Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Mid Life Crisis

Well, it's almost official. I'm having something like a great interest in Business related stuffs. Something like... Science Practical. You get to do hands on~!

Another thing is that, yeah, my colleague, Charles (Not the Charles of 07S208, but the other Charles who's Indian and works in Mediatron Advertising XD).

Dont engage in BGR while you're in JC. Man, from the numerous JC relationship failures I've seen so far, I'm curious to know if it's due to information failure, incompatibility, shift in focus in life or it's just the plain old "I've found a better person, so...I choose him/her over you" kind of crap.

Yawnz. Along with the coming Promos, Double Yawnz. With no holidays in sight, Triple Yawnz. Man, I need a GOOD motivation to mug sia.

I'm starting to question alot of things, bout myself, bout life and almost everything else. Mid Life crisis? So early? I'm like 17 only SIA. Man I'm gonna dying so young YAWNZ. I still wanna have kids sia. I like Kids. I simply adore their innocence.

I still cant shake it off man. I just cant.

Oh by the way people, catch the Halo 3 E3 trailer 2007. IT's AWESOME.
And some things never change. My brother is a fcuking retard. But he's a little better than some others I knew. The only difference between my Bro and them is that my Bro sucks at acting. Suck ALOT.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Temperament

Well, personally I think, we humans have underestimated the power of Time.

It can shape mountains, bring the mightiest trees down to their knees, silence active volcanoes, change the face of our Blue Planet as well.

Time also reveals the true intent of us, Humanity. This process, well, isnt a pleasant one. Time erodes our patience. It peels off our protective layers, which some of us have given the term "Masks", barring our inner most thoughts to our surrounding. This is when, People will truly know who're they interacting with.

They tell us, who we really are.

And I can say that...I'm appalled by what I've seen. Enough to change my thoughts radically. Is such phenomenon normal?

What people truly says and react contradicts. What?
People use flaws to attack each other. Why?
People with no passion for the things they do. Then why continue doing it?
Why people must be selfish? Why can't they be nice and friendly to each other? Can't they just just smile and enjoy the moment?

The importance of tolerance as a virtue. How many Singaporeans are following it? And how many actually believe in it? How many of YOU actually follow this virtue from YOUR OWN HEART, but not just because it's convenient?

Being exhausted and weary gives you no right to put someone down. There was never such rights. For those people who does it proudly, congratulation. You seriously disgust me, and some are much closer than I've thought. WTF do they have to do this? It shows how powerful you are? No, in fact, it shows that you're immature, weak and twisted. You may have friends, but True Friends? God Knows.

I've tried so hard, and got so far
In the end, it doesnt even matter.
I had to fall, to lose it all
In the end, it doesnt even matter.

Well, I'm awed by BumbleBee. Songs roughly depicts what you feel.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

When things start to piece together.

Hmm...

11.7.07

A great day to start. Ho Hum.

Sometimes, things just happen when you least expected them, like for me today.

Who would had known I would receive Enlightenment today? I didnt even expected it though, it's just strange and compelling. I felt that...I just had to go there and have a chat with him.

Viola~ Enlightenment. Made me a little Mature (I hope LoL). Made me, a little more appreciative of everything around me. I've also gained/changed some views bout certain aspects of Life, and...

I really want to cherish people around me. Especially those I love dearly.

It happened to be on this day. The no. 117 appeared here. Makes me wonder bout God. Assuming if you exist, is this some sort of sign? Guidance? Or just a nice slap on the back kind of encouragement?

I'm slowly mugging. Focus on my JC studies. I also have a promise made, though it's not acknowledged. But I should be contented for now. Let Faith and Destiny work their magic.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Doubts

When One has doubts, he will not achieve much.
When One has alot doubts, he will achieve nothing.

As we're exposed to more and more information from all around us, we start to question more and more of it. For questions we do not have a definite answers to, we can only speculate a conclusion. When these conclusions start to show their flaws, we get unnerved. When we get nervous, we have doubts. Doubts will then lead us to question again, and thus begin this never ending cycle.

Like a human body, The Mind can get exhausted due to "over questioning".
This is when, The Mind just shut itself out from the outside influences.
This is when Life just goes all straight down.

For doubts to be removed, there must be motivation and purpose, one as the fuel and the other as a path. This is when the mind will solely focus on this task, and gradually let go all doubts.
Find a Life Long Motivation. Live it. Fulfil it. Find someone who'll spur you on to continue towards that goal.

If only school was a Boss monsters or something. At least it can be defeated.

YAWNZ.

It's already July le.

Times flies when you're in JC. Back in the good old secondary school days, time didnt even fly that fast. I had time to nap, play games(Lots of it too), watch TV and just spacing out. Now... Time has officially become some sort of scarcity. My demand for Time is TOO BIG. So big that it's eating into my sleeping time.

And what's cause without effects? Stiff necks. Worse than before, and it feels more and more like someone is either squeezing or stretching the hell out of my neck/shoulder muscles. Another thing is that my body, apparently has reached its limits, or I'm getting old liao. I cant survive long nights. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I cant survive Long Nights and Long Days continuously. And to make it worse, I quickly adapted back to sleeping after morning (How's 6am for starters? Now imagine for the whole of June Holidays..), and when school started, it was HELL FOR ME. Eyes feeling like they've been in the oven, my mind and limbs are getting more and more numb by this exhaustion. My mind is a total blank during school mornings, having less controls over my limbs, aching neck and sometimes fingers, and ultimately. My speech. Man, how to speak when your mind is like...TOTALLY WASTED SIA. It's a miracle that I can still even move my mouth to speak.

I feel like a wasted person. Haiz. Rotting in the inside too. This lifestyle sucks sia. There's no "true" purpose, I only live to mug. YAWNZ. Where's all the fun? Though there's this sayin' :

In every Job that has to be done, there's an element of Fun. And when you find the Fun, SNAP! The Job's a game~!


Sorry people, I'm not saint or some workaholic. I do thinks cause it's Fun. Or if it serves a meaningful purpose. And well. Studying has some fun, which I surprisingly found out last year during the "Month Long Mugging With Uncle John and Friends", but...In JC, it isnt bout studying. It's bout everything else except Fun. Fun via learning? Nah, not during my schooling time. Maybe in the future? God knows.

Politics exists at various education levels, primary, secondary etc. But after graduating from secondary school, One may be surprised by how intense Politics are in JCs. I dont know bout Poly, but from how I view it, if you like Projects, then it's your calling. As for JCs, it's the breeding ground for potential future politicians. But they need more time to mature though, cause at this level, most tend to decide on matters using their emotions.

Workload is another killer, cause you'll be in school for bout...10 hours. Yeap. 10 whopping hours. Not including travelling time by the way. Even adults dont require to work that long sia. And another thing? They get paid.

Democracy in schools are bullshit. Sorry for the strong word used. But it's full shit. Seriously. Vote for someone cause they look hot? Please, we're voting for people who'll devote their time and effort for the school, not voting for "The Hottest Babe and Hunk". Another thing, Popularity vote? SHEESH. Dont vote for people cause they're your friends. In fact, you should decide and vote by concluding if they could handle such responsibilities. Sometimes, popularity voting can be brought to another higher level, which I personally seen before. Your friends expect, and in fact, ask you to vote for a certain someone, and you're expected to do so, cause when friends tell you to do something, you must accomplish it. So, if you dont do so, you'll be questioned, and suay suay ar, the friendship's over. Sad huh, when people say kids and teens nowadays mature faster, well. I think it's in terms of Fashion. Nothing much bout the being rational part.

Exams, HAIZ. THE MOST DEGRADING and THE MOST LETHAL thing you can ever experience in JC life. Exams are much tougher compared to the ones you had back in secondary school or even primary school. Well for example, I've obtained U (The Lowest ever grade you can possibly ever get) for all subjects except Chinese. Ok, I've not gotten back my maths paper yet, but oh well. I guess it's a U.But I got 23 for Physics even though I didnt study for it, I didnt even attempt most tutorials, and I got a 23. Compared to some I know who mugged hard, they got bout 30+. So...Mugging could only get you an additional 10 marks only. Rewarding? Hard to say.

The subjects I'm studying now are kinda interesting, but the school life and exams just have to kill it off. Life now just sucks. Well sorry for being pessimistic, but I dont really like the idea of lying to myself and saying,"Hey, Life's great~! I've having a great time getting killed off by school."