under the moon and stars, to sing bout the wonders in Life together, explore the world together, play naughty together...LOL. And also, enhance our Lifes together.
No one's perfect, but for you, I'll make an exception. But you gotta work hard to be perfect! Cause I'll be trying my best to do the same for you.

You make me smile, laugh from the heart.
You make me love Life, enjoy the things which I do.
You make my Life become a colourful melody.
You make me wanna sing and dance.
You make me mature.
You make me resoponsible.
You make me care bout everyone else.
You make me actually accept my bro for who he is, cause you taught me that Love is boundless, fair, and selflessness.
You make me feel the warmth in the heart.

But if I could only know who you are.

And the Retard Alarm goes off.

2007-06-11T17:26:00.000+08:00

That's it. It's certified.

Neo Jack XXXX , is a fucking moron.

Well, I've tried to be a gentleman to smile it off. Give no attention to such pathetic whore. I've friends, relatives, most people who know bout the problem between me and that weirdo.

Everytime when I blogged angrily bout that retard, I didnt post it up. Cause I know when to draw the line, and I know that idiot will come to my blog to spot check. Past comments in this blog are made by him. Even though he refuse to admit, I just know. Cause the way he insults is ridiculously obvious to me. Dude, you have been free-loading in my house for like...15 years? I dotn give a damn bout ur age. I just know you suck. You're mentally sick. You look disgusting.

So people, dont ever say we look alike. I'll get pissed.
In fact, never talk bout him, unless you want to hear EVERY SINGLE DISGUSTING DETAIL bout him.

This time, I refuse to act gentleman. It's almost war.
Dude, listening to "your" songs? You can use my thumbdrive, ransack my personal folders, hog my Xbox, and you have the right to insult me for listening 3 songs which you happily download from the net, and God knows if you secretly took that websites from me. You have no fcuking rights.

In fact when I heard you fell from the bike and got "badly" injured. I dont give a damn bout you. I only feel hurt to see the bike damaged. And with those injuries, you look even more disgusting. I dont even want to see you anymore.

Dude, monitor your weight everytime (Wait, he does that), check ur hair all the time, act cool all the time. Dont give stupid comments like I look gay or shit or whatsoever, when you copy my ways/ideas/styles exactly, even without making the effort to modify them. Listen. You suck. To the core. In fact, sometimes I wonder what differs you from the devil.

You, made my family a living horror.
But I dont hate you, cause you're my brother. That's in the name of law. But personally to me, you're just a stranger. An Unwelcome Guest.

If I could only berserk, and snuff you out. If only I didnt have responsibilities. If only, I didnt have anything to care for in this world. Having a killer intent is no joke. You twisted my life you jerk.

*I cant believe I changed his name to XXXX last min. WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD?

Happy 17th Birthday.

2007-05-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

I'm 17. It's official.

My first birthday on a school day in years. Maybe it's my first.
I dont really wanna go to school, but duties call. I wanna slack hard on my birthday.

If I could turn back time...
The reason to start all anew, and the reason is you.

Bye sweet 16th. For the good memories remains to sooth the heart, and the bad memories as steps towards maturity. Somethings gone, can never be retrieved or relive. I guess.

Goodbye~ Sweet 16th. Welcome to adulthood.

2007-05-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

Just bout 15 mins more to go, goodbye sweet 16th. Though I didnt get the chance to celebrate my last day as a 16 year old teen. Who would have known...MJC is such a pressure cooker.

The pressure is building up. It's not really bout the competition, it's not bout the politics, it's not bout school life. It's bout Reality. Welcome to a life with the fixed routine 7am - 7pm.

The chances of survial is slim, the light is dim. For the true horror of the power of Knowledge swarms you. With the high demand by MJC, I guess I'll have to MUG LIKE NO TOMORROW. Or...Retain? God knows.

I'm officially 17 tomorrow. I'm not too excited bout that. I just feel empty inside.

But will you be there to brighten up my day? Been wondering though.

Tell me, God, the truth. For your words are final.

2007-05-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

This is getting bad, real bad.

My studies is getting nowhere, particularly that I dont know what the heck the subjects are saying, and also another undeniable fact. I cannot focus.

Oh I have seen the power of being able to focus. It's very scary cause it actually makes work easier! It's also scary cause I've seen myself getting focus. I look fierce, darn fierce.

Reasons to why I cant focus... let's just leave it with a messed up life for now. Disrupted sleeping patterns, like an example would be like I'm typing this post at 12.42am on a school day, after 3 hours of nap. I'm too freakin' tired to do work lor. Another factor would be, how can you focus when you're so caught up with verifying whether things that are true, things which are illusions. How sick it is to have friends to act all friendly and "normal" to you, when they seemed to be plotting or have something against you. Conspiracies? I do not know. But curiosity is driving me insane. WHAT IS THE TRUTH?! Who can I actually trust? Even some of my best pals seemed to be against me. Or maybe, I'm just going on a wild goose chase, which I seriously hope for.

Sometimes having thinking alot is potentially harmful to health. This would be a perfect example.

I really treasure and miss my secondary school days. For ignorance is bliss. It may be true, or untrue, but anyway, I've hidden myself under the cloak of the world of gaming during that time. Oh the world seemed prettier that time. A period of time when everything seemed so true.

It would seems that I do not understand God LoL. For I am unable to ingest Physics. I'm not the lawyer kind of guy, I guess. But I also find it hard to place my faith on someone, which I do not really know if the supreme being exists or not.

I was asked,:" Why didn't you take Bio?"
Hmm, I wonder. Would things be different if I've taken Bio? Sorry for the crappy answer though, cause I was stumped by your question, and... I was a little exhausted that day. But it was really a walk to remember.

Where the casualties of War teaches you appreciation.

2007-05-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

My world is crashing down at a astoundingly fast rate, well with catalysts from both school life, and woefully, my home.

The war between me and Reality, and it seems Reality is winning. Not a good sign at all. I'm exhausted, scarred, and getting really, really restless.

That inner voice, wants to just burst out of me, and scream. I've heard it before, and it ain't human. Sorrow and anger. It bares its fangs, its eyes stares coldly at me. It has a humanoid shape, familiar, yet it seems so alien too. It's barbaric, violent, unpredictable. And it has a craving for something...

Being witty has its flaws, I guess. The images are so vivid, and they flash through my brain over and over again. It is starting to weaken over my control of that inner beast, which I fear is my other self. Sometimes I question where's my other Gemini half. It would seem that my question is answered. It's part of me, and I'm part of it. There seems to be clear, distinct differences, yet, there are no differences at all! Logical ? I'm not sure.

I, cant smile anymore. Let alone laugh. Cause there are so many things I'm starting to feel so revolting. Egos, back stabs, masks, and even girls gaining every opportunities just to touch a guy's body. Guys being nice isn't the excuse for them to stroke their bodies. Our reaction will determine to how we view you. Many, or perhaps some guys enjoy it, but nope. Not me. Overdoing it disgusts me. Seriously.

And well, home has become a living hell. Hell, isn't like what people viewed as fiery pits with little minions laughing manically. Hell, toys with your sanity. Hell, pushes you towards the point of mental instability. Hell, virtually rips your heart out.

Amidst the losing war, an angel appears from the heavens to the battlefield. Her radiance heals all wounds. Her smile dispels all worries. She spoke. But it's inaudible. What is it that you were trying to say? This mystery shaken the confidence of Man.

But one thing seems certain.

I'm gonna follow you through.
No matter the pain,
Through the darkness of this world if I must,
Cause you'll be there to shine the way.

Past the end of the future,
Won't let the weakness..
..Break down my soul.

= Your silence is mysterious, yet heart breaking. Your eyes speak of a beautiful tomorrow. Your elegance, grace, shows true beauty. Your funkiness is intriguing. Your laughter, is soothing. Your smile...Took my soul away. =

I hope it never changes.

In the confusion, and the aftermath,

You are my signal fire. - Taken from a friend

The Weekly Update

2007-05-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

It seems that I've underestimated the "Chiong rate" of MJC. I wont say Stress level, cause with relative to me, it will be SUPER high. Way of the charts. Enough said.

Ya know how scary it is to come home and unable to relax? Games, music, Tv, they dont really calm me down. Well, once in a while, the solace I find is from spacing out, and daydreaming.

Ah, daydreams. I havent been doing much of that since coming to JC. These dreams, are becoming more and more abstract recently, and sometimes, the same scenes just repeat over and over again. There're good and bad ones, but well, I guess it cant be avoided. But, the bad ones outweigh the good ones. That's for so now. Just give me a break. A LONG one, maybe a week or something without studies or cca related stuffs, and I can safely assure myself, that it will tip back to normal levels. Just like my secondary school days... Where slacking isnt a sin.

Aside with the shitty craps. I've loads of fun to~!

- I went to Benji's house! And man, it was beautiful. But the best of all, we got to play Halo 2. On fullscreen! How would ya beat that? But...I didnt mean to thrash them or what, but well, I'm more experienced I guess. LoL. And the best part? We played Kung Fu Chaos. Bloody hell, they dont sell it anywhere anymore. But anyway, Benji and Leon totally owned us. That game was so exciting, that I continued button meshed even though my character died. LoL. After the whole party ended, Eugene's dad brought me and Leon back home, how sweet, and Thanks alot~!

- I went to an event called "International Understanding Night" held at TPJC. Well, CK invited us over, and I'm curious to how TPJC looked (cause I didnt manage to crash TP during the 1st 3 months afterall...), so I just went lor. The whole performance was ok, but for the modern dance, I hate to say this but...The dance was too artistic. Guys wearing briefs. Awkward actions. I laughed. At the end of that performance. And man did I laughed til I got stitches. Cause of something what Den said, then for magical reason I laughed uncontrollably. No offence though.

And for the first time. The reception was good~~

- Saturday was fun, yet painful. Firstly, I didnt sleep early on Fri, and I gotta wake up damn early to get some Syrups from an office located at Bukit Batok. And the trip there via 506 cost me $2.31...And it's my first time doing this, having the Boss promoting his products to me and giving me his name card. And the 3 bottles are made of glass~! So imagine the horror of carrying it back from Juront East MRT to Pasir Ris MRT. I doze off on my way there, I guess I'm poofed. After storing the syrups there, sampling some garlic bread, I chionged back to Bedok Reservoir to meet up with Rice. We're suppose to go for inoculation in the morning, but oh well. The ironic thing is, most clinics closed at 12pm, and we went all the way to Bedok just to get inoculated. Stupid, but intriguing.

Later in the night, my mom suddenly suggested going to East Point for shopping and dinner. It was refreshing to just go out and unwind. It felt great. But the arcade sucked. I'm suppose to pay $5 for a card just to play DDR, which only costs bout $0.50? JEEZZ. Oh yeah, I met CK on the way, and yes, I wore the shirt for 2 days. But there wasnt any SMELL what. Makes my life easier.

- Happy Birthday to Kathy~! You just have to remind me that mine is drawing near Haiz
- Thanks to Hiqmah, MY FELLOW GEMINI~! For lending an ear. Woah to just talk seriously like that feels WONDERFUL~! Wish me luck. And thanks for that message :

Smile and acknowledge. Show that you care

Be aware of signs by Life. Never take things for granted.

2007-04-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

It's Official. Grandpa passed away early this morning. I'll not cry (I think), cause we'll remember how he lived, and the lessons he taught (Some indirectly LoL). All we can hope for now, is that he and Grandma will be happy together when they meet high above in the heavens. It has been a while since they've been together, and they should smile more too!

I believe, Ah Gong missed Ah Ma, cause he seemed fatigued, and smiled less when she passed away 3 years back. Well, I do hope he's happy now.

And, Ah Gong, sorry for the troubles caused. I'll missed you. Although we dont speak often, but we do care for each other. I know, cause it's a undeniable fact.

My only regret, was the stupid decision to take a nap instead of rushing down to visit you yesterday. Now I dont have that chance anymore.

Walk by Faith, not by what you see

2007-04-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today was totally busted, partially of the REACH meeting organized by the ever lovely SLC club(LOL), and also that I went home and collapse on the bed. Again.

So there's no work done. Still a unfinished PI due very soon, a Maths tutorial still untouched and also a Maths Lecture test still unrevised for. But still, I had fun in school today. I guess.

I had to drag myself up today, but thankfully it's a SATURDAY morning. The morning of School days just SUCK. And I just dont know why. With the horrible thought of "OMG I'm goonnaa be late~! 07S208 WILL BE DISGRACED! I'm SCREWED!", I just chionged all the way. Ok, walked fast only.

Reaching there, I found out that I'm the only retard wearing Jeans. Not that I want to, but I dumped my uniform for washing. But at least to be thankful, I'm not the only one wearing OGL shirt. I believe that lady to be JiHan? LoL I'm not good at remembering names. I didnt really expect to see so many people that I know to attend the meeting sia. And also, the SLC members were there too. I was stunned when I was scanning the room sia, I did not know what to DO! For she was there. I panicked and look away. LOL. Talk bout irony, dude...For yesterday I was like,"Wah so busy sia. And sleeping so early too! Puts me to shame T-T. But why? Aiyah cant be lah, I dont think I'll see her tmr in school.." But there she was lor.

Ok back to topic...Truthfully, I dont really recall the whole "training" I had today. I saved it somewhere in my brain. I recall...waiting for Satiya for A FREAKING LONG TIME for lunch, but only have him going home instead. So, there was no lunch. OK, here's the deal. That's not the main reason why I stayed back so long to ask him out for lunch, but...There was this group. I panicked. Maybe cause she always give that kind of look, maybe on purpose or not, but it makes me panic. Alot. Plus I was with Petrina and Hui Ling at that moment. And we're hanging around the side gate...And I think we looked gangly...But I'm scared that she may have the mis-conception of certain issues. After all I've heard people confusing me and Hui Ling as a couple. Yeah it's kinda true, cause We're Cousins. That's right. Cousins. But it's a fear for it really confuses me to know what she's really thinking. There are moments when I would like, hey, that she would just reject me. Feels draggy, and clinging on the "possibly non-existent" thread of hope does make my arms tired sia. For I've hanged that long.

Another piece of bad news. Apparently, my grandpa is in ICU again, and from how my mom phrased the whole thing, his condition is getting worse. And this is bad. I hope for the best, but logic differs. Have faith, this is what I always tell others. I dont like farewells. So that makes me a illogical person I guess. Though I may appear talkative, the truth is, which I just discover, is that I cannot convey my thoughts and feelings during conversations. It feels like a sin, for I had fun at the REACH meeting, while my grandpa is in the hospital fighting for his life. I waste time thinking bout gals, when I should concern for his condition. I didnt visit him today at all...I went to take a nap instead.

All I want now is to just wildly dance away. But I do not know how to LOL. Must be listening too much Dance music.

2007-04-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

WHEE~~~ Finally the weekend arrived.

This past week has been a short, but bloody painful one. I'm slowly slowly adapting to the Life In Meridian, just some minor adjustments to tweak. When I mean bloody painful, it's again related to "sleeping disorders", body system running wild and that ever, irritating neck-stiffness problem is back again. Makes my head twists like Techno.

But it's not only that. It's also bout the Virginia Tech Massacre, what can drive a man to such desperation, or to such insanity that a human, actually murdered 32 innocent beings. Apparently, something fueled him to such extent, that Cho Seung Hui planned this to every single detail. And the scariest thing? He held the belief that the killings were justified, and the only solution, even until the point when he sucided. It scares me, it reminds me of things.

From MSNBC.com:
"When criminologists and psychologists look at mass murders, Cho fits the themes they see repeatedly: a friendless figure, someone who has been bullied, someone who blames others and is bent on revenge, a careful planner, a male."

Just a day after the Virginia Tech Massacre, the mayor of Nagasaki, Japan was apparently gunned down by a rival from the Mafia. I guess this is an evidence of how sohpisticated societies, or People, can be.

Do you ever wonder why these happen? I don't know, but I do once in a while, and these events taught me to treasure everything. Everyone. Yeah including my Dear Brother(Who still holds the record of being able to piss me off at record time).But at such a huge cost. I guess it takes a hard knock to wake someone realise something eh?

The human mind, or perhaps the soul, can be so fragile, yet so strong at the same time. Is it the way we live? Or is it just pure will power? Or is it meant to be? These events made me look back down the path of my life. Those...images, like the ones I've seen from various episodes of Eva.

And all it takes is a smile to make others feel better. Laughter is good too~! But not strongly encouraged though, cause it really depends on how you laugh. So if Life is starting to suck, Smile more.

= We mourn for the Virginia Tech victims and the Mayor of Nagasaki. For their Lives ended abruptly and violently under the gun =

The Emo Post. WHEE~ =P

2007-04-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

These past recent weeks had been turbulent for me, for I've been thinking alot bout certain issues, which had been constantly on my mind, and also not to mention events which are slowly unfolding in front of my eyes.

Lies, and deceptions. Time and time again, I question myself of what is the "Truth". This whole "Truth and False" concept is getting more and more blurred, and I don't even know what to believe in anymore. I kinda get the feeling of seeing people around me wear masks which deceive people of their true self. Yeah I admit I do that sometimes, but to use it to distort facts, which resulted in people being hurt, and it involves irrational reasoning. It's part of human nature, I guess. So people, be rational, and never GO ONE BIG ROUND just to express something. Cause it's kinda irritating over the time.

Being neutral, I've forgotten the feeling of believing in something, well, cause I'm a very 2-sided guy I guess. I can hardly make any decisions cause, mentally, the 2 sides will always engaging in a eternal debate bout everything. Therefore, I always contradict myself. Often. I guess this is the flaw of being a Gemini LOL.

Recently, I've been avoiding certain issues. May be important, may be insignificance. I do not know. But I do know I'm running away. And it does not feel great. Neither are the sudden loss of breath, heart racing and the sense of mis-direction.

I survived Friday the 13th without incidents. Maybe it's due to the radiance of The Eternal Sunshine, which all evil are driven away~! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Adopted from Govin)

= stop walking, listen with your heart =
What does it truly mean? Oh yeah, so does the Evil Ice Cream Man LOL.

Life's all bout Decisions.

2007-04-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

I found out a few things today. I apparently developed a fear of the deep ends of pools, I give people the impression of a Hardcore Slacker, and that I hate growing up.

Growing up, in this modern society, seems painful. We're reared to serve as tools to strengthen the country or perhaps even Gears Of War. As my JC life continues, it's starting to surface its ugly side from it "Oh It's A WONDERFUL LIFE" mask. Today, I've made a hard and painful decision. I'm thinking of leaving Life Saving for Biz Club.

Firstly, I cant swim. Well. And Life Saving is bout swimming.
Secondly, I fear the deep end of the pool. Makes swimming harder.
Thirdly, if I go learn swimming, that's bout 3~4 times a week. And...I can't cope with my studies.

I dont know, I just feel bad to leave. Yeah, people may laugh at me for being weak, being a quitter etc, but...I think I know what I want. That is to be carefree. Apparently, Life forbids. Maybe it's just me, cause I dont know what I want. Or bout those things which I want, seems impossible to achieve... Imagine the horror, of not being able to accomplish anything, and these survive as regrets which will haunt you for as long as you live.

I saw this MSN nick, kinda intriguing.
= R.I.P to those who died waiting for the school bell to ring. =

Bo Liao, Zuo Bo, Sian Ke Be Si.

2007-03-31T01:33:00.000+08:00

This Friday was a really, really, really SHORT day. Well let me see, 1 MT lesson, 1 PE lesson, 2 GP lessons. And we're dismissed at 12.05pm. Hmm.

Anyway, someone from 07S208 suggested a CG lunch again, but sadly, the response was poor. My fears are starting to become a reality, cause the class is starting to separate into different groups. Mainly, I nicked them : OGLs, The Girls, The Guys and the Minority. Only 5 went for lunch, and the rest either went home, or had something on. Anyway the lunch went well.

After returning home, I had nothing much to do, so I went to take a nap, and who would have known that I'll sleep til 9pm.

Yesterday Khai and Haq came to my area via bike to bring his Controllers back. And we chatted for 3 hours straight LOL. Well I guess it's normal, cause everyone went their own separate paths and we wanted to catch up and remember the good old days. Yeah, I guess that's the case.

But there's this thing which has been bothering me deep down inside. Not Physically, but mentally, I guess. It would seem that insecurity would overcome me and such, and I lose faith in things which I believed in. It's like when Logic clashing with Instinct. Clash of the Titans. Yeah I admit, it makes me what others call, Emo, in some sense, cause I'll be quiet,tired ,give that Sian Sian look.

I think I know why I like Techno. It's cause the lyrics are short and simple, yet meaningful. To me at least. I love the richness of the Rhythms. I love the beat of the base. I love the speed .I love it when it makes me want to dance. I love the way the various sound mediums are synchronized together to form such beautiful Techno. I love it when it reminds me that, I can feel with my heart. Listen with my heart. See with my heart. Techno, best describes the way of How I view things. Simple Things made complicated. Simple reasons admist the chaos in my mind. This is how I view life. Appreciate and respect Life. Techno reminds me of how Life could be so simple, yet chaotic, and yet Melodious at the same time.

Recently, this lyrics from a Techno song which I have got somehow embedded into my brain. It sounds AWESOME.

I dont know when, I dont know how...
But I only know that one day, we'll be together again.
And I dont know when, I dont know how...
But I only know that one day, we'll be together again~!

Living Hell.

2007-03-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

That's it. I've had enough. Just to come home everyday has been HELL for me. All thanks to this person who happened to be my brother. Damn, I sometimes wonder if he came from Hell or what.

When I come home, he has to make life difficult for me and stuffs. Dude, I just came back from JC at bout 7~8pm+. And I want to relax. You do your homework WHILE watching/ HOGGING the freakin' TV, I dont mind. I just use my com. But to make idiotic demands and expect me to give in to you, I'm giving Mom and Dad some face. Not you. Dont make me...

Please dont make it a mistake that I'll regret for Life.

2007-03-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

Well, as Fate or luck have it, for all my lectures, my class for some magical reason was positioned behind or near her class. Yeah, I was busy listening to lecture and doing eye exercises LoL. But, it would seem that, we're both trying our very best to avoid each other. It's kinda ironic though, and I admit that will be my mistake.

While chatting with her via MSN (I cant speak to her face to face nia. I can't breathe.), something just got over me and I just confessed. Yeah, and it didn't stop there. I went on to ask stupid questions, cause she never gave me a clear cut answer. Not bout' starting a relationship cause I know it'll be too rushed, but somehow to get to know one another better? What to expect? I don't even talk to her often, and I don't know her well too! LOL?! Can't blame her though, cause how would you react if your classmate of 2 years you know nothing much bout' suddenly came confessing to you?

For the Couple Dance during the 2nd Orientation, I asked her for a dance. Not once, but twice, and twice I was rejected. First via SmS, and she phrased it so nicely XD. Second time, on the spot when I asked her when the Couple Dance was bout to start. It was hard for me nia, cause I had to time my breathing, "May I ?May I ?"

Yeah that's all I could come up with. Anyway she must had a shock when I just came over. She was blushing! XD XD XD, then she was like rushing me off or something. Thank God for Satiya and Amos for giving me an excuse to go over. I went away for a while, but I decided to be persistent, and...yeah she gave in, quite reluctantly =?. She gave me that "Grr" or Diaoz face, cause I'm not sure. I cant breathe when I look at her. Especially her Eyes.

The Rest, Felt like Magic. I held her hand. It was magical. The dancing part was a little weird and funny, cause firstly, we had little space. Secondly, She's not familiar with the dance. Thirdly, I "fell" head over heels. I lost coordination and the Rhythm to dance. Ah, I wished that it could last a little longer though, and...I hope, at least we can look at each other, and just say hi. And, have a little conversation together. I want to get to know her better.

Saying GoodBye to Teenhood...

2007-03-24T21:54:00.000+08:00

Time sure flies fast, well particularly when you're having fun. 07S208 is a great class, like every other class, we have our jokers, muggers, tech-savvies, sweet and nice people and of course, the quiet ones.

Last Friday, 07S208 went out to West Plaze to have a CG lunch at the nearby foodcourt, Koufu, in an attempt to "bond" everyone closer to each other in the same CG, especially the OGLs who weren't together with us during the 2nd Orientation. The lunch was great, but...The other OGLs didnt exactly clicked with the CG. Except for Reuben LOL, a worthy adversary for Nintendo DS games. LoL, nice to see another who enjoys games as much as I do. So anyway after the lunch, most of them went home, except for a few of us, Wang Yee, Gao Min, Charles, Daniel and I went back to school to just laze around.

We had a great time chatting, well maybe I did most of the talking, Dan and Charles were still quite quiet. We played cards, Stress, and even Mass Dance! LOL! Leon and Eugene joined us too, and Eugene is a new friend made. LoL. We went to play basketball for awhile, and man, it's been a long time since I've played Basketball. Eugene's a pro BB player by the way, haha. After the BB session, Gao Min, Daniel and Charles went home first, so Wang Yee, Eugene, Leon and I went home together. And to my great surprise, Wang Yee stays around my area. And as a bonus, I met Wen Feng on the bus. LOL.

That day went great. I learned more bout 07S208, and bout' the others.

4E1 06', you guys will forever be in my heart. No matter where we are, we all live under the same sky... I do hope, that things between us can be resolved and be even better !

MJC Orientation Two~! The ceremony to embrace Adulthood

2007-03-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

The 2nd MJC Orientation had just ended, but apparently, I was still in the OGL mood...Ushering my OG/CG into lecture halls. LOL~.

Well sadly, I lost my voice. Almost. First time in my life nia.

Ok, for Orientation Day 1, like always, the freshies came in lost, or those who're in MJC for the first three months stuck together with their friends. So being OGLs, we're told to usher them into the hall and into each respective OGs. So leading by examples, we did what we're told by the councillors, and I admit that I'm a slacker, but I'm trying to reduce the time slacking. So, I just held the PlyCard instead of running all bout' to usher Freshies in. CSI, well I was not a great fan of it cause it's kinda repetive and boring, but as an OGL, I did my best to act Enthu. I hoped it worked, cause it ain't easy. But then, some of the freshies clicked.

Orientation Day 2, MMM, apparently, it thought it was suppose to be fun, BUT, to my great disappointment, it just fell short of my expectations. I guess I demand too much liao. The OG were'nt enthusiastic bout the event, took their own sweet time to just walk around and talk and stuffs, I guess I can't blame them, cause I was doing the same too LOL. But hey, after circling Marina Bay, we're suppose to WALK all the way to Orchard UNDER the HOT sun in the HOT afternoon. Well I'm ok with that, but my OG seemed resilient bout' that idea, so I guess we're done with MMM LoL. Last group to return to HQ, and perhaps the only group to only finish 4 stations. The most funny thing bout MMM was, that Triton 8 was WAY faster than us.

Upon seeing them coming towards Matt's Station (Our Staton 2), I asked Rach, Triton 8's OGL if this is their second station.

Rach : No, this is our 3rd station.
Jack : .....*Whispers OMG, HOLY COWS?!*

Anyway Triton 8 was so unbelievably fast that they reached their 5th and last station before we reach our 4th station. Talk bout chiongsters...

For Orientation day 3, it was the best. Like for every MJC Orientation LoL. Cause I think that, most freshies LIKE TO GET WET AND DIRTY! Including me LoL, but I'm guai lah. So almost everyone went nuts during Wet and Wild, I went around attacking everyone with ICY COLD WATER from our MJC's ever lovely water cooler. Wah to see their reaction was damn satisfying nia. But this is only during WnW only. Everything was fun, and apart from the VICIOUS attack by OGLs and Councillors alike, everything went smoothly. My ears are still clogged til today =.=||

Campfire, was awesome, though many said that it wasnt as good as the 1st Orientation's. But hey! You GET TO ENJOY AIR-CON! The whole campfire felt like a disco, a ROCK CONCERT! Yeah BABY~! People were drumming all the way with pails and bottles, people cheering like there's no tomorrow. Haiz I wish for it to last longer, but the Couple Dance, I couldnt bring myself to ask her again. For I feel like I've sinned. I made her embarrassed, the whole situation awkward. It makes me feel, depressed. Wait, let me rephrase that, I felt bad. Very bad inside. But hey, I hope she enjoyed as much as I've. The campfire ended very late, and after this, Me, Aik, Ger and Alvin went to Mac at White Sand for "Dinner", and by the time we went home, it's 10pm+. Worse, we had school the next day.

Though Miranda didn't win Top 3 like we always do, I was quite pleased of how the people of M8, or 07S208 clicked together after the hard work did by us M8 OGLs. Well, I guess acting retarded, hyper, idiotic and caring does pay off. Although I did actually want to lose my voice due to excessive screaming during yesterday's Campfire.

I saw this at a classmate's blog, and I just cant help it but to post it here :
Love is a language spoken by everyone, but it is understood only by the heart.

So this is how the week goes

2007-03-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

Monday:
On Monday, I had Mass Dance Practice for the 2nd Orientation next week, as an OGL. Well I'll be damned, cause I'm late for the Mass Dance Practice by 30mins. I tend to sleep like there's no tomorrow during breaks.

So the practice was awesome, I was dancing like a whacko/retard, and I enjoyed it alot. But this is not the case for most OGLs...We also learnt some new cheers, but I've forgotten most of them haha, it seemed that I can't remember things for nuts.

The practice ended late, and adding the amount of time spent to run back to MJC, look for my lost keys, retrieving it, and waiting for the bus.no 58, bathing and preparing my stuffs, I reached Ger's house at 4.30pm. Obviously, the others were pissed. Haiz. So for the rest of the day, they took turns to suan me bout Christ lor. Damn sad sia, I always wonder how did it spread OUT DE -.- -.- -.-

That was my first time to Ger's house, and man, did it looked B-E-A-U-TI-FUL! Yeah, it's small and so on, but the interior design is pretty. But not my type LOL =P. Me, Mau and Den spent hrs there watching Resident Evil : Apocalypse, setting up Ger's laptop, "rescuing" Ger's Desktop Computer, installing all other "necessities", it getting late. Mau's mom cooked dinner, so he went home first. Ger then brought me and Den to one of his frequently visited coffee shop for Western Meal. Well Ger claimed it's value for $ and taste good, but my Fish n Chips cost $4.50, and look/tasted a little burnt. Anyway, I'll respect his decisions. I spent the remaining hours of thta Monday having a stomachache/cramp of sorts.

Tuesday:
LoL, Mau, Den and Me went to Ger's house again, on the purpose to "Fully Utilize" his condo's facilities. And yeah, to work out too. Like always, I got suan-ed bout Christ and stuffs again, so I just went,"Yeah Yeah." or just laugh coldly for most of the day.

That day, we went to pia Gym, and I was actually commented to have bigger biceps and firmer stomach/abs than Ger(NCC sia). I almost laughed of my socks. To tell you the truth, I prefer Gym to exercising outside. Firstly, you have the radio. Secondly, you have all the equipments and instruction guides. Thirdly, you get the Air-Con. Beat this! After Gym, well we kinda went on our separate ways. I went to swim, while the others went for basketball and tennis. So, swimming was exhilarating. To be able simulate weightless-ness, to be able to temporarily forget all my worries, to GET WET! Swimming rocks, though I spent most of the time in the Spa Pool HAHA. So after that, we went back to Ger's apartment and I went to browse the net, while they went to the toilet located at the Club House to bath. Best part of the day, is to eat what Ger's Mom cooked for us! Curry~! Man was it AWESOME. But too much Coconut Milk liao, the Curry was WHITE.

Wednesday:
Ger,Den and Mau came to crash my house. Done =)

March 07 Holidays. Sunday - Day 1

2007-03-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

well, ok. Here am I, posting/complaining bout stuffs again.
So anyway, this is a flashback of how my week went so far...

Ah this is bullshit. Chucking aside the fact that being nice & friendly and invite 4E1 to a movie outing does not pay off, which resulted in being ridiculed badly, giving the guys a f**king excuse to come "Gang" up and suan me, the whole day went pretty well. Yeah, scrapping the movie outing, me and some friends went for the IT show instead. For magical reasons which I do not know of, Den, Ger and Mau HAD finished touring the whole IT show, and then came to City Link Mall to meet me and Zap at 2.30pm. And after that, we went to the IT show. Again for the trio.

Ger,Den and Mau went first to the exhibition, pang-seh-ing me at MPH (I happened to be interested in books.), leaving me to wait for Zap to arrive all alone. Anyway, me and Zap took a total of 40 mins to just reach the Window Booth located at the 3rd floor. Yeah, you've heard me right. 40 mins. It was really, really jammed packed. There's also signs displaying something bout the IT show is fully packed blah blah~, please come back in an hr. Heck it, me, Zap and Den (He met us at the Window booth) toured the 3rd floor, taking a better look of Window's Vista OPS, diao-ing at kids hogging Gears Of War(Xbox360 Game Booth) and Dotz-ing at kids hogging PS3s Game Booths.

So anyway, we went to look for Mau and Ger who're both browsing for laptops. By pure coincedence, we met Stacey and Lingmei at the IT show. Not once, not twice, but three times. Talk bout small world LoL. There's nothing much to talk bout the IT show, price slashing everywhere, litter everywhere, people everywhere. I can't breathe, see where I'm going. So, yeah. That's how IT show was to me. After Ger bought his laptop (with some help from Mau), we went to the 6th floor to browse for external hard disks. Being a console fan, seeing PS2/Xbox360 thrills me, so I got pang-seh-ed again at the booth. So I toured a little on my own, apart from sticking at Sonic Gears' booth for it's heart-thumping Techno/Dance music, I didnt remember much. So time flies fast when you're at crowded places, by 5+pm, all except Ger and Den were sitting outside the convention hall to just laze around. And to oogle at girls. LoL, I didn't do too much though. No mood LOL. So getting back straight to the topic, Ger spent 3 hrs to pay his hard disk. Yeah 3 hrs, cause of some malfunction or system crash. So, people had to queue A LOT LONGER to pay for their items.

Finally at 8+pm, we went for dinner at BK located near Marina Square, cause we're walking in circles for bus no.196, and we're too hungry to move. So we went to BK, after Long John's announced that," WE'RE CLOSED." After dinner, some of us were still famished. Can't blame us, cause we're undergoing puberty~. We took the MRT back to Bedok for supper, except for Mau, who had to return home for Fish n Chips. So the remaining few, Zap, Den, Ger and me got some cold desert and just chit-chatted. Felt kinda fun~ XD. Anyway, Ger went home by 11.15pm, and the three of us remaining took
228 back. Den reached home by 12am, and me and Zap were still talking LOL. We got off, walked around, up and down and finally settling down at a Void Deck to talk. We talked all the way til 1am+. LoL, we had alot of things to catch up, and he's one of the few whom I can communicate freely and easily. And to a certain sense of Maturity. =)

First time, that I feel the need for a listening ear.

2007-03-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

For today's posting, not to mention that I was late for OGL meeting at 7am, I was surprised that I woke up at 6am, survived almost the whole morning without a single trace of caffine in my blood.

Anyway, most of my CG mates remained in MJC, including those who were like they were so certain of going to ACJC, TJC, and the remaining few were stuck in some other JCs. I've heard MJC's cut off point has dropped to 10 this year, but I didn't notice how serious the consequences were until I found out so many of my friends can't qualify for MJC. I'm lucky to qualify and remain in MJC. Excluding this idiotic friend who was so certain that he'll enter TJC (With 10 pts), that he only entered TJC as 1st choice. The other 11 choices were left blank. So now he's appealing in...From Yishun JC. No offence to Yishun JC though.

Recently, I'm having a streak of depression. Yeah, you've heard right. For God Damned Reasons I do not know of, I feel exhausted (maybe from insufficient sleep), empty and yeah, depressed. Damned! For a guy to feel depress is like to question his gender LOL. But I just can't help it. Geminis, they come in pair right? Or it's like what I speculated. Geminis are born incomplete. Many spend their life searching for the other half. So I assume this is what gives us Geminis the Drive, or even purpose to live on. Sad Sad. This is what Life is all bout'.

Time and Time again, every dinner, has to end.

2007-03-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be the day where we, the 'O' level graduates will know where we'll be posted to.

Though', it won't be as heart-stopping as the 'O' level results release, it's still...kinda sad.

Through the 3 months in JC, I've met great people, beautiful people, geniuses, jokers, people who are self-high, and also like always, weird/horrible/God damned people. But those are of the minority. I love my JC, and I like the people there. Mostly.

So to wherever you people are posted to, please do remember that Friends, will be Friends for ever, regardless of the different path we'll head down in Life. May you all love, and be loved.

Bloody Hell. I was Ganked today.

2007-02-28T23:35:00.001+08:00

Today had to be one of the scariest days in my life.

I was GANKED. Freakin' GANKED. Not by just a few people. It was like... THE WHOLE CLUB. Holy.

God knows, or even remember when and where in the world did I reveal so much information to my Biz Club seniors. Now I'm screwed. Totally! Cause some the "satellite dishes" got hold of these vital information and broadcast it ALL OVER the club. Apparently, it was the signal for the attack. And dude, massive it was.

Without warning, I was swarmed and verbally attacked with questions. It was horrendous. It's like being interrogated, by everyone I knew.

It all started, like usual, Rosalind and I were always bickering, and for some magical reason, she just went, "Libra Girl~! Libra Girl~!...." Disaster struck. There was NO salvation! Even my cousin got the slightest clue of my love interest. Oh Goody. There's more. I don't even know, or want to know how Kian Yet got hold of this info. Like what all standard satellite dishes, they broadcast the info they recieve to the world. Worse, he trying his very best to find out bout' her identity and even attempted to blackmail me sia!

Ok, so now MOST of the club members know my little secret, but I don't think they'll remember it. I hope. But Kian Yet...HAIZ, BIG problem. Massive headache. All I can hope for is that he was joking. Doing a really, really bad joke.

You're my Sunshine~

2007-02-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, was a great day. Well, I think it's her. All cause I had the chance to look at her for a while.

Like every tuesday, she'll be in the same LT for H1 Econs, so I'll try my very best to stare across the LT to just catch a few glance at her. Well, yeah, few glances. I DO listen to lectures! So, after the 50 mins, I mostly won't get a chance to see her again that day. Apparently, not for that day. Not for that day.

After PE, I caught up with my Damai Classmates, and chit chat a little. Anyway the 4 of us were taking the same bus, and they were discussing the Econs and Maths test we had that morning. It was this moment, that something caught my eye. It was her. I'm rarely wrong LOL. Well, her classmates happened to be just a few rows away from us, and she was joining them. I was left breathless. Well I don't know, I may have asthma or something. While my classmates discussed, I was glancing at her lor. I'm not a pervert or anything, but ironically my facial shape don't agree. This is what She and our classmates from Damai said before, when we're still in Damai. Wow I remember this til today.

I cant type out the feeling I had when I was glancing at her. Cause I cant describe well for peanuts. Sadly, I dont know how to approach her. Afterall, we didn't communicate much, so we don't know each other that well. I'm shy, that's why. But it hurts there, and I just dont know why. Regardless of this weird pain, her smile just made my day, like always. Her smile would wipe out all of my fatigue, all of my unhappiness, all of my worries. For that moment, perhaps short, I felt wonderful. Cause I saw beauty. But it also occured to me that, this whole thing, may be doomed from the start. Reality and Time are very unmerciful. Do we have such opportunities to prove this wrong?

So this is what CNY is all about...

2007-02-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Well, been busy recently, so the post bout CNY was delayed. Sorry.

Erm, this year's CNY was around the same, except that it felt, or it lack, the traditional CNY spirt or atmosphere. This CNY felt like some 2 days worth of holiday to slack, catch up with school work, go around for angbaos.

Reunion dinner, or lunch in this case, was around the same. Ah Ma(Dad's side) cooked the same old stuffs, I ate the same old stuffs, met my cousins (This year Ah Gor didn't come, cause her eldest daughter was touring Australia, 2nd daughter downed with THE AVIAN FLU. Chicken Pox. The youngest son did came with Li Bei though, collected the ever early AngBaos, and slacked there lor. Small TV set, laid down / Old fashioned interior design, breeze, all checked. Perfect for slacking. And man, did it felt good.

The evening was reserved for my Ah Gong, Mom's side. So, beside from my Big Aunt who's always overseas during CNY, my other relatives came lor. The steamboat, was the like the same as last's year. In fact, every year. So, apart from that, there's this SMALL Bbq/grilling tray on some steamboat machine. Sounds weird, but it's like Bbq/Grill and Steamboat all in one pot, and I dont know the name of this marvellous mechanism. But seriously, this year's CNY eve lack kick. I acutally wasted the whole night playing GoW there. So it's like always, Jack lugging his Xbox/360 to someone's house JUST to use their TV sets to play games. Multiplayer games*.

Well, the only time I went out during the CNY was to a family friend, Guo Xiang Uncle's house. Like always, the others came too. Except some of children LOL. So not that I'm anti-social, game addicted or anything, but I wished I have had not listen my dear Mom bout' not bringing the 360 to his house. IT WAS BORING. Nothing to do, the adults just did their stuffs lor. Chit Chat, etc. In fact, I don't know what the heck they did there. The children, well played cards. I'm not a fan of cards. Les, Josh and I chit chat quite long, and I DO mean long, but relatively short compared to the adults. But to be stuck there for bout 10 hrs, with ABSOULTELY NO ACTIVITIES to do, I dozed off lor. Anyway it's freakin' boring. I can't seem to recall what activites we did there.

I don't know going to Ck's house was counted as a CNY house visit, but it's for a Bbq party. He got his whole family and relatives there, and yeah, the usual 4 (us). Ck, Den and Cle started the Bbq early, bout 12pm. Being a "responsible" OGL, I participated in the CSI: DNA trial. Well, it was boring, WnW exhausted me, so the whole CSI thingy, I was like a walking zombie. Serious. Damn exhausted sia.

So the OGL camp ended at bout 4~5, then I went home for a quick bath. Well I wanted to take a quick bath before going to Ck's, but apparently, exhaustion took the better of me. "POOF!", collasped on bed sleeping. Thankfully I woke up at 7pm+, so after gearing up, I left straight for his home. I took this opportunity to try out the new jacket which I bought just before CNY (Apart from during the last morning of OGL camp, I was FREAKIN' cold due to bathing in the morning with no heater). Like always, and for God Damn reasons like I care, my dear brother had to always "comment" on my dressing. I dont know whether it's just a casual remark, or strong critisism or sarcasm, but from the way he phrased it, it sounded like," Dude, you look f**king retarded like that. OWNED."

Heck him. I was wearing my jacket cause I was cold (OGL camp made me physically sick), and I wore my cap cause of bad hair day. I cant style my hair for peanuts. No styling instinct or talent in this case. But I did know something, I did'nt look like crap that day. Well apart from lookiing a little beng lah. But time was short! So anyway, when I reached there, it was like everyday in school. We just did the daily routine LOL. It stretched all the way til 12am. We got alot to catch up, you see. But anyway I tio attacked by the others bout "her" again. LIKE EVERYTIME. HAIZ damn sian. I regretted telling them. Wait, I was drunk when I told them! LoL bad joke. Bad joke.

One Cheer is not enough!
Two Cheers are not enough!
Three Cheers and Three Cheers to CK's mom!
HIP HIP HURRAY!
HIP HIP HURRAY!

Thanks for that AngBao. Although you did'nt have too.

'Massive' Blog Update Day

2007-02-17T22:31:00.000+08:00

The days just came and left, time flew so quickly nowadays. With a blink of an eye, it's Chinese New Year's Eve already.

Let me see, what a "eventful" week we had:

1) (Happy) Valentine's Day
2) Total Defence Day
3) Chinese New year
4) Oh yeah, I just got my 360.

So, it's choked with events, and hell yeah, they're fun!

Total Defence Day
For Total Defence Day, well, it's like every year which they show some WW2 video, except the vids get more and more graphic, and darker as the years go by. Anyway the vid which was presented this year was, well a little Sadistic I must say. Showing of execution of Chinese POWs, displaying of severed heads, dead babies, mutilated bodies etc. Feels a little like GoW, and yeah it's sadistic.

CNY Celebration
For this year's CNY, I must say it rocked. Apart from the horrible fact that we're suppose to wear House Tee (Which is Black), awesome celebrations, performances. Thanks to all who helped in the MJC CNY celebration. You earned my respect. LoL.

The celebration was quite long, and the whole cohort was split into 2 groups, and this resulted in my class landing a spot at the front of the stage. The others were hushed into different LTs, and I THINK* that the performances were "beamed live" there. The hosts were ok, and that Malay lady wearing a CheongSam, whom I believe to be from Atlas, was a little over Enthu. Look Lady, we know you're hot/enthu/excited but to like sexualize the whole thing with dancing/flirting or whatever it's call, IT'S COOL HAHA. Her CheongSam spilt a little too high, I must say.

I didnt get horny though XD, mature liao. The House performances was great, though Miranda could have done a little better, the Chinese Cultural Society performed a nice skit bout life in MJC? But the performances which blew me away, was from the Malay and Indian Cultural Societies. They may originated from different race or religions or traditions, but to do such mind blowing, awesome and entertaining performaces, I just had to smile and rejoice. Their enthusiasm and heart warming performances just made my day. The Malays did some kind of "traditional" cheering act, and there's this plump lady who could just SING! The Indians had shown me the power of Indian Music and Dance moves. POWER! Speaking of dance, I remembered the dance did by the Dance Club. I met this girl, who well, erm kinda interested in the teddies which Biz Club sold (I was at the booth), who would had known she was from Dance Club...Man she could dance! The way she dance was so hot, that the roof could have been on fire!

I got my 360! Finally!
I got my 360 just a few days back, at Toa Payoh Courts. Well it's because I've seen the DOA4 pack there, and Toa Payoh is a nice place to go, so I went there to buy my 360 lor. The whole purchasing process was a little too long, haha, but it kinda showed me that Courts goes to extreme measures to attract customers, and safeguard and satisfy the customers' needs. The guy, Brandon, who did the whole purchasing process for us, was very professional I must say. Never failing to smile, was very friendly I must say, and this is one shining example of Good Service. It makes me feel proud to be in Biz Club Lol. I also recall, when my mom wanted to check the validity of the vouchers, he just did it, only to find out that they have expired, like for 13 days already. Anyway we finished the whole purchasing process (Invoice, warranty etc), but he suggested us to perhaps, change the DOA4 pack to the EA pack which was on sale. Well, being biased to Big Breasted Game Video Babes and not a great, big fan of EA Games, I stuck to my decision with the DOA4 pack. Anyway it was getting late, and I had school the next day.

And who could have forgot...Valentine's Day
This year's Valentine's Day is perhaps the most fun, yet most embarrassing one I had so far. Firstly, after attending the first lesson, I seeked permission to go home early due to some severe stomachache, thus being unable to pass the gift to my mortal (A game did by the 4th Student Council to promote FriendShip Day), and ahem. Pass my gift to her lor. Well after surviving 45 mins of Bus Trip back home (My parents were not sympathetic nia. "Sick ar? Come home now lor."), going to visit the doctor (The lady at the desk, she's from my primary school, and she praised me for taking few MCs. Wait til she hears the truth LOL), getting my MC. I proceeded back to school. Well, I had a Biz Club meeting at 2.30pm that day, and I had a gift to pass to my mortal, well so I just went back to school lor. They're not the main reason though.

Reaching school at bout' 2.15pm (I volunteered to help out at 1.45pm, but I got to see Doc nia, cant blame me!), everyone was going home with flowers. This indicates the end of the Angel & Mortal game. Screwed. Mortal! It's not that your Angel is lazy or what, it's just that, Angels DO need to take MCs every once in a while... So anyway, I went for the Biz Club meeting, which proved to be horrendous. Not that it was did badly or anything, but I was still sick. The Medicine was making me drowsy. Overtime, I lost my senses and collasped on the desk, sleeping.

By the time I woke up, it's 5.30pm. I took a while to recompose myself, and after some dragging around, I went to Perkcafe for a "secret" mission. Well, it took me a while to approach XJ to ask bout "her", and the MOST IRONIC THING I've ever heard is," Oh, She's not in school today. She's ill."

I was like....WTH? I came back to school in search for her, but she's resting at home. I made a wasted trip T.T, I wasted an afternoon T.T, oh well, heck it. Well God is making a fool out of me, cause things are not going smoothly for me with her. I think I'll need professional help for wooing, LOL.

Haiz, it's kinda torturing to have your emotions, logic, dual personalities fighting each other out over this issue. I never recieved a straight answer. I got a 'I don't Know'. Well I think for me to be so "direct", may have stunned or even shocked her, but to have the lack of relevant data, is little hard for me. Sometimes it makes me wonder, what makes me feel attracted to her. Life's full of questions, haiz XD

The simpler it seems, it gets more complicated.

2007-02-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

Time flies when you're not noticing. Come to think of it, it's just a few months ago that I'm "mugging" for the Os, and now, I'm probably going to a JC. More Stress, more work, have no life for bout 2 years.

I got back my results today, and well I kinda expected this result, but some subject's grades just surprised me. Combined Humanities = A2. WOAH! Blew me away. And my English actually got a A1, kinda shocking. Well my sciences grades were kinda damping, cause I expected the most from them. Oh well, I admit. I took them for granted during the O level mugging period.

It would seem that I'm over obsessed with school spirit, afterall I'm one of the few who wore the school uniform there. Ok, not the whole uniform, cause it was to hot and "uncomfy" for me, so a PE shirt and long school pants. It's nice to see everyone again, and what I saw today blew me away. Yeah, the girls were beautiful, but what really, really blew me away, was her. Well, she stood out. Ok I'm biased, but heck it.

Til now, I cant just bring myself to just ask her out. Well, this may be due to low self-esteem, cause I admit, I'm not comfortable with everyone staring at me, crowds etc. Or maybe, I'm too business orientated. No confidence, no reliable data, all these equates to.... No decision made.

Today, well, was too crowded. And... It seems that this whole thing, was doomed from the start. Tomorrow? God Knows.

Words cant define Love.

2007-01-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

Bored and feeling empty, I was fiddling round' the net til I happened to chance upon this message which I saw long ago.

Gemini & Libra

When Air meets Air, love is a breeze. This refreshing, carefree duo sparkles with optimism. Gemini's sociability reinforces Libran elegance. In the outer world, they are graceful and entertaining dancing partners, complementing and understanding each other perfectly. They love communication, outings, travel, surprises. Libra appreciates the conjugal bond, but is delicate enough to let Gemini decide for him or herself. In any case, their daily life together is such a joy they are inseparable...

Is this true? If yes, I'll be overjoyed. It would indicate that, it exists. But it's up to One to determine the truth of this message. I'm not a big believer of Horoscope, but it does influence my life to a certain degree. But it's great to believe in something, right?

The Process Of Thinking Could Be Lethal

2007-01-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

No matter how fun JC life is, the stress of leading this kind of life just keep appearing, no matter how hard you tried to con yourself into believing that it's imaginary, no big deal or is normal.

Well, it's very different from Secondary School life. Indeed. It's always contradictary, cause I like stress, yet I hate too much of it. Gemini traits ? God knows.

Many argue that we should THINK more, but that is not necessarily a good thing. My ideas, my so called thinking, is starting to affect my life. I, erm, cant focus. I feel overloaded with ideas. Yet, I feel empty within. Weird, I know. I dont express myself well, so this explains why I dont really talk to people seriously.

Lacking of confidence is another thing. It's not that kind of academic confidence. Confidence in front of strangers, friends, school mates. It's the confidence to pursue what you want. This question, has been stuck in my brain for a while now. I dont really know how to approach this question. Well, is it meant to be? Does God really exist ? Fate ? Luck ? To ask for a sign from a Being concealed from our eyes. There's no physical evidence to prove his existence, yet I do believe. Why? I would wonder sometimes.

Music feeds my soul. Movies help me visualize. Games allow me to live a different life. Well, I guess they do reflect my personality to a certain degree. I find it hard to even understand myself.

I guess this is one of the reason to why I like to sleep/laze so long in bed. I can just isolate myself from the world, not necessarily from the world to embark on a journey in mine, but...To just feel. Nothing.

Listening to Moody Music soothes the Broken Soul

2007-01-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

Life's going through some weird modifications; Isolation of Classmates (And I don't know the reason why?!), the SUDDEN enthusiasm for JC related activites, Bus no. 58 seems to never come on time when I finally decided to take that bus service to JC (I'm late fro bout' 6 times in 3 weeks o.O!).

But somethings never changes. Brother still sucks, act retarded, goes around calling people G@Y when he's OBVIOUSLY one himself. Parents have really poor, sucky conflict solving skills (I dont even think they possess any). I still think alot and randomly, causing some of my nervous functions to go haywire T.T

Well, listening to some Halo MP3s, spewing insults at my brother through blogging...I feel kinda better =D. Fucking retard has to always pick a fight. No balls to I must add.

Whatever bout' that pathetic existence, at most he'll come read my blog and does his usual shit dance again, possibly tomorrow. I rather spend my time oogling at the girls of MJC LOL. Erm that was meant to be a cold joke LOL.

Edited*

As a Gemini, and as reality knocks maturity in this guy, there'll be mixed feelings for my famliy relationships (But thank God (Should you exist), I have a beautiful, cute sister XD, who resembles me in certain ways). It's something like being insecure. Lacking confidence. And worse, my thinking and logic differs from many. I wonder though, what kept my mind; my soul going, although it seems everything from all aspects of Life is against me?

*Yo Retard! Care to comment using your REAL name? Don't post anonymously. That's equilavent to having NO BALLS.

Seeking an Answer, for a Question that I do no know

2007-01-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

Well, I got my OGL form, so I guess I'll join the next Orientation as an OGL. Hopefully my O level grades will be sufficient to get me to Meridian JC, cause I'm starting to love this place. The environment is nice. The people there are nice. It's a far cry from my Primary and Secondary schools, there were some memorable occasions, but it's the people. There have to be this group of people, who have to practically ruin everyone's day through immature actions.

This few days, I'm seeking an answer, to a question, which I do not know. It just something, not visible by the naked eye, audible by our ears, and ironically, it's something I even DO not know of. It's just there, bothering me.

Oh well. Settle this Xbox 360 proposal fast, prepare for the college race and OGL thingy =D, and for CNY to come. I can't wait for 4E1 reunion at Mrs Oon's house. I just can't wait.

The Void Within

2007-01-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm a little "busy" and lazy to blog bout' my JC Orientation, but I THINK I'll post it up sometimes. Afterall it's fun.

I believe, although it's some kind of propaganda by the school, that at least I got some chance to actually enjoy some freedom. Geminis value their Freedom alot. And I DO meant alot. I'm thinking of whether to join in as an OGL (Orientation Group Leader) for the Orientation Camp after the 1st 3 months. A part of me is dying to join. Another, is reluctant, half-hearted.

I've met some WONDERFUL people, made some new, WONDFERFUL friends, but I still can't shake that feeling of emptiness inside me. I'm beginning to isolate myself from everyone. Not a bad sign. But, I just can't help it. It's like some evil Jedi using the evil "Force" to control my mind and actions. But I can't just shake it off.

Extreme Boredom? Lack of sleep? Lack of Porn? LoL that third part is some joke. A really cold one indeed.

So anyway bout' that being empty inside. I've many theories bout' that, but Heck, too much thinking is scary! But the thing is. Is it because of her? The more I think bout' it, the more confused I get.

Dude I SERIOUSLY wish that there's a Xbox360 and Gears Of War for me to indulge in now T.T, to curb me from thinking bout' this so hard.

A early message : Happy 1/17 Day ~ OneOneSe7en~ Halo rules my World! For now*

Truth & Reconciliation.

2007-01-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

Life's complicated if you don't accept the way it is. It is not perfect.

Possessing 2 minds in 1 body. 2 different thinkings. 2 different personalities. 2 different interest. 2 different life. It's exhausting once in a while. It's weird.

I will show them. I will. But I fear, I lack the strength. Fear of failure.

Fear. Exhaustion. Confusion. Hatred. Love.

What keeps One going? Not many knows.

What is that I desire so badly? Companions? Achievements? Enjoyment?

Is it the desire to Love, or be Loved ?

"I? I am a monument to all your sins.
This one is machine and nerve and has its mind concluded.
This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded.
There is much talk, and I have listened, through rock and metal and time. Now I shall talk, and you shall listen."

"Fate had us meet as foes, but this ring will make us brothers."

"...I have walked among men and angels for three thousand years. Time has no end... no beginning... no purpose.

I wander the earth, seeking forgiveness for my horrible crimes against God and man.

I live to see death, destruction, over the light, but the light cannot be extinguished.

I live in a prison of my own demise.

I am lost in time... (repeats)"

"Oracle! What is Halo's purpose?"
The Covenant fell from within. Betrayal. Mistrust. Conspiracy. Death.

Malaysia Trip 06

2007-01-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

Somewhere around December 06, possibly around the 16th, Me and my family, family friends and some family friends' family went on a 4 day, 3 night to Malaysia.

Well I wasn't really thrilled bout this whole thing, cause of work (I actually got a little Addicted to work =.=) and some other,other reasons.

So it was Saturday morning, my uncle came to ferry my family and my cousins to the meeting point. Conincedentally, the meeting point, a hotel was named "Meridian Hotel". My JC of choice was Meridian JC LoL.

With only 1 hours plus of sleep, I surprised myself by not falling asleep til we reached Malaysia at 4~5pm+. I wonder why. Anyway, went there, meet up, bus came, went up the bus, went to 2nd Link: Tuas, stuck in a 2~3 hours Jam, on our way to K.L Malaysia.

For the trip, Uncle Xue Quan and his famliy came. To tell you the truth, I didnt expect them to come. Firstly, everyone just knew each other of like a few months. Secondly, I JUST didnt expect them to come. So yeah, WHATEVER LES SAYS, JX came too. Well she's pretty and so on, I noticed her, communicated a little. During the trip to K.L, there was a Jam at the 2nd link. To how big it is, I don't know cause during this whole time, I was at the 1st floor of the bus, in this room doing stuffs. Yes, the bus has 2 levels. The 1st floor is mainly for storage, and there's a small room for the kids. There were magazines, and I actually found Maxim SG there. Wow.

So during the trip there, the kids were playing cards while I listen to my MP3, lazing around. What surprised me was how well JX managed the kids. I think I lost my touch with kids, or maybe it's because they've all grown up. So yeah, that's during the ride to the 2nd link only. After that, most of us remained in our comfy seats on the 2nd level. There were TVs too! I watched a few shows, but it's because I was bored.

So when we reached our stop, Istana Hotel, it was bout' 4~5pm+. We'll suppose to have dinner at 6+, but oh well, the hotel room was VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE and COOL, so after watching some National Geographic Show bout Planes landing/flying vertically, I dozed off. So I was woke up by knocking on the doors by Josh. I was late for dinner and everyone was waiting for me. Dude this is bad. So anyway, the whole group went to Lot 1 Shopping mall for dinner. It was at some Food Court, but the choices are limited. So again, the guys will seat together to bullshit around, except Les was with his familt, my cousins with my bro, so me and Josh only.

So anyway after the dinner, we went to shop. Sadly, it was not Times Square, and the shopping mall we went to felt a little like City Plaza. That was this time curfew, and with me lacking $, I wasnt really into this shopping thingy, so I followed Josh/Les and their family. I wasnt particullarly interested in joining my family. It's dysfunctional and tiresome. So blah blah blah, the main draw is that, Malaysia has Xbox360!!!!!! Saw some nice clothes, tried some, bought some coffee, Josh attempted to smuggle/buy hair dye, but who knew that his mom bought him one first ?

So after that, went back to hotel, and "Sleep". I slept at 4.30am, cause Josh and Les wanted me to go over to discuss Maple Story. Guild names, IGNs etc. Talked til 3.30am LOL, and I took bout an hour to bath, cause the bathroom of Istana, was like MASSIVE. Not the biggest, but BIG. The whole bathing time, felt good.

The next day, LoL i cant recall much. Late for Breakfast, erm then.... some exploring of K.L, Petrona Towers, then it struck. STOMACHACHE =.= =.= =.=.

I rushed to the shopping mall located AT the Petrona Towers for toilet. Bad experience, horrible stomachache. But there's Kinokuniya there =D =D =D, and Golden Village. LOL? But anyway it was a short shopping trip, cause we had to leave for Colmar Tropicale later. Tragedy struck again. Sophia (Les's Sis) lost her Beanie. I think it's a HIGH probability that it's me or my dad who lost it. She was angry and cried. Wept. Something like that. It felt terrible to see a girl cry. But anyway matter's solved. Period. Later on.

So on the trip up to Colmar Tropicale (it's located near Genting), I was pissed and everyone could see that. I was listening to my MP3 attempting to cool down, but it was taking a freakinly long time. But weird enough, JX was sitting behind me. I felt better. More at ease. LoL.

So I'll make this short. The Hotel and it's surrounding have this Medival Castle/French village feeling (Afterall it's also called 法国村). My room was ok, toilet was ok. I played Bowling, archery, Paintball (I got a Blu-Black as a souvenior) and the arcade. There were 2 arcades, but they can improve. ALOT. Those machines are like 10 years old le.

So besides the lack of sleep for 4 days straight, the whole 4 day trip was cool. And being late for breakfast DOES pay off. The others have to wait for 10~20 mins for a seat. I just went in, took my own sweet time to take the food and just seat.

I can just say this whole Colmar Tropicale is big, and COLD ! I LIKE! The shuttle Bus has no doors de LOL ! We have to take shuttle bus to Bowling centre Etc LOL! THE WEATHER IS FREAKIN COOLL~!

During the trip back, I spent the entire time at that room in the bus. Well some other friends joined me, but it's weird though. JX was with us, and it's weird. I got this weird, weird feeling. I felt at ease, comfortable. Like I have no care/worries for anything else. It's a feeling, I felt like for the few times in my life. Wow. Funny, ironic.

That's all for today, LoL. Maybe I'll write more posts later.

Some back-dated Invoices. Wait I meant entries.

2006-12-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

Well this's some back dated entries that apparently, Les is desperate for me to post it up here.

I forgot when this event happened, but I'll make it short.

-Trip to central Library (The "new" National Library) for the Nanyang Neo Clan Association of Singapore's 75th Special photo exhibition.

-Invited Les over.

-After the exhibition, went to the library to browse at the books.

-Borrowed 2 books with Les's card (Science goes to war, Antimatter)

-Went to Bugis Junction for the 2nd time in my life. Got lost there, and talked a little bout' Les's relationship and my ever-confusing/messed-up life.

-Ate at a crowded food court, talked more stuffs. Went on a "killing spree' with Sniper Rifles Eyes targetting at beautiful/gorgeous babes. Well it became like a routine when we hang out. Keeps our minds sharp and alert. Asked Les bout' Blog, and he recommended his elder sister to help.

11th Dec 2006

On my quest to obtain the knowledge to make a GOOD/AWESOME blog through the use of BlogSkin, music and so on, I went to Les's house, which is located somewhere near Boon Lay MRT station. I was told (By Him) that his Elder sis was experienced in such area, so I went to their house seeking her help.

As small Singapore may seem, the trip to Boon Lay can take a very long time. Well based on our Singaporean Terms, "Very Long" means bout'.... 30mins to 1hr++

The good thing bout' that trip:
-I was dropped at Aljunied MRT Station, which means shorter travelling time to Boon Lay.

The bad thing:
-Stuck in some "Talk/Discussion" bout' my Surname, 梁 (Neo). Well, the whole thing was boring, cause I didn't understand a single a thing our China Guests said. My dad too.

-After 2 hours stuck in that "Talk", I was apparently dropped at Aljunied MRT Station cause it's the nearest to the Nanyang Neo Clan Association Main Office. Trying to ignore the fact that an hour was wasted on Dad doing something which I dont really care, and it' bout' 6~7pm+ when I reached the Station. This means, I'll only have less than 2 hours to do my blog. So, this sucks. Whatever.

Blah, Blah, Blah, reached the Boon Lay Station at bout' 7~8pm+. The sky was freakin'ly Dark. I was pissed. Apparently I just dashed for Les's house under 10mins, which I think was some good personal record based on the fact that his house...Was not as near as I just said to the MRT Station.

Reaching his house, I was like SO ready to get my blog reconstruction going on til, Les told me he had to go to his friend's birthday party. And I remembered, he said it's a SHORT one. Well I'm not really a Ladies' men, and being stuck in his house with his 2 other sisters, it's awkward. Anyway he dragged me out to his friend's birthday party.

We took a long time to reach his friend's house, cause Les was like walking aimlessly around. And it was NOT near to his house. It's like walking from 1 end of Boon Lay to another. So when we finally did reach his house, it's 8~9pm+. Followed him into the house and into the small room cramped with a few other friends. 5 of them if I remembered correctly. Man the Birthday Boy, Julius was living the life! Playing his Maple Story here, and have a TV set (Not a big one though) just left next to him. It was less that 30cm away !

There they talked their stuff. I was like some stranger who entered the wrong party. Apparently they decided to go to Arena Country Club for a bowling session. That's where me, Josh, Les and our families go to to have our occasional badminton matches. Josh's rich by the way. To hang out with such "unique" friends was a new experience for me, and kinda retarded. But fun. So we took a bus, went there, only to find out that...the whole bowling centre was full. WTH! We had to wait at least 30mins to play. That was around 8~9pm++.

Tragedy struck. Birthday Boy Julius lost his wallet. And from what Les said bout him always have to lose something every once in a while, I had to say this. He lost his wallet. AGAIN.

So while we waited at the bus stop, the other guys (Julius and the other friends) went on each and every bus (193 if I remembered correctly) to search for his wallet. Sad thing is, he never found it. Bad thing is, it was 9~10+pm. And they still wanted their bowling game, although I was pressing for time to rush home for work the next day. During the time when Julius and gang were searching the buses, Les and I went to look for Josh. From what Les said, Josh had some class party going on at the Arena Country Club Chalet. Hence, we decided to crash the party. We went to search for the room (It's easy cause there's only 8 of them there LoL), only to hear this kind of crap. Les's fault by the way.

From Les's Blog :

When we two reached one of the rooms,i knocked on it and asked,"hi...is there a joshua gay here?" three girls and 1 guy just pop out of the room and said" whos that?" when Me & Jack seriously heard that Josh saying "WTF!" then nevermind...They acctually went back to their room and screamed..." Help!~ Ah Beng ar!~so scary!~" we two was like-lets get the hell of out here!...

Yep, that was bout it. So after this incident, and Julius giving up his search for the wallet, we went to bowl. Due to some weird fracture like pain in my right arm, I decided not to bowl. Cause I had work to think bout'. I played in the arcade nearby for a while, but those machines were old. Very Old. Time Crisis (1), Metal Slug 3...Yeah it's old.

After the whole bowling thingy, it's 11.15pm. HOlY COW! Last MRT is at 11.30pm, and not to mention the buses to reach home. Due to the ever horrible fact that Bus 193* comes only every 15~30 mins, these guys decided to walk back home. Yeah you heard me right. Walk.

While walking back. 1. 2. 3 Buses went past us. And we gave chase to catch up the buses in a desperate attempt. Well we missed it all, and I got a good workout too. I don't run often nowadays. After finally walking back to the HDB area, (Arena is apparently located around the Industrial Park area. Just beside Singapore Discovery Centre) some guys went their way home. Only Les, Nigel, Yik Loong and I were left. And I just love to say this.

"LES, YOU'RE SO SCREWED. "

He was responsible for his sisters' dinner. And it was 8pm+ when we left. When we're walking back to his house, it's bout' 11 reaching 12pm. Well at bout' that time, I gave up hope of ever making back home that night, so I decided to camp at Les' house for the night. My $30 is gone~. Not to mention a FREAKINGLY LOW pay T-T

After buying dinner for his sisters, the 4 of us continued on our way back home. I forgot who started this whole Sex/Porn/Girls/Guys conversation, but my suspected culprit was Les. This whole conversation, I must say, was AWESOME. It's a LMAO, LOL, ROFL experience. Nigel spat his drink out, I almost choked on my drink, Les and Yik laughing their asses off. Man that's cool.

Anyway we went on our separate ways, and Les and I went back to his house. Well I could see that his dad and mom were a little surprised to see me there at such time, and more surprised that I'm staying there for the night. Well, I didn't sleep at all til 9am. This whole not sleeping thingy, I seemed comfortable with it. Les got knocked out at 5am, his elder sis was knocked out at 6~7am. His 2nd elder sis was sleeping away when we reached home.

At the wee hours of morning, I was getting "educated" on blogskins. music insertion etc. Bad thing is, elder sis don't use Blogspot. Now I need to find someone else to help me. Apparently for the whole time spent not sleeping, I was like playing Maple Story, cause it's the only thing I could do.

I slept at 9am, woke up at 1pm, and went home at 2pm+. Well since I took that day off, I decided to go to Orchard's Kinokuniya BookStore to look at some books. Particullarly the Halo Graphic Novel =D

Me and Les took the MRT from Boon Lay to Bedok, took the bus back to my home. Apparently due to yesterday's not sleeping enough experience, Les was too exhausted to go to Orchard. I was still feeling ok. So we just played Xbox, Maple Story and stuffs.

At 7pm+, I sent Les back home, but not before dinner =D
He needed help with getting to the Bedok MRT LoL.

Death Note

2006-12-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

Well this two days were practically normal, with occasional fun from stress and challenges from my job, but I noticed some things.

It's littered with Deaths. First, being in a advertising firm equates to tons and tons of newspapers for you to read. The NewPaper yesterday reported of 2 deaths(Sudden deaths?), one, a father-to-be and another, a cabbie and a dad.

Late last night, I heard the news of a South Korean Jockey killed in a freak accident during the Dubai Asian Games 06', involving his horse, rainy weather, a low wall and resulting in brain dead.

Today, The Ghost Whisperer had to rub it in. 243 deaths in just 2 days (Well if you include those 240 passengers who died in the plane crash in the show), and this is bloody insane. Is it some kind of sign, phenomena? Plus that shocking incident yesterday, and the book which I happened to borrow recently, what does it mean? Does it mean God exist and is giving signs? Clues? Or guidance? The Book, stated that Man invent things (In times of War) to kill each other faster, easier and in larger numbers. In the past few centuries, many are lost in the name of scientific progression? That Man technologically advanced rapidly due to Wars?

I watched Full Metal Alchemist, an anime. Alphonse Elric stated that, to obtain something you must trade something equal in value. This is called something like Alchemical Equillibrium ? I forgot the term.

This death issue going on is getting onto me. I plan to live on forever~

Icy Cold Gemini

2006-12-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

This is the first post, and probably the dumbest, under the new site name

Icy-Cold-Gemini.Blogspot.Com

This sudden change is due to that ever pesky brother reading/harressing me and my blog as that guy has no life at all to boot! Doing a blog is gay? How bout' READING one? EVERYDAY? Almost every other hour? Dude, you need a life! And stop taking photos of yourself cause it's dumb and man, those pics look awful. I respect you by not showing them out to public. YET. And please respect my privacy. There's a limit to my patience de.

Anyway this blog name is used to represent my thinking/life/feelings currently, and dude! Les said it sounded COOL, so I went ahead lor (I thought of that name myself =D).

Going to change blog skin soon, and MAY add some other features in too.

Just only $0.55 to get a shock of your life. Plus the bonus of exhaustion, hallucination etc~

2006-12-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today's my 3rd day at MediaTron advertising, job's kinda easy/simplistic. Admin jobs, checking of invoices, typing in AP, doing letters. Did that, done that. HENG it's less strenuous compared to my first time working there. Phone calls keep ringing in, sometimes 3~5 calls in a row.

"Morning MediaTron! How can assist you?" - Repeats every 1 or so minute for 8 hours a day

Yep, those were the days. Accompanied by 4 months of invoices/check payment etc urgently needed to be cleared. I went there by 9am, only to return home at bout 7~8pm+. Normal working hours was 9am-6pm, and it's $3 too T-T. But still got OT bonus, so it's not so bad ($3 per hour also...)

It's been a while since I get this fuzzy, drowzy, light headed, blur blur feeling. I experienced this kind once in a while, with the period when I'm working most distinctive. Apparently, based on my theory, it's caused by lack of sufficient rest, poor air ventilation, dusty plus sensitive nose combo. My body temperature would rise or fall depending on the pace of my work. There was once I practically froze my hands off "speed" typing AP/AC accounts. With the lack of sleep, there're some times that I almost doze off due to either working too fast, or there's nothing to do. Hey I said this time it's less hectic right? So the solution? 3 in 1 Coffee. Not Super brand, but something else. Quite a good cup of coffee, but that diabetic-hereditary issue going on in my Dad's side of family, I'm starting to worry T-T. So maybe 2~5 cups of coffee a day, depending on situations. On average it's 1 during the morning before I leave for work, 1 during work and 1 when it's almost time to go home.

So leaving the office at around 7pm today after reading some old issues of 8days in the office (It's a advertising company, so it's almost newspaper galore and all you can read for free there. I like it =D ). Listening to my MP3 at the smallest possible audible volume (My ears are getting numb. I cant hear well..), I waited for a bus. First came 66, almost crowded, so I decided against going onboard. Secondly, I almost mistook Bus no.8 as some other bus. Thirdly, Bus no.22 came.

So I got up, and took the bus home. Weird thing is, I noticed that NO ONE standing abroad wanted to grab the seat left empty (beside some uncle)for like eons, but anyway I went for the seats cause no one went for it. As the bus reached the housing area between Bedok Reservoir and Ubi, the bus got a little more crowded. My front view was obscured by some guys, so I just look at the scenaries at my right (While doing so I joked to myself that I MIGHT meet someone I know at the stop).

And who knew? There she was. I didnt even notice her coming up. No not the glittering princess I saw 2 months back, but someone I knew for my whole secondary days. She looked different from her normal usual in school look. Slightly dyed brown hair, donning some white jacket/sweater and not tying her hair up, I mistook her for someone else, man, that almost took away me soul. There I was, thinking bout' things, and I didn't really focused on her. Til she came walked up right to me. Apparently she's just moving to the back of the bus, and I noticed her, a little too late. She's less than a metre away from me when I finally like, "WTH? How come she's here?!"

Stunned, unable to at least greet properly, I was like :" AWK AWK..." like those usual idiots in love comedies. To think I laughed at those people. Getting stunned is my weakness I guess. I didn't really thought she'll be in the same bus, and worse, at a time I was TOTALLY unprepared. Exhausted, listening to MP3, like semi dozing/dreamuing state. I guess she didn't see me, but I was in a nervous wreck.

" WTH is she doing here? She went on a date or something? Went to work?"

I went AWK~AWKing for a while, and the uncle beside me was proberbly thinking that am I choking or what. After some quick thinking, I decided to do what I do best. ACT DUMB. So I continued starring blurrly outside, trying not to focus on her.

I focused on my MP3, and tried to compose myself. Took quite a while, but I can't still take my mind off her. I was TOTALLY unprepared for such things to happen, and usually I'll take a long time to analyze,think and conclude before taking any actions, and this shock will definitely cut my life-span by several years (I plan to live forever~ But having a common sense is very dampening). My heart was pounding like a train on fire, and I felt hot and nervous and was panting, not that badly though. I dont even suffer such horrible panic attack during my O lvl orals.

So just a few stops later, she got off near the Bedok Reservoir wet market. But that was a very scary experience. Looks like some foul divine intervention/trick, and man I was THAT shocked/scared. This is ironic, cause I'm trying all I can to just forget this whole crush on her issue. This just reverts the whole situation back to square one.

2006-12-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

Well been busy recently, so I just summarized everything. Mrs Kwa (Ms DeCotta) will be SO proud :). Gotta work tomorrow! Working is fun! But harmful to the body. I feel lethargic. And feverish.

Saturday - Went for a gathering (Not as huge as in thousands, bout' 30+ people) on Saturday. Bored at first, but that Ping Pong game was gorgeous XD. Listen to Uncle's Paul's "philosophy". Interesting and shocking (Cause I heard something I don't really get to hear. NO Porn here). Got appointed as the Leader for the kids and teens. All boys only.

Sunday Night - Went to the Library! Kinda bored, but there's good books =D! Ate at some 24hr cafe, though food is a little disappointing.

Monday - Went to a photo exhibition held at the new National Library, and I heard it's held by the Nanyang Neo Clan (A organization for the people with the surname 'Neo'. Bet the Tans got one too). Went to check out the library. I was expecting a larger library, after all it's a few storeys high, oh well. Borrowed 2 books (Science go to War, Anti-Matter) with Les's library card cause mine don't work. Both of us went around Bugis Junction, talked a lot. Went home late, slept late, woke up late, sleepy when going to work.

Tuesday - Went to work BY 8.30am. Thank God it's nearby. Like any other offices, aircon based, stuffy (I hate it. Especially with a sensitive nose). Due to insufficient sleep, plus the previous night of Insomania, felt feverish. And exhausted. But anyway I had fun today. Thank God no keying of invoices into the com! Just keying it in using some early 80~90s program is horrible! No undo! An error = redoing the whole invoice again! keying HUNDREDS/Thousands of invoices! Stiff Neck again T.T

Well I think I'm just gonna do it.(Thanks to Les for discussing crap with me ^^) Mustering all the courage and luck that I could get.

2006-12-02T00:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a really short day, well maybe because I woke up at 3pm+. That kind of wake up knowing that you slept a full 8 hours feeling was great! No Sinus, no digestive system problem, no severe blur blur effect(eg. Question yourself what happaned the other night; forgot you name etc.) and the afternoon felt lazy!

Well the night 2 days ago just sucks. Not going into that in detail, but I did thought about things alot. So besides from waking up today like a princess awoking from her eternal sleep (You don't see prince sleeping eternally anywhere don't you ?), drinking the sweeet, ol' cold,creamy milo (I'm trying to restrict drinking of coffee. Anyway not a big fan of it, cause it's for the caffine only), I was told we have a temple dinner later yesterday's night. So it's was around 3hours later. Not that I'm complaining, but that 3 hours seemed long, I used the net to do my daily routine of news/halo news/blogging reading, played 6 levels in Halo 2 (Awaiting H3! Chances are I won't earn enough for a Xbox360 by the end of 2006) and even took a short nap! Life without motive is boring. I don't even get to use my brain.

Like always, the temple dinner was held at some housing estates, either at carparks, basketball courts or even the road o.O . And also like always, the horrible portable toilets, me not eating due to many meat dishes served and getting so bored that i almost practically dozed off. But the only difference is, the dinner seemed to finish faster than usual?

So forgetting bout' that, I think I've decided to work for that family friend again. The job which my dad suggested was a sham, a hoax, and for a while he almost conned me, until I found it's too good to be true. $4, 6 days wk, 8 hrs day, and the best part is, I'll be so called under "Apprenticeship". So I'll be just doing manual chores, or just see how the workers do those machine parts. My uncle didn't even know that I was about to go there to work in the workshop. Not to blame my parents, but they got this all talk no action habit. 99% of the data spewing out from their mouth are either irrelevant, useless, very very unnesessary or bullshit. So thank god I was prepared for the worst.

So bout' that job that family friend's offering, it's not comfirmed yet, but chances are high, cause she asked my mom if I was still looking for a holiday job. Guess I have no choice then, cause I can only work for bout 2~3 weeks, and during a week of december I'll be in Malaysia for vacation. That's the only job which is "flexible", theorically safe and has the stable 8hrs/5days wk thingy. Well forgetting the part which I may be paid only $3 per hour, no lunch/transportation included, this should be ok. Just more admin jobs, manual labour etc.

I guess Xbox360 is a no show for me this year, afterall I took 2 months of saving $3 per hour working to save up for a Xbox 2 years ago. This time I'll need to seat down and think/consider seriously to plan out for the 360 and Wii. Oh yeah and H3 too XD

Haiz, I still need the cash I can get for the very private reason. Guess die die must get that job liao. Must plan for that meeting already, so Mrs Oon please reply asap.

-Currently surviving on Anime MP3s, Prison Break season 1. They keep me from going insane.

To engage in Job Hunting is almost Sucidal

2006-11-30T02:56:00.000+08:00

Well the desire for a well-paying, flexible holiday job has struck me again. And this time, it sucks.

Ok, I only had one working experience, which is for a family friend. I did admin work, delivery, etc. All for $3 per hour. I won't say it's measly, but I suffered backache from sitting for long hours (Ironic huh?), stiff neck (Made worse with the then Maple Addiction) and a tweaked body clock. It just became like a wake up, wash and eat, go to work, eat lunch, work, go home and have dinner, sleep kind of daily routine. It's sad. But working there for 2 months, I managed to save up to $700+ for a Xbox. It was 2, fast approaching 3 years ago. I blew my salary on the game system and games.

So now with Xbox360 out, PS3 and Wii fast approaching release date (I lost track of time. Please correct me if I'm wrong), Halo-ism and for a very personal reason, I've decided to get a job. Oh, plus I'm rotting at home, particullarly at a rapid rate due to burning out after the 'O's. This has gone so bad that I find it hard to think, and I discovered after I can't do simple, mental calculations.

Well I won't say I'm very hardworking in job finding, but I'm starting to feel stressed for my failure to secure a job (I dont want to do office/admin again). Erm, I have not did any enquires for any part time job, but when I look at The Straits Times : Classified to find a job, all I see is random data spewed all over the page. I can't find any relevant data, like what kind of job it is, how it pays, working hours and so on. Having worked once at a advertising company (My only time working), I DO know that you have to pay more to have a larger space to advertise on the Classified (I think it charges for the by rows and columns used to advertise). But please at least add some relevant data.

The internet was also kinda useless, I can't find anything good out of it. I was also so close to getting a spot at Singapore Discovery Centre (Friend's recommendation) but missed it by a nose as some guy applied for it before me. I'm starting to like :" Holy? How come my friends can get jobs easily while I have to look so hard?"

Well I've heard from younger friends that they get jobs by just walking around, asking the operation managers. So if that's the case for my friends, that I lose out already. I don't go out often due to lack of $$$, and parental stress and the stress of need to dress well. They seem to find jobs which I don't even see in the Classified. Like my cousin working in the departure hall in Changi Airport (WAH!), a classmate working at Swensen's.

My dad offered me a job to his workshop. Located as tuas, 8 hrs daily, 6 days week and $4 per hour. Not the best, but I think I have no choice but to take it. But it seems that he's joking/not sincere bout' this, cause I can sense this in many ways. Firstly, there's this "haha" or joking tone when he told me the offer. Secondly, when it comes to business/work he's damn serious. Not that time. Thirdly, he "attempted" to help me spot for jobs from the Classified. All he did was to see my choices, strike them off totally and say bullshits like hmm, no good. But anyway this act indicates that he didn't expect me to take his offer. Forthly, after being pressured by me, he said he would ask his brother (The Boss of the company) to confirm.

This sucks. And I got pissed that I used the net to find a job, to no success (Written somewhere above), and mom's nagging go up and sleep~. Anyway I don't give a damn cause my whole day was totally trashed. Apart from listening to some beautiful, melodious Japanese anime music, checking out game review websites for the lastest info on Xbox360, its games and Nitendo's Wii, the rest of the day practically was trash. Boring, noisy and troubled.

Well let's hope that some mircale will appear. I don't want to be stuck in this home.

Shanghai Trip - Day 4

2006-11-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

Well I'm gonna skip the morning, washing, eating part and jump straight to the highlights.

My dad decided on not going to Bauma 06 that Friday to relax and sight-see. Well he just wanted to act as a tour guide, cause he's been there once. So the thrio ( Plus Uncle Sim) walked on foot to the Shanghai coast (上海滩 from what my dad says), which is very, very long. Maybe as long as Orchard road, I'm not too sure of that. Not a big fan of shopping. My dad wanted to bring me to a whatever that name tunnel for the
Ahem. As I was saying, we went into the tunnel. I was greeted by this transportation thingy (I dont know how to name it), it looked like the tram which moves between Terminal 1 and 2 of Changi Airport, or that thing which you ride underwater in the mission in Halo 2 to kill the Prophet of Regret. Except smaller. So I was awed by this, but the lack of seats in it disappointed me. Only 3 seats ? There were like 7 people in it! That thing does not go underwater, but instead moves through a tunnel under the HuangPu River. There's sazzy, mind bloggling light effect. I didnt really take note of it cause I've seen this alot doing Techno music. So we got to the other side of the river, and I forgot it's the North, South, East or West of it. Anyway It looked very different from where the hotel is located.

My dad brought us to 东方明珠, sorry for the lack of translation cause I dont know its english name. Anyway we went up this tower, which I heard is used for broadcasting TV/Radio signals. So we went in, took a elevator up(Short queue surprisingly). We're bout 200+m up and the view was breath-taking. I got to see almost the whole city and partially, the HuangPu River. It's bigger than Singapore, I believe. So after the viewing, we're decided to move higher. Well, we needed to pay again to go up =.=. The ticket which my dad bought only covered the transportation fee + visual effects in the tunnel, the Marine Aquarium (AKA underwater world) and that floor of 东方明珠. Another RMB150! But anyway that's not all. We paid, and still needed to queue to more up =.= =.= =.=

The queueing process was 30 mins long. And what seriously pissed me off was, we're going up in a lift? How is it going to transport the masses up and down effectively? It's the ONLY lift going up and down the tower. So when we managed to go up, I kinda regretted my decision. Firstly, it's smaller in area compared to that 200+m floor. Secondly, the view is almost the same. Thirdly, we needed to queue up just to go down =.= =.= =.=

Queued for 15mins before going down that same elevator we took to go up. After that, we required to queue for another 20mins JUST to reach the lobby. I was like =.= =.= =.= during the whole time waiting to go down. So apart from being squeezed like sardines in a can when in the elevator and the bloody queueing process. The whole experience is ok.

We had lunch at 东方明珠's lobby. There was this cafe/shop named Coffee Tower, and it looked ridiculously like Coffee Bean/StarBucks. The only difference is the waiter/waitress wear orange. So anyway we ate lunch here, and boy, the food's good! I can taste that it's microwave food, but still it taste great. I enjoyed that Gratin.

Next stop, the Marine Aquarium, aka Underwater World. Thank God there's no crowds inside the structure, and best of all, no queueing! The exihibits there were very different from those you'll find in the Singapore's Underwater World. Lots and lots of native species, and some really scary ones too :

Forgot the name, but it's a big salamander found in a huge river (Yellow river?)

Tiger Shark. You'll get the idea

The slightly more cute ones:

There's a great exhibition bout Sharks there too! And save the sharks! They're not mindless man-eater, but beautiful yet dangerous animals. Dont support Shark Fin Soup or any other Shark based products.

The visit to the Aquarium was enjoyable, but I had no time to shop =.= for CDs. It's around 5.15pm when we left, and man, it's like 9pm out there. So dark. As we only extended our hotel stay for 1/2 a day, which was til 6pm. So we got onto a taxi and rushed down there. It has slightly pass 6pm, and it's not even 6.10pm yet but we're needed to pay for a whole day for the hotel room, bout' 140RMB? I dont recall the price but it's over 100RMB allright. So dragging our luggages out disgruntingly, we went to a nearby, small restaurant for dinner. After dinner, we took a taxi and left for Shanghai International Airport (HuangPu), which was over a hour long ride. The whole trip cost bout' 120~160RMB, which is considered cheap for the distance covered.

The trip home was a little unexpected for me. I saw a MASSIVE group of Henderson Secondary School students, and both genders wore suits. The girls look kinda weird o.O. There're lots of other people too, and wow, I wasn't the only teen there. You could easily pluck them out. So anyway, did those procedures, and passed customs. The shops were just linear in shape, so to go from one end to another took a long time. When my dad, uncle Sim and with some friends whom they just met, went for a snack at a nearby cafe. I took this opportunity to look for a book/CD shop. To my great surprise, there's actually one there. Shocked but happy, I rushed back to the cafe for some cash to buy some CDs/books. But to my GREAT disappointment, the shop was bout' to close when I just reached there. Bad timing, but why close at 10.30pm? I thought they close at 12am ?

So due this stupid incident, it ruined my day. I had that "Hey! F**K off" face the whole trip back to Sinagpore. Even that plane trip didn't bother me much. It took me 8 songs just to cool down, bout' 40 mins long. A very long time based on my standard.

So nothing much happened on the plane, so took a short nap. Reached S'pore at bout' 6am, and when to Burger King for a short breakfast. Long queues at 6am? You gotta be kidding me! It took me 15mins just to order my breakfast.

Nothing much left, this just sums up what I remember from the trip to Shanghai. Went home, played my ever lovely com from 7am til 12pm, that's when I slept. Til 9pm+.

Shanghai Trip - Day 3

2006-11-27T04:30:00.000+08:00

Today I woke up earlier at bout' 8am and proceeded to the cafe or Coffee Shop for breakfast. A normal, quiet breakfast until some China due just sat down on my table to eat. I was like WTF?, and told him that the other 2 seats (there were 4) were taken. No obvious reply, and he just continued eating. Yes, I can see that most tables were taken, and I'm just a 16 year old kid, so it's like taking candy from a baby. Even so, manners please hor uncle.

Regarding the last post bout the JC admission thingy, my dad rushed me to the business center but it was closed. So we went to a nearby LAN shop located at that famous shopping district seen in the Day 1 post. The fee was cheap. Only 3 RMB per hour, or SGD$ 0.60 per hour. It was quite quiet there for it's morning. Only bout' 3~6 other computers were taken. I went to see the necessary things needed for the admission exercise etc, and the weird thing is, the chinese guy beside me is watching his porn collection. Well girls in scantily clothes/bikinis and some were totally nude. Yep, it's porn alright.

Me, dad and uncle Sim went to Bauma 06 after that, and it's more enjoyable. Due to no bloody tiring plane trip, dragging of a few kilos of luggage and Booth Babes. Yes you heard me correctly. Booth babes. I was shocked to even see them in such exhibitions in the first place.

During lunch, me and dad went to The Coffee Beanery (It ain't no Coffee Bean, and yes that's the cafe's name). Queuing took bout' 20 minutes, and we're in luck to find a table less than 10 minutes there amongst the crowd. I ordered a Supreme pizza for me, Spaghetti for dad and a Expresso coffee. It was 15RMB (SGD$3) for a cup, and the cup was only this big:

Small, but it has KICK! Slight similar effect to Vodka.

Well, I made an arrangement for those who I smsed, called or specifically contacted via other sources to log in to MSN messenger around 7pm+. Well we're stuck outside for 2hrs+, no thanks to long queues, people who shamlessly stole our cabs (KSed) and to those taxi drivers wanting to extort $$$ from passengers (霸王车). I recalled one policeman for doing these weird actions. He did a dramatic "To hell with those 霸王车, I shall lead you all to the main road where there's a abundance of cabs." speech in his superb chinese accent. Sounded patriotic. Again, our cabs got stolen (KSed) by others, and took us quite a while to get a cab. Worse, it was raining. After hopping onto a cab, we're faced with the problem of a MASSIVE TRAFFIC JAM. A short drive of less than 30km to the hotel took us an hour.

I reached the hotel at 8pm, and late for the MSN appointment. Called Mau to log in, and he did! I multi tasked between talking to CK, Yudha who both logged in later and with Mau, and the PAE(JCs) admission. My dad dislike the idea of going to the LAN shop again due to the pornography the guy beside me was viewing. So I went to the business center to use it's computer. It's bout' SGD$4 per 15 mins. Shocking isn't it?

This is the com:

All Hail Mau! Saved my ass. Twice. Firstly for logging immedialately when I needed him most. Secondly, for spotting my mistake of entering Anderson JC as my 2nd choice instead of Tampines JC. Heng!

A really late dinner due to the jam and PAE admission. Bout' 5 mins to 10pm. Ate alot to celebrate the completion of my PAE admission before the deadline, and there's lots of left over pizza o.O

Shanghai Trip - Day 2

2006-11-27T04:08:00.000+08:00

I woke up around 9am+, and it's considered late cause the cafe (or Coffe Shop cause they named it that way) stops serving breakfast at 9.45am. Nagged out out bed (it sucks big time, and there's a stranger to see it all), I changed, washed and went for breakfast. A normal breakfast, and left for the exhibition around 10+am.

This time, I'm refreshed and awake, although not 100%. Me and my dad scanned halls E1 and E4 thoroughtly, and only E2 and E3 are left. Firstly, it rained/drizzled the whole day, and it was HORRIBLY cold. And yes, it felt good. Secondly, there are just too many people around. Toilet visit was long and horrible, and people staring at each other peeing. Lunch was worse. There were bout' 3 dining areas there only, and all were fully occupied. So I pulled my dad to the McDonald area where the queue was shorter. A 25 minutes queue, and the food was cold when it arrived. Still edible, and the drink was a blue solution (Imagine Aqueous Blue Copper Sulpahte solution) with a chewing gum/mint/coke flavour. Taste kinda ok, and my dad said it tasted great. Bleh. Oh yeah, litters dominated the whole area. Floor, tables, chairs. They're found everywhere, just like the zombies in horror movies.

The exhibition was what I expected, products, business contacts etc. Met alot of my dad's business friends, and one of them, Terence brought us around Shanghai. Afterall he's familiar with the surrounding there. We went to 人民大道 in search for CDs, and to my surprise, there's not a single CD shop to be found everywhere. Due to the drizzling, those CD stalls (Mobile ones I heard) are nowhere to be seen. Sad, cause the CDs are only RMB 25, bout' SGD$5. Another downside is that beggars beg hard for cash. They can follow you down the streets asking for $$$, and what's even more ironic is that they're dressed in nicer and better jackets than mine.

Returning to the hotel disappointed, I just slacked around lor. And to my horror, I needed to hand in the application form thingy regarding my choice of JCs by Friday 24/11 by 4pm. Well the horrible part is I'm stuck in China til Fri 12am, and I didn't the documents with me when I left Singapore. Before I left, I was like :" Hmm, I should bring along those documents." until my other self was like :" Screw it dude! Bring it and screw your 'vacation'? You don't even need to bring this cause you can pass it up by Sunday!" - ( My teacher told me that I had a week to hand it up )

So I was like holy shit~ holy shit~. The weather was cold, and I wore a singlet to bed. Surprisingly, it was NOT that cold, and it felt good~. Oh yeah regarding that Holy Shit part. I just went to sleep and believed that it'll go all well.

- As I was writing what to blog for Day 2 in the wee hours of morning, I heard some screaming/laughing/sobbing/moaning sound. WTF? Sounded like some punksters or sex gone horribly wrong.

Shanghai Trip - Day 1

2006-11-27T04:04:00.000+08:00

This's my first trip to Shanghai, China and for some weird reasons, I was not particularly thrilled bout' this. Prehaps I made a hasty decision to join my Dad for the Bauma Exhibition 06 held there, during the big 'O's.

Well like the usual procedures of going to the airport; having dinner together, saying goodbyes, going through customs etc. It has been bout' 12 years since I've been on an airplane, and to other countries besides M'sia. The good thing is, that I bought myself a copy of the issue of EGM(UK) containing those Halo 3 multiplayer bits and chunks. The sad thing, I can't find the TimeZone arcade in the transit area.

I boarded the plane via some room named C17, and it kinda brought back familiar memories. The security check, that travelator, the tunnel connecting the plane's entrance. Well as I suspected, the economy class was a little too small for my size. Even my sister, who went on a trip to Hokkaido, Japan earlier this year had a TV screen and games to play, music to listen and even got a free Pokemon toy ! All I got was a bad night's sleep, squeezy conditions and a uncomfy seat. It was 1~2am when the plane left Singapore, and 15 minutes after that, we're forced to wake up, seat upright (bring the chair up) so that the passengers behind can open up the "table" to place their food with. For me, I can't even sleep. Try sleeping upright. Trust me it hurts.

So beside the fact that economy class is small, jam packed, it was a good experience. The thrust we feel during lift-off, the bouncing feeling during landing.

Reached Shanghai bout' 4~5 hours later, and I seem to recall that it was around 5~6am+ when we reached Shanghai. Dead tired but I switched my body to "energy saving" mode and managed to survive til 3pm. This is due to the fact that there's such a weird law regarding checking in of hotel is only authorized after 12noon. It has since been years since I first experienced the "Holy crap" thingy. Dragging our luggages, we went to eat at KFC. And between KFC and us was the Maglev (Magnetic train) station (More of an area). So we bought our tickets, assuming that KFC was INSIDE the station. To our horror, we had to leave the station to get there. But heng lah, the security guard allowed us an exception to leave and enter again later. Anyway the KFC there sells porridge, and egg burger o.O

Took the Maglev towards Long Yang(龙阳) Station, and the train felt like a skateboard travelling at 301 Km/h max speed. Smooth ride I must say. So dragging the ever heavy lugguages, we took a shuttle bus from the station to Bauma Exhibition 06 held at Shanghai Internation Expo. Apparently the crowd is starting to gather at the entrance, and the chinese there aren't really friendly. They cut queues. By the masses. So again, I managed to squeeze myself in amongst the huge crowd of chinese and some foreign visitors. Again, dragging of luggage issues, me, my dad and his friend aka uncle Sim, walked through 2 of the 4 exhibition halls. I was 1/2 dead during this time. So don't ask me bout' that visit that day.

Around 3pm+, we dragged our physically exhausted bodies back to our hotel, Xing Yu hotel (星宙大酒店). I took a short nap before leaving for lunch at 5, and it was some shop located in some famous shopping district. Claimed by my dad, the area was like some ancient China's kind of shops cluttered together. 小笼包 populated this area, and seriously, it tasted good. Very different from the Singapore version. There's also this dish where people drink their soup in this bowl sealed with a big bun on top, out of straws. Kinda weird. After dinner, we headed back to our hotel room, and I proceeded to watch TV. Tons of cable, but just no sports or english ones! Bored, I went to sleep. I woke up at 10pm, ate the take-away food bought by my dad went he apparently ditched me in the room alone and went to sight-see. Because I slept earlier, I was unable to sleep lor. I sat on my bed and written down what to blog for day 1. And yeah, I read that EGM mag too. Halo 3 totally rock my world XD

17 Nov 2006 : One small step for me, One giant leap for 4E1

2006-11-20T13:26:00.000+08:00

Last Friday I had a great and exhausting( =.= ) time. I only got bout' 5 hours of sleep as I played til the wee hours of morning, and I had to rush to Maurice's house for a Xbox session and then the 4E1 Bbq later in the afternoon. Anyway, dragging my lazy bum of my cushion-bed~, I washed up, changed, drank coffee and off I went to Maurice's house.
Carrying along a Xbox console, 3 xbox controllers and half a dozen games is not a very pleasant experience, especially having to take a bus. Thank God it's not during the peak hours or else I have to drag the box to his house by foot. Finding his house was not plesant either. I took bus 59, forgetting the fact that it DOES not pass through the Bedok Reservoir Wet Market region, but instead passes through the Bedok North Secondary School area. Noticing this error, I got off the school's bus-stop and walked ALL the way to his house. It's bout' 15 mins walk. Oh I saw my cousin going to school too, but she didn't noticed me LoL. Hopes she does well for her papers.

When I reached his house, I was dead tired and pissed. His blocks were in circles. Beside block 113 is 120. Then where the heck is block 112? Anyway his house surprised me. The block was kinda old, not as old as mine though. The interior was beautiful. No not that kind of Designer's interior design, but rather a nice, comfortable home feeling. His hall was huge, although mine have a bigger area in terms of Sq Ft. As I went in, I saw it. The curvish, "sleek" white/silver lined box with a "360" on it. It had to be it. A Xbox 360. Disappointingly, he didn't get Gears Of War T-T.

Besides me, other friends came. All guys, and we're not gays. We played and played til 3.30pm, cause I had to prepare to go for the Bbq by bus, while the others decided to cycle there. I miss my bike T-T. Lugging that Xbox back home, I took a short rest and departed for Pasir Ris Park. It was round' 5+pm, and the designated time of meeting was 4.30pm, so I went alone instead. Nice feeling XD. Reached there after bout' 1 hour of travelling, and to my horror, the Bbq pit was nowhere near the playground. Instead, it's located towards the end of the park, and that's where a friend of mine has a condo unit in "Sandy Palm". I walked a long~ distance to reached there, and thankfully I was not sorely disappointed. Again to my horror, the food's not even here yet, let alone the charcoal, firestarters. The girls were just chit chatting around, so I went to the Guy's area. Borrowed a bike, went round the park, and just did what I want.

Finally bout 7+pm, the supplier came. And the Bbq "officially" started at 8pm. During this time, I borrowed a bike and just rode around again. This time, I saw this beautiful structure which I've seen several times from my previous visits here. And luck has it, I got lost while riding and ended up at the structure's peak. The view was simply stunning. It's just like a wide staircase with lamps placed around it. But it was beautiful. Suitable for a party( Pictures Techno under the stars XD ) or a romantic getaway for couples. I sat there, listened to my MP3 ( Although I didn't update it, there's some techno hits in it ) under the distant, yet brilliantly sparkling stars. The air was cool. The surrounding was quiet. I felt relaxed.

Around 8, I received a call from Jason that the food's being cooked. So they managed to start the fire afterall, I was expecting longer due to past experiences LoL. I went back, but I'm not a big fan of Bbq food though, so I didn't eat much. Anyway the whole Bbq-ing process, eating process was fun. The girls in 4E1 were ridiculously high that night. It can be mistaken that they're on drugs, horny or just mentally insane. Again, after some eating I rode the bike again. I don't get much opportunities to ride bikes due to my dad being obsessed with "safety" and gave mine away 4~6 years ago, so I did my best to ride all I want. I like that feeling of speed.

After the eating process, the girls wanted some "sacred dancing ritual" which I don't really understand, but it's fun. I get to hook up with 2 other girls LoL! But it's just for the sake of fun, no hanky panky involved. They sang this song "Auld Lang Syne" and etc, and did that really weird circling dance. I just followed them lor. It's great. But then it's hard to write such feelings down in words though. I'm not good at expressing how I feel/think.

I got a candle representing me ( HOLY DOES IT MEAN I'LL DIE IF THE CANDLE EXTINGUISHES ?), and a small, laminated photo of my class. I have it here with me as I type. We also had a 4E1 cake! Which tasted like alcohol! I love that taste! And the Muslims in my class didn't dare to touch it! Although the chinese girls reassured that it's rum or whatsoever, and it's halal.

The Bbq ended late around 11.20pm, and everyone scrambled for taxis, buses for the taxis charge extra after 12, the last buses leave at 11.30. So concluding that I'll miss my bus, I called my dad to fetch me and some friends. He's pissed, I know of it, but anyway he came.

Before he came, me and friends rushed to Pasir Ris Interchange and see if they could catch a bus. Apparently we can, but Alvin missed bus no. 15, so he can't reach home directly. So I talked them into allowing me to drive them home. We went to McDonald's to grab some bites before leaving. In the car, we chit chated til each and everyone of them reached home. It was a pleasant experience.

I reached home bout' 12.50pm, but I went to play com anyway. I played til 6am, then I took a quick bath (I sweated heavily and smell) and slept. I woke up at 11 am though X_x.

Forever Young~ I want to forever young~

2006-11-20T12:57:00.000+08:00

Enough crap bout' life being crappy. Enough shit bout' my dysfunctional family. Today, I'll talk bout' the beauty of life~ ( Angelic Melody ~Ah~)

Today did not started well for me. I overslept for my Pre-U briefing, Alvin misplaced his "F.E.A.R" game folder, my body system went cranky. I didn't get to drink a cup of coffee, stayed in the bathroom for bout' 45 mins, and by the time I went back to school, the briefing's over.

I love my class. I'm glad that I've met them during my walk down life. This 2 years we spent together may be short, some vivid memories may be unpleasant, some beautiful. This class is different from others in many different ways. 4E1 is dysfunctional, weird yet colourful. Life there is not necessary the MOST beautiful, but it's still good. We have weirdos, clowns and jokers fooling during lessons, machine guns and satellites, the Axis of Evil, Happy Tree(3) Friends aka KKB*, the NCCs, the gals and "The 4 Legendary Kings". Which other classes have such unique groups?

I've made good/new friends there, learn more bout' the uncertainty of human behaviour and more subjects( Of course ). My family, as much as I hate them, I love them as much. As I said, it's a love-hate relationship. It's weird I know.

I love my brother, although he likes to attract attention, lacked fashion style( Likes to wear my shirts =.= ), plump. But he's smart, WAY more responsible than me, and systematic. I'm proud to annouce, that even without any tuition or much help from me, he's able to be 33th out of 240 people. But he can't get into 3E1, damn the school. He's personality is like Inuyasha's. By the way he's very anti-blogging, cause I think he does not have much of a life to blog bout'.

My parents are different from other parents and strict, but I appreciate them for them. At least they care.

Well it's good to have dreams for life, and memories and experiences, although some are total bullshit and unpleasant, are equally important.

- If you reading this post, happens to be MY brother, then I'll say this to you,:" Say whatever you want bout' being a Gay to blog. If you lack a life to blog, too bad and diam diam. Since you like to read every half hour bout' what I post, you seriously need to get a life."

Time may heal wounds, but it sure can't make one forget

2006-11-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

While typing bout' me not trusting my parents, it's a personal thing. I remember at some point in my Sec 4 life, I've written this sentence in a chinese compo :

Parents are humans after all, and humans do err from time to time. If we don't forgive our parents for their mistake, then who will?

I can tell anyone straight in the eye, that I've lived up to the sentence. If not, I'll dare say that life would be very different from now. But I do blame them from time to time for stupid doing stupid things, but there's one thing which cannot be easily forgetten through the passage of time. They failed to be there with me at my lowest point of life. When I fell to the lowest point of life, where were you when I needed you the most? I remember. No one was there to help me. I was all alone. Life never returned to 100% normal.

I'm not sure if anyone has such experience like mine, but I know one thing for sure. There're people out there who experienced worse than me. I also believe that I did a great job of being optimistic bout' life, cause I forgot alot of bad experiences I had. I only remembered the main points.

My life went haywire when I reached Primary 1. As I was unable to enter Red Swastika School, I entered Min Xin Primary instead. It was there I changed. I met this guy named Michael, from Taiwan. We and some few guys always hanged around each other, and he's older than us, so that made him the boss. It's from him I learnt vulgarities, how to fight. I admit, my brother became bad due to my influence. I unleashed vulgarities and always got into a fight with him. I also cursed my parents with vulgarities. I was 6~7 years old that time. I lost interest in schooling and I dropped from 3rd position to 22th position in class.

What made me to change to become a better, not necessarily a very obedient guy, was that one time my Mom broke down and wept in front of me. It was the first time (And certainly not the last) I saw her cry. And man, she cried hard. I did my best, ditched those bad behaviours. Due to being a nice guy in school now, I found it hard to adapt back to school life. From that instance, I never loved to attend school. And I never did. My life changed again when I tried to walk down the "correct" path in life. I lost friends, I got backstabbed, I was depressed.

Friends left me for I became a goody two shoes. My best pal ditched me for those friends, and I remembered his words til now :" Who wants to be friends with you? You're weird, and you're a sissy."

My life reached its lowest point. I had no one to depend on. My parents were Very, Very BUSY, and had "no" time to listen and guide me. So I was left practically alone. For 2~3 years in school, I felt depressed. To make it worse, my thinking and behaviours were very different from the others, so it's called lacking "universally accpeted personality traits". So I was isolated from everyone. I thought of commiting sucide, transferring/skipping schools. Life totally suck at that time. It sucked so badly that I cried almost everyday after school for the pitiful existence I had. But thankfully, I was mentally strong enough not to actually jump off my block to end my life.

I pity Humanity's existence and also wanted to either wipe out or re-modify it to near perfection. I actually admired Lex-Luthor, arch-nemisis of Superman. I became repressed, refused to talk to anyone, refused to trust anyone. Life turned for the better when I met Mrs Krishnan during my Pri 4 and 5 years. With her encouragement, supervision, I fared better in my studies. I got into EM 1! There's another teacher which have a great impact on my life. Ms Yeo. Firstly, she's beautiful, she got the body, and best of all, her personality. This would be the first time in 4 years that I talked bout' her. Apart from that she's so gorgeous that my jaws dropped, she was patient, nice, funny and strict. But one thing which I seriously got uncomfortable was that she kept asking me if I was okay and needed someone to talk to. I, don't want to seek help. I don't want people to think that I'm a mentally ill person. She taught me to be how to live life and be optimistic bout' it. She also shaped my vision of the type of girl I would want to marry eventually one day. Hope to find her soon =)

I never recovered fully from Depression though, my parents also never knew bout' this cause I never made any effort to tell them since they went "yeah whatever" when I told them of my hellish primary school life. I never consulted a doctor bout' it. But I reviewed the symptoms based on a commercial by the Government back in those days bout' suffering Depression.

1) Do you feel sad, tired of life? - Yeah
2) Do you lack appetite - Nope, I indulged in food that I became fat
3) Have you thought of commiting sucide - Hell yeah

It's something like that, but I don't recall all of them.

I broke down twice in secondary school. I lost friends as a result, and it's hard to even say hi to them. I could never fully trust people, not even my own family. Being repressed for most of my primary school years also resulted me in having difficulty of making friends, cause I refused to interact often. I made a bet with God (I think he DO exist)that I if I could enter 3E1 with my horrible results (It's because I can't be bothered with the other tests and exams, only the end of the year's. I did quite well but they took the overall 4 exams =.=) and become a better man for one of the few girls who attracted me (I can say that I only got attracted by 5 girls only in my life so far). Apparently I went to 3E1 and she went into the same class too =X

I must say I've changed alot since Sec 3, in terms of thinking and behaviour. I love my class, my friends, my family (Although there's many toe-stepping still occurring) and life.

I dream to see the world, and how its inhabitants are doing. I dream of craving my own business empire and influence and improve the life and quality of humanity. I believe, we, humanity were given such power to out-evolve other organisms for a specific reason. I prefer to believe that it's to make the world a better place for everything and everyone. And of course, what's life without enjoyment? I want to open a club/pub/disco or whatever it's called, to bring all people who love life together and party~!!!

A personal quote: Since teenage life is dominated by the raging hormones, why not embrace it and admire the opposite gender? Oogling at them is not being pervertic or bad or whatsoever. Not oogling at them will be kinda worrying, especially when someone says that he has no interest in the opposite gender.

I'm going to China tomorrow~ And I'm not glad bout' it

2006-11-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Haiz I'm leaving for China tomorrow, but I have not done any preparations for this trip. Packing, informing Uncle John bout' that dinner, winter clothing, mindset.

Tomorrow's might be the last day the class of 4E1, well, to be together as class 4E1. After today, we're considered as "adults" in some sense, so it sucks. Adults equates to more responsibilities, hardships, betrayals and a faster meeting with death. I hope that this time, I'll not forget to collect the contacts of everyone in 4E1, regardless of who they are, where they are. I've missed bout' 2~3 opportunities to get them, so this's my last chance.

Anyway, tomorrow's the day we get to choose our JCs and courses to take, well I'm not too sure bout' that cause I didn't hear bout' this. At all. This means I'll have to dress in that uniform again and that red tie which strangles. Oh well, it's my last time going back to school as a Damaian.

Like every holiday I'm faced with days of boredom. I'm rotting at home, along with that ever uniquely horrible yet weird brother. If my sister's at home, home becomes hell with my ever uniquely horrible yet weird brother trying to "do" somethings which I could never understand, so it's presumed that he's either doing some secret experiments on her, trying to "Hit" on her or He lacks more universally accepted behaviours and traits than me.

I want a Xbox 360 real bad enough that I'm actually considering of taking up a job, and to also kill some time. But thank God, "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" finished downloading yesterday, so I DID managed to kill some time watching this anime. Problem is, it's only 14 episodes, and I've finished 10 episodes. Bout's 100 mins more to go. Seriously I hope Shanghai got some nice places to visit and play.

Today's a living hell for me as my bro and sister did their usual "I hit you, you hit me" routine again. He does weird things to her, she screams and retaliate, dear mom also does her berserking routine too. So being an innocent by-stander caught in such shit for perhaps an eternity, life at home just sucks. I actually had a great time studying in the wee hours for my house is actually SILENT during this times. My dad does his usual bullshit of "Sleep early or Die" often, but I dont give a hoot bout' that. Sleep early and give up my few hours of freedom? Wake up early to see and hear this "I hit you, you hit me" shit again? Hell no, I rather lead a dysfunctional life than suffer more of this crap.

Today's dinner was also so-so, for my bro suggested to go to this isolated coffee shop to eat. Though the "Zhu Chao" stall's owned by our school friend, but if I dont want to go, that trip will never be pleasant for me. Dinner was edible but not the best, with the interior lacking so badly that I can't bring myself to look inside.

But what really spoilt my day were my parents. Not that I really hate them or anything but, never make a promise that you can't make. 4 years ago, my Mom made a promise to bring me to Fish & Co. to taste its Fish & Chips for it's really good, but apparently she never did. Over the past 4 years, she made up a bullshit crapload of excuses like the food is too expensive, the food sucks etc. Again today, someone said something bout' food and Fish & Co. , so I reminded my Mom of failure to keep that promise. She "promised" to bring me there next week. Do I take her word for it? Fuck if I did, so I told her off.

My Dad was no better. He likes to make a shitload of empty promises that I shot him down so badly that he hardly promises me anything unless it's capable of being done. Apparently he promised a CD after the 'O's to "reward" me for working hard. I know it's bullshit, but I took his word for it. BAD MISTAKE. He shrugged it off and denied shit.

Shit, I'm feeling more pissed typing this post.

2006-11-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

I was checking my mail while I was blogging, and yes, I'm so bored that I'm double posting.

Les sent me this "must forward to many to have good luck with Love or die" chain e-mail( again ). I don't really like this kind of stuffs, cause it's dumb in some sense. As dumb as it seems, there's some mushy, yet nice and meaningful messages in it.

If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

That message,(particullarly the 1st sentence) I've heard it tons and tons of time from friends bout' my issue. It's kinda sad. I lack the courage to say it out. I'm very confused right now, and it's something which has no clear cut solutions to it. It may succeed, it may fail. I'm such a flirt, darn it.

Glitch In The System

2006-11-18T16:05:00.000+08:00

My body clock has gone haywire for the past few days, cause I do not sleep before 2am, and also the fact that I only sleep for 9 hours for the past 2 days.

It all started because of this. After the big 'O's, I felt lost cause I had nothing to do. The only stress factor I had was having nothing fun to do, even during the frantic revisions in the unholy hours seemed fun. I had no cash to get new Xbox games, let alone a Xbox360. As bored as I am, I went to play Maple Story. There was I playing one whole day til bout' 11pm+, but it was still boring anyway. After that, it struck me. Insomania!(Spelt something like that)

Bored, bored, bored. I decided to stay up just to find stuffs to do. Apparently, there's not much to do. Bored to tears, I went to sleep. It was around 3~4am+ on Friday's morning. Big mistake. I forgot that I had to go to Maurice's house at 10. I woke myself up at 8+ but I needed a LONG time to kick start my body system. Coffee, some bread, something to increase adrenaline level.

I went to his house around 10~11am and played there for the whole morning and early afternoon(Man, his house is as big as mine. It's just that mine is 2 stories lol). I left around 3+ to make it for 4E1's class Bbq (Posting on mon*), but alas, I was late so I went alone. Even so I'm ok with that. I'm used to being a loner. By the way I saw a very gorgeous girl on the bus LoL, and no, I didn't try to hit on her or whatsoever cause it's complicated. And I meant VERY.

I had a great time at the Bbq, but it ended late (And I'll tell you why next time). I got my dad to fetch me and some friends (It's 12.15am for Heaven's sake. No bus). We escorted each and everyone back home, and when I reached home I didn't rush for the bed immedialately, cause I'm sweaty and smelly. Worse, I'm not exhausted. I could go on and play longer XD. Anyway I fooled around, blogged a little (See time of previous post), and went to bed (after bathing) around 6.15am today. And I woke up at 12 pm today, hungry. So I did the daily routine and blogged again. Cause I'm seriously bored.

-Bored to death. Going to find a job as soon as I'm back from China.

An Extreme Makeover

2006-11-18T04:34:00.000+08:00

Today, I made a resolution to have an Extreme Makeover. Well maybe not that extreme, but hey a makeover is still a makeover.

*Crap. AsI'm typing this post, I saw a shadow. Twice. It's less than 50cm away from me. Is my brain or eyes tiring out ?
Ignoring it, and with goosebumps all over me, I continue the post.

Anyway as I was saying, I'm going to undertake a makeover.

I'm gonna quit Maple Story. Firstly, ugly Singaporean (Mostly teens) with poor EQ and possibly IQ. Secondly, monopolizing the game. Wizet did a great job of "encouraging" us to purchase the cash card, aka $ card, A card, A cash( 10,000 A cash for SGD$10.50 ), just because we need it to look cool. To spare us the misery of leveling at a snail's pace. Last and thirdly, I find no meaning or sense of purpose in MS anymore. Hey it's not that MS is a crappy game, it's a great game, just ruined by several factors, particullay UGLY Singaporeans. Rare kind Maplers are rare now.

I'm gonna have this approach to life. Follow One's heart.(Particually those which I want).

I'm gonna learn how to draw manga/anime to capture the beauty of life. It offers more than photo taking. I'm wanna learn Japanese/korean/German language/writing, marketing, sales and business, redesign my blog and I wanna buff up my body too LoL. It's to make up for the wasted years spent on nothingness.

Electric guitar playing is also another one, but not because I love Rock, Heavy Metal or other music genre but because of this (You gotta listen to it):
www.mothergoat.net/mp3/theprisoner-nonarr.mp3
and also this :
www.mothergoat.net/hail117anthem.mp3

I'm also gonna find some holiday jobs, maybe ranging from F&B, Sales, Office admin etc. I wanna see what these industries have to offer to me, and also for this two particular reasons: Entertainment (Xbox360, Wii and perhaps a PS3. Halo 3 and Gears Of War XD) and Luxury (AiPod? A digital camera? A destop comupter or laptop?)

Yesterday, on the 17th of Nov I went to 4E1 "last" class Bbq. At first I resented the thought of going there, cause it was suppose to be a chalet, and this Bbq was a last minute thing. But I enjoyed it. I'm not gonna blog bout' it now cause I don't have any of the pictures taken with me now, so perhaps next Monday just before I leave for China for a business trip. Seriously, it's a business trip.

By the way bout' the machine gun part by this lady named KC (http://everstarry.blogspot.com/), I'm kinda honoured actually. Oh yeah, she's from my class.

Andrew has his own Xbox360 now (Boo Hoo Hoo). I'm seem to be the only XBL guys without a 360. I want to play Gears Of War. NOW.

-Edwin, I hope your Grandfather will recover soon from ICU. See you at the dinner soon.

Hey they started it first !

2006-11-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda lost for words now cause I finished my big 'O's, and I feel funny.

Not that I study til the wee hours of morning and suffer anxiety attack every few minutes, it's just that to suddenly stop studying feels funny.

I came home today, and my sub-consience told myself,:" Dude, you gotta play Maple Story today. Play til you drop."

My other sub-consience (Gemninis have 2 of each. So it's a good and a bad thing),
went :" No No No! Go sleep and just cool down. Think of doing something more meaningful."

Anyway I did play Maple for several hours, and I still pity the the future of Singapore's society.

1)I play MS for less than 15mins and my training area(Mixed Golem Forest) got raided not just by a party. 3 parties, and their average level was at least 90. My party only had 1 lvl 89 hermit, while the others were in our 70s. The "Mafia Boss" was this guy with the IGN : Disturb , and he can't even state a proper reason to why they (about 16 of them) raided the map. - What bout' Netball and whatever Sakura that guy is? They're not in the map. We dont know them. Why raid ?

2)Some girls have no respect for their gender. This guy joked about some crap bout' the "Vagina", and a girl replied,:"Want to play with it?" - WTF?! =.=, I can swear she sounds like a 14 yr old

3)Maple Story came up with the idea of having a Spa in this Gangster town, and the NPCs sold this robe. The Spa was mixed gender, and guys started going horny. Just within 3 visits there, I've heard : Molest, Hentai, F**K and even r@pe =.=.

4)Use of language. Really sad. Made no attempt to type "readable" english

5)There's more, but I'm lazy to type it out. To think MS is dominated by teenagers.

Pity pity.... Not that I'm a perfect Singaporean, but at least... Respect each other or Oneself.

*Thinks of Brother and shakes head.

- He's Inuyasha (With a very childish behaviour) and I'm more of Shessmoru. Does that mean bad ?

19:05 Hrs more ( As of time of last post )

2006-11-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Just 19Hrs and 5 mins more.

By the way,

You just gotta love the Chief.

The Horoscope Investigation : Pt 2

2006-11-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

Now for mine. This will be more accurate than my Bro's. I hope.

Traditional Gemini traits

Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively

On the dark side....

Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive

Quotes from the text which are true bout me ?

-On the one hand it produces the virtue of versatility, and on the other the vices of two-facedness and flightiness.

-When they are good, they are very attractive; when they are bad they are more the worse for being the charmers they are

-Like children they are lively, and happy, if circumstances are right for them, or egocentric, imaginative and restless.

-They take up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new interests, flitting from project to project as apparently purposelessly as a butterfly dancing from flower to flower.

-To them life is a game which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine.

-Changing horses in the middle of the stream is another small quirk in the Gemini personality which makes decision making, and sticking to a decision, particularly hard for them.

-Since they lack the quality of conscientiousness, they are apt to fight a losing battle in any attempts they make to be moral (in the widest sense of the word).

-good qualities are attractive and come easily to them. They are affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, and thoughtful towards the poor and suffering - provided none of the activities resulting from expressing these traits interferes too greatly with their own lives and comforts.

-They quickly learn to use their outward attractiveness to gain their own ends, and when striving for these they will use any weapon in their armory - unscrupulous lying, and cunning evasiveness; escaping blame by contriving to put it on other people, wrapped up in all the charm they can turn on. In their better moments they may strive to be honest and straightforward, but self-interest is almost always the victor. If things go against them, they sulk like children.

-They reflect every change in their surroundings, like chameleons, and can become pessimistic, sullen, peevish and materialistically self-centered if circumstances force them to struggle in any way. If the conditions of life become really adverse, their strength of will may desert them entirely.

-can become uncertain of themselves, either withdrawn, or nervously excitable worriers, sullenly discontented, hard and irritable, with "Self" looming ever larger in their struggles.

-On the other hand their versatility can make them very adaptable, adjusting themselves to control the world around them by means of their inherent ingenuity and cleverness.

-Most Gemini have a keen, intuitive, sometimes brilliant intelligence and they love cerebral challenges. But their concentration, though intense for a while, does not last. Their mental agility and energy give them a voracious appetite for knowledge from youth onward, though they dislike the labor of learning. They easily grasp almost everything requiring intelligence and mental dexterity, and are often able to marry manual skills to their qualities of mind.

-Their intellect is strongly analytical and sometimes gives them so great an ability to see both sides of a question that they vacillate and find it hard to make decisions.

-If faced with difficulties, they have little determination to worry at a problem until they find a solution - they will pick the brains of others. In their intellectual pursuits, as in other departments of their lives, they risk becoming dilettantes, losing themselves in too many projects which they follow until they become difficult.

-In love they are fickle, not intentionally so but because of the basic inconsistency of their emotional nature, which has an amoral aspect to it. Their is a side to Geminians which can become deeply involved emotionally, and another, hostile to sentimentality, which stands back from a romantic situation, laughing at it and the protagonists in it, including themselves while analyzing it intellectually. Gemini subjects take nothing seriously. So, in love, in spite of their temporary depth of feeling, for the intensity of involvement lasts only while it is new, they are superficial, light-hearted, cool, flirtatious and unimaginative in the understanding of the pain they may give others. They like intrigue, the excitement of the chase, but once they have caught the prey, they lose interest and look around for the next creature to pursue. In less serious situations they make witty, entertaining companions, good acquaintances rather than friends. Even at their worst they are never dull - there is usually playfulness below the surface, and they can be brilliant conversationalists - but they can also be quarrelsome, prattlers, boasters, liars and cheats.

-manipulators of language, in speech and writing

Possible Health Concerns...

-seases and accidents associated with the upper part of the body, as well as nervous and pulmonary disorders such as catarrh and bronchitis.

-Their mercurial nature may also affect a constitution which is not strong if it is put under strain.

-You are prone to taking unnecessary risks and wind up harming yourself or others in the process. Sometimes pursuing pleasure too vigorously could also qualify as risk taking.

* LIKES Talking
Novelty and the unusual
Variety in life
Multiple projects all going at once
Reading

* DISLIKES Feeling tied down
Learning, such as school
Being in a rut
Mental inaction
Being alone

Go here to see the rest of the info
http://www.astrology-online.com/gemini.htm

The Horoscope Investigation : Pt 1

2006-11-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

Today's papers were E Mths and Social Studies(SS), and gosh, I think they went well cause I THINK that those papers were easy. A little too easy.*Gulps*

Ok forget about those long tuitions I am having these days, and I want to focus on one thing for now.

Horoscope~

This Horoscope system has intrigue me since I was a little boy, but I paid no special attention to it, cause...I'm can't be bothered =X
But today it's different. I want to put it on a test by using me, my brother ( Total cocky JERK. But it's a brotherly thing ) and some others ^^.

Firstly, my Brother(Total cocky JERK. But it's a brotherly thing)

He's a Libra, and I cant reveal his birthday to you people due to security reasons.
Let us see the definitions of the Libras :

-Traditional Libra Traits

Diplomatic and urbane
Romantic and charming
Easygoing and sociable
Idealistic and peaceable

On the dark side....

Indecisive and changeable
Gullible and easily influenced
Flirtatious and self-indulgent

Quotes from the text which are true bout my Bro :

-are naturally kind, very gentle (He USED to like that)

-they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval.

-They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity

-They have good perception and observation and their critical ability, with which they are able to view their own efforts as well as those of others, gives their work integrity.

-The negative Libran character may show frivolity, flirtatiousness and shallowness. It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia

-yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage.

-Their love of pleasure may lead them into extravagance; Libran men can degenerate into reckless gamblers (eg only)

-squander their wealth and talents in their overenthusiasm for causes which they espouse

-dislike coarse, dirty work

-others are extremely ambitious

-ome Librans are gifted in fashion designing or in devising new cosmetics; others may find success as artists, composers, critics, writers, interior decorators, welfare workers or valuers, and they have an ability in the management of all sorts of public entertainment.

Possible Health Concerns...

-weaknesses in the back

-They need to avoid overindulgence in food and especially drink

* LIKES The finer things in life
* conviviality

* DISLIKES Violence
* Injustice
* Brutishness
* Being a slave to fashion (100% accurate)

Go here to see the rest of the info

The 2 Weeks Countdown

2006-11-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

Every beginning has an end, but this is not applicable to everything
*I like this phrase. Sounds holy.

= Give me 2 more weeks. I shall catch up with the past, the present and pursue the future. =

May everything goes well for all I know, regardless of the conflicts, misunderstandings, or any other negative incicents which dampen or hurt our relationships. Should God exist, bless you all.

Thanks for that "Jia You". It make a huge difference.

2006-11-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

Well don't think much about the previous post I posted yesterday. Or the day before. Something bad happened, and I need to vent my anger somewhere, so I posted, because killing the Covenant armies in Halo is too repetive and lacked "kick", and my com is formatted clean of its Warcraft and Dota Gametypes( -_-" You should know who ). So here I was typing away in the wee hours of saturday morning, venting my anger with words. Man I felt better, although I didn't sleep well ( O lvls stress ).

My family has that Love-Hate relations. This is how we are, and we care and love each other deeply, although we dont act it out in front of each other cause we either dont think it's necessary or it's just that we dont know how to. ( The guys in this household are good examples. )

Anyway as I am typing this post now, time is slowly ticking away, and I have a SS paper due tomorrow morning at 10. About 12 hours more(T_T). When the big 'O's is around the corner, I did what I think some may consider nuts. I signed up more 3 more subjects ( E mths, A mths and Eng ) for tuition. Remember the 4hr Physics/Chem lessons ? My tutor is teaching all those. Man he's some super powerhouse. You gotta see to believe such man exist. Anyway he's so good that I hopped in last minute to "absorb" some of his vast knowledge, with E Mths paper 1 just 2 days away and paper 2 just next Friday, and Eng just next Wednesday. A mths, I'm not so sure but it's about 2 weeks later. Take it as an insurance, cause I'm not 100% certain that I can get A1 for them. Maybe just 60~75% sure. Anyway, this may be the LAST post I write in this few weeks due to INTENSIVE studies.

Things to remember :

-Populate the computer with the necessary data
-Prepare for 2 months worth of entertainment
-Get Fen Kai's Hp no. ( Not FK -__-" )
-Get Fen Kai to lend his Chung Cheng Year Book
-Find her pic, get relevant data if possible. I think I know which school she came from =P
-Learn new things and dare to dream big :
1) Learn the Japanese language, its writings if possible
2) Perfect the way of speaking English and Mandarin. Improve on understanding of the Chinese writings
3) Learn Hokkien and communicate with Ah Ma.
4) Electric Guitar XD !!!
5) Do those DJ stuffs. Techno, Trance, remixes etc
6) Organise Class activities

*- "Bounce with me, I feel the energy, Imagine a loss of weight is coming off of me.
Oh baby, dance with me and be my fantasy tonight =P"

*Part of lyrics from the Song : Bounce (DJ Manian Remix) from Speed Up 4, EQ music
*Relate to the bouncing part. The fantasy is irrelevant.

2006-11-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

Just less than 1 hour ago, I got into this major fight with my

MAJOR RETARDED BROTHER WHO IS A SELF-CLAIMED COMPUTER EXPERT BUT DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SHUT DOWN THE COM PROPERLY, WHICH DIED TWICE DUE TO SUDDEN SHUTDOWN BY SWITCHING OF THE POWER, WHO'S VERY COCKY JUST BECAUSE HIS PW PRESENTATION WAS SHOWN TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND HAD A TEACHER TO PRAISE HIM TO THE SKIES.

over the computer. Again. The day before,this retard killed the com by abruptly cutting off its power by closing the power switch. Com can't start, the retard whines until I came home from a 4hr tuition session. I came home, attempted to save the com, but I knew my limit and decided to cease all "Saving" actions on the com until help arrives. Retard who thought he's a genius, went to PC recovery, and reformatted the whole hard disk. About 80 GB of information wiped cleaned. Thank God I backed up most files in my external Hard Disk, but then some of important information in the main Hard Disk was gone. Mr KuKu Head, with alot of confidence and pride, told our sis to convey this message to me :

"Go and tell GeGe, I repair the com liao =P."

I heard his voice. Darn cocky. I hate this attitude especially from a loser. He did not even know that he formatted the com. Til I bowed to him for being a retard.

After this whole retarded incident, I accepted the fact that the com was reformatted, and I set up a new system in the com. My dear brother had to install all those sh*t into the com again. ( Roughly 70% of the total main and external hard disk spaces were taken by his things. Among which 90% of them are junks, eg: Incompleted projects, incompleted downloads - Among which is a 5GB game but is unable to load )

I told him off, he shot back , I shot back. War begun. It was so intense that Mom had to come down to interupt. Got defeated badly, Mom went up and did her usual sh*t again. After this sh*t, Dad came down and told me off. F**K you @ssh**e. I dont get to see you more than 5hrs a week. You never spared any concern over my health. My Days. My Life. So who in the world told you to come and lecture me, although you are my Father in the name of Law.

I am emotionally dried up. I'm tired of this whole sh*t. I never had a good childhood, I never had anyone to depend on. No one. Not even my "Closest" friends understands my thoughts. It's not that they're incompetent or anything, but I'm more of a solo kia. I don't want them to know. After the 'O's, I'm gonna try to lead my OWN life. Do what I want. Get to find excuses to escape from this home. Home dont feel home anymore. My soul wander aimlessly in the dark, and amid the darkness, the moon shines lovely in the sky. Nevermind the light is reflected off the Moon's surface from the sun, the Moon does feel the void in my heart. But not all of it.

*Thinks of the song : MoonLight Shadow ( It's a great song )

I wept. For a few minutes. This has been years since I last cried. What is my purpose?

I look for this special person who can make me forget all my worries. To feel my heart flutter again. Get to feel what Love really is. Should I get to find her one day, I would also want to love her all my best. Be there for her. Live life to the fullest together.

This song by Cascada expresses what I think I think it is :

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why.
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

- I feel lost. Dear God, I know this is very unlike me for I always contradict your existence, but let me score well for my "O"s to enter a good JC, and maybe, I'll get to see her, and also find out my purpose in life. I'll do my best in this remaining days towards the big "O"s, and to also always give all my best to everything which matters.

*I'm a freethinker.

Angels do exist. Dreams can become a reality

2006-10-20T19:24:00.000+08:00

HOLY S**T, during this 2 months of "Intensive Studying CrashCourse", little did I expect to recieve such a BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK during this period of time

*Refer to title above :

Angels do exist. Dreams can become a reality.

This 2 months had been topsy turvey for me, biological clock went hay-wire, day and night made no difference. I was exhasuted after the Prelims due to "Intensive Studying CrashCourse" ( I study better at LATE Night, so..you'll get the idea ), and surprisingly, the papers were kinda "easy".

And seriously, I didn't expect to get 14 points for my L1R5 ( THIS IS NOT THE BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK ). This would mean that I could get to JC, and preferbly to Meridian JC, although the JC is rumored to have a horribly intensive school life there. If MAYBE I could get better grades, Victoria or Temesek JC? Hard to say lol.

Although I got 14 points for my Prelims, my parents, especially my dad totally freaked out due to several reasons :

"OMG !!!! You had got a whopping C6 for Pure Physics !!! OMG, OMG, OMG......."

"OMG !!!! You had got a whopping B3 for Pure Chemistry !!! OMG, OMG, OMG......."

"OMG !!!! You had got a whopping C6 for Combined Humanities ( Georg- Elective and SS ) !!! OMG, OMG, OMG......."

I admit I screwed this papers up, especially combined humanities, but for Physics ? NO WAY ! This subject was as good as gone once HE* walked into our class to "teach" Pure Physics. All our pleads came and went ( Due to the "softness" of the dear girls of the then 3E1, especially KKB or AKA happy Tree(as in 3) friends ),and we got stuck with HIM* for 2 whopping years.

Due to the above stated failures, I am oblinged to attend more "Intensive Studying CrashCourse" ( No No, this is not the THE BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK I had ). But anyway, I have Physics and Chem intensive Group studies about 4hrs a day, almost everyday, another Physic Private tutor, Humanities intensive studies and not forgetting A maths Tuition.

Fine, I accepted what my dad had thrown at me, those tuitions and all that, and it's approximately...S$2450... Just this month only. HOLY ! ( But this is not THE BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK ) Overtime, I get to accept this as I want better grades for my O levels, and I kinda like the tutors. =)

Ok, now here's THE BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK which I got today. I was rushing for A maths tuition after my Physics/Chem studies at Marine Parade which ended at 5. I was late for A maths as it starts at 5. Ironic I know. Being pressed for time, I "ditched" my tuition buddies at their bus stop and made for mine, without saying a proper goodbye ( Sry people T-T ! ). I saw my bus and got on it. For those who's interested in the bus I took, it's 197, towards Bedok Bus Interchange. I boarded the bus, and made my way to an empty seat.

This is it. THE BIG, HUMONGOUS, MEGA SHOCK. I saw her. I don't know her name , but I SAW HER. There she saw seating on the seat just behind the exiting door, looking a little blur ( KAWAII. Kinda for her ). My heart raced.

She had a pony tail and a angelical face. She was dressed in a white school uniform, donning a red, scarf like tie which ran down to her chest. She literally sparkled in the sunlight. She...was a Princess, in fact, a Goddess to my eyes. She was refine. Mature. Not like those Ah Lians you'll see on streets. She had those beautiful eyes, although she wore glasses but hey, it makes her more beautiful ! And as a bonus, she has this petite figure which is stunning. Gosh, it was a rare ocassion in my life, to see such a rare beauty.

She was different from the other girls, perhaps unique ? A typical ah lian, who tucks her shirt out, wear "mini" skirt and wears a pair of nearly non-existence ankle length socks or maybe displays the bitchy/slutty side. She was the total opposite.

Plus the things i stated above, it made her a goddess. In my eyes. Usually girls would whip out their handphones or some other devices to occupy their brains during the bus trip, but for her, no! She just sat there and "enjoyed the scenary", which I don't expect many to do besides me. Although she look like she's a little lost while looking at the scenary, this is negligible.
I was like :

"HOLY S**T, she's like the girl of my dreams. No wait, She IS the girl of my dreams. OMG.... Is this an act of "God" ?"

Shocked, I was immobilized for a while, until I remembered that there were people behind me, so I went to take a seat. Again, being stunned by her beauty, I was unable to recover on time to seat beside her. Damn it, I've wasted a chance.

Anyway I sat at the back still astounded by what I saw, and I admit I did peep at her ocassionally. Before alighting, I peeped at her again. She was like looking at something (the ceiling perhaps? I'm not sure ) and when I just walked past her, she had to do this action, stretching or something similar and this resulted her chest ( MUST USE REFINED WORDS ! ) protruding, and I was just beside and facing her. Holy Crap I almost had a nosebleed.

But alas, good things never last long T-T, and we went our seperate ways. I thought that was it, and I really, really hope to see her again. Then bus no.38 went past me. And She was on the bus and I saw her. Wow~

Now I'm a believer =)
Perhaps if allowed, I would want to see her again =X

HE*, HIM* - Some Male Teacher in my school. Maybe I posted about him months ago

2006-06-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm~ Regarding the last post bout' me being a vegetarian, after many enquires on this, I've decided to tell everyone the truth.

The truth is : I'm NOT a Vegetarian =X

My family consumes meat products, virtually the WHOLE Tan ( Mom's side ) and Neo ( Dad's side ) consumes meat products, and No~ We're not Buddhists. In fact, we're Free Thinkers. Ok maybe a little to the Taoist side ( Grandma factor - Dad's side )

Why do I NOT consume most meat products. The reason is simple : I DONT LIKE it. Don't ask me why, I just dont like it. I remembered during my younger days, like 3,4 years old, I did consume meat products. A box of McDonald chicken nuggets at the Bukit Timah McDonald restaurant, lobster meat during my Grandma's Birthday ( Mom's side ) . I dont remember why I just stop eating meat, I'm virtually freaked out by them, and just went eating veggies -.- ( Jia Zae ).

My Dad was really freaked out when I announced that I had jump to the life of a vegetarian, and forced me to eat meat, and I mean it. I was a little persistent, and resisted alot, but then for now, FOR NOW, I DO take in PROCESSED MEAT ( Phrase given by dear CK ). Processed meat as in Fish Fillets, Hams, Luncheon meat, etc...Anything that's reprocessed from meat to another form/shape other than it's original look. Anyway, I'm still not a big fan of these.

So if you guys are going to McDonald, Burger King, fear not -.-. I can eat most of the burgers there, and I love them.

- My mama once told me, that I look like a mini Buddha; Shaven head ( Near Botak ), consumes no meat products, very filial, and kind. Apparently that changed after some incidents occuring in my life, but I still have them inside me though, but I dont express out to you people =P.

- Was it a dream ? Illness which has caused me to become "Vegetarian" ? I'll need to remember bout' that -.-, but it's somehow connected to these 2.

- Going for really, really, really late dinner AKA supper. ( It's Dinner in fact -.- )

2006-06-22T15:27:00.000+08:00

Wow I've not posted for such a long time. Even blogging seems alien to me now.

Well this past few months nothing much happened, exams, studies, gaming, you name it, nothing much.

One of the highlights was 5th of June til 8th of June, when I went on a School Field Trip to Cameron highland / Malacca for a 4 days/3 nights tour. Like always, my mom went nuts over the speed and method of me packing my luggage. Then came the day, 5th June, woke up early, played a little maple story ( I actually got a coolie map o.O ) and went to school. Problem is, we had to dress in PE attire when we depart for Malaysia, and I missed the last meeting ( Kee Chen...You didnt tell me -.-" ). I'm like some idiot dressed in some World cup 2004 shirt ( Official de ) carrying 2 big luggages. Haiz, bad start liao, then Ms Koh had to KaJiao me...

The trip to Cameron Highlands seemed short, maybe it's the "sitting in the bus" factor, or the "not looking ut the window" factor, or maybe I slept. For a very long long time. When we reach there though, it's like 7pm++, and to me that's no big deal
cause I just LOVE the night~It's cold~ it's cool~ ( minus the journey up the mountain -.- It hurts ).

Regarding over me being a Vegetarian, hmm it's hard to explain, I think I'll just post another time bout' this =P. The 1st night was a good one, me and Wes ( my room mate ) watched the World Cup on Rtv7 ? Dont remember the TV channel liao. The purpose of me going to Cameron highlands was to just relax and enjoy the climate, so what tours we did there, was kinda blurry to me, plus I had'nt have a good night sleep that time -.- ( World Cup plus the GF factor ).

The 2nd and 3rd night was kinda horrendous, Wes's GF ( Assumed, judging from how they behave towards each other ) came over to OUR room. Yesh, Gals are not allowed to come to our room, but hey, who listens ? Anyway they played, not hanky panky mind you, just cards and some other stuffs til 5++ -.-, and we need to wake up by 6~7+ -.-. I had to wake Wes up nia, and we're late often -.-".

On the 3rd day, we missed the Mega mall Shopping Trip T.T, I wanted to shop for Xbox goodies and books so badly... but hey, we DID went to Mahkota shopping complex on the last day to shop, thought this's the 3rd time I've been there this past 4 years... During the short 1 hr trip, I just bought a Xbox 360 magazine ( SGD$20 T.T ) and rumbled in the arcade there, but alas, it was time to go.

Now, I shall post one of the most disappointing thing i saw : Some malay cleaner, around the age of 40+, went to KiSiao this young kid whom I believe was below 10. That kid was ahem~ Doing his business, then that bloody cleaner ( that Old bastard ) forced open the toilet door, stared at that kid, laughed hysterically and closed the toilet door back. And he continued, continued, even when the kid cried, that old cock continued his disgusting behaviour. Bloody disgusting, even more disgusting than my younger brother of mine... I wanted to help, but my friends dragged me away..

It's not to insult Malaysians or Malays though, but that guy seriously had some issues to settle.

When I came back to S'pore, I was exhausted from talking in the bus in the darkness for hours and hours, and from chewing gums non-stop, I exhausted my jaw muscles -.-, and eating became a chore. Long trip, but good though.

I'll continue maybe later cause I've to go for tuition -.-.

2006-03-17T13:40:00.000+08:00

Once again I fear my memory is starting to fail me. I had actually forgotten to blog about my family getting a new car =X.

No, it's not that we're rich, it just that our old car, Nissan Cefiro ( I think it's spelt like this ) was about 5 years old. High time to change, for the Singapore Government have this "scheme", trade in your car within the next 5 years of purchase and you're entitled with some cash rebate. Common sense tells you that you'll be trading your old car for a newer, more environmental friendly and gorgeously looking car. It's a good thing, right ?

Anyway the model of the new car is Toyata's Estima, and it's a family carriage type car, which my family is so obsessed about. It'll be serving us, from today onwards, while Nissan Cefiro, was decommission with effect of yesterday. RIP Cefiro~.

- Knowing a new friend is a good thing. Losing an old friend is a bad thing. Having a Idiotic brother who knows no limit of acting like a loser ( Rephrase nicely liao ), is seriously a pain in the neck. ( Rephrase nicely also )